The long Haul…

So I resumed the chemo drugs this morning as planned. They called yesterday and due to the fact that I just had Covid and have been having trouble draining my lungs of fluid, the team opted to wait until this morning.

l can’t tell a whole lot in the way of side effects so far, but here we go…

In other news, I have a blood work-up scheduled for 840am at the clinic tomorrow, a 925am meeting with one of my Oncology docs, and a 255pm Echocardiogram (heart) so they can get a clearer picture of what’s going on. 

And what else is going on? 

Well, everything has been really great on most fronts other than low oxygen levels and shortness of breath. I can’t breath so well, especially at night and when I asked about it, they answered with these tests and this meeting. Being out of breath at a resting position is disconcerting at a minimum. I have these panic attacks when I can’t breath.

Waking up in the middle of the night feeling like you’re drowning is no fun at all. I am grateful I have an oxygen machine at the house, thanks to my cousin Luke who just happened to have one lying around. So overall, I’m blessed. Chemo drugs are working. I can manage pain and side effects fairly well, and life with the family is going great. 

However, I want things to move faster than they are, but here I am taking steps back into the land of breathing machines and tests like we did back in May. 

But I guess that’s what people mean when they say they are fighting cancer for years.

You wonder, “How long will this go on, Lord?”

It gives new meaning to the Psalms that go on and on like that.

My friend told me it’s a mind game, which is true. Most battles are won and lost in the battlefield of the mind. Attitude is everything and even effects the outcome much of the time. 

But as Ben Franklin said, “Well done is better than well said.” 

But who can really pull it off? 

Who can stay positive and overcome when it’s lonely at night? 

None of the people who are around me are sick like I am, so it does feel lonely.

I hope I can overcome. I want to stay positive. 

I try to use the “tools” I have been given to get through it. 

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~ Serenity Prayer 

Crushed?

Having hope is something everybody needs, at every age, and in every category. But our enemy, the devil, works relentlessly to demolish our hope, especially in medical crises. For example, he whispers, “Nelson can’t beat this. No one can overcome cancer this extensive. I’m going to win this one, and you know it.”

But we don’t know it.

The only things we know for sure are the things God tells us—things like this:

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

Nelson is being hard pressed on every side, but we believe he won’t be crushed.  He and all of us are perplexed, but we won’t despair. He’s been persecuted by this awful cancer, but neither God nor any of us will ever abandon him. He’s been struck down, definitely. But we’re asking his Heavenly Father to protect him from complete destruction.

Today a worn out Nelson, who’d struggled with increasing pain through the night, was transported to a separate Mayo Clinic building where he endured what he called a “brutal procedure.”

Since his lungs continually fill with fluid making it difficult to breathe, his pulmonary doctor moved to install a catheter or shunt so Nelson will be able to drain it himself. In the process, he had his right lung drained for the 5th time, another liter-plus of fluid.

Following this, Nelson was taken to radiology for a chest x-ray to check the position of the catheter in his lung, and then back to his hospital room. When I asked him if he’d been transported by wheelchair or ambulance he said, “By bed.” Then he gave me a goofy grin, as if to say, “How ‘bout that.”

In addition to the lung procedure today, three other significant things happened:

  1. All nine of the biopsy studies came back, revealing that Nelson was a good candidate for immunotherapy. We were thrilled with that news, since this cutting-edge method of treating cancer, even Stage 4 cancer, is getting good results.
  2. We also learned that Nelson’s treatment would begin today. This was to be a combination of chemotherapy and immunotherapy, delivered through an IV. As I sat in his hospital room this afternoon, the process began right in front of my eyes.

I almost cried knowing the long wait was over at last. As of 5:30 PM today, his cancer cells would no longer be allowed to rule the day, even those recently found in his brain. Instead they would be forced to die.

  1. Something else wonderful happened today. Since the battle to get ahead of Nelson’s pain had failed as many days as it had succeeded, they gave Nelson his own button to push whenever relief was needed. When I arrived today and said, “How’s it going?” he lifted up something small and said, “This…. is a game changer.”

A cylinder the size of a chapstick with a button at one end was delivering high-powered pain relief with every push of his thumb. No more calling for a nurse and waiting for a pill that would take 30 minutes to work. He was in charge now, and he couldn’t have been happier.

…..not crushed, not despairing, not abandoned, not destroyed.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial….” (James 1:12)

Newlywed Love (#121)

November 25-26, 1970 – Thanksgiving Eve and Day

Nate and I finally figured out where we would sleep my parents, brother, and three aunties on the night before Thanksgiving. Agnes and Ruth would go in our bedroom, having hoped for a closed door. Helen would be comfortable on the living room couch.

TommyMom and Dad would cuddle up on the pull-down Murphy bed, and Tom would have the dining room floor.

Nate and I would be on the living room floor in front of the fireplace – a sleeping spot not unfamiliar to us. And the whole night promised to be unique!

After our cake and coffee at about 10:00 PM Wednesday evening, we took turns in the bathroom and then said our good-nights. Mom was so into the adventure of it all she couldn’t settle down, cracking jokes about her sleeping spot with Dad in the swoopy Murphy bed.

“Don’t look at what’s going on in this bed,” she said. “It’s x-rated.” Of course she was joking, and I could hear Dad trying to shush her so he could drift off to sleep.

Dad carvesSomehow we made it through the night and a nourishing scrambled egg breakfast before Mary, Bervin, little Luke, and doggie Russell arrived. Then Mom lent me her cooking expertise, and when everything was finally ready, Dad did the carving on the sink drain board. Despite having prepared the meal in a kitchen with only 18 inches of counter-space, our late afternoon Thanksgiving feast was a success.

After washing all the dishes assembly-line style, we “youngsters” played games on the floor while the “oldsters” nodded off.

Aunt Agnes snoozesDad snoozes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was peaceful… and perfect. And I was proud of Nate for setting aside his books completely throughout the day. They were on his mind, to be sure, pressing hard, but he never mentioned them.

Family photoMom wanted to take a family photo announcing their first grandchild in a Christmas card, so we assembled in front of the window. Our Danville friend Rick took the picture.

A family of five had begun to grow, and now we were eight. Mom wondered aloud how many might join the ranks in future years. “The more the merrier,” she said, meaning it with all her heart.

Around 10:00 PM our guests began getting their coats, which we’d known ahead of time had to happen. Even the Chicago group was committed back home the next morning.

Saying goodbyeNate and I stood at our apartment door waving them down the stairs, one group at a time, deeply thankful that the whole family had been together. Our time had been short — but memorable.

And with our parting words, we promised to host a Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family every year from that day forward – no matter how big we grew.

“Giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.” (Psalm 50:23)