Nelson’s Journal, 11/8/22

This journal entry is written six days before Nelson and his little family move from the rental apartment into the old/new house. Nelson can’t work physically like he used to, but he’s stunned by the many friends who’ve stepped up to help.

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November 8, 2022

Reading the Psalms in the dark kitchen like usual before dawn. Daylight savings was last weekend.

Hear my voice, O God, in my complaint; preserve my life from dread of the enemy. (Psalm 64:1)

I feel the fear of the treatment coming before I even take the pill. I fear the fevers, the vomiting, the whole thing, but I pray that you, Lord would preserve my life from dread of the enemy.

It’s potentially a big day working at the house. I have helpers coming from church, and it’s up to me to keep them stocked with stuff to do. Yesterday, I wasn’t so up for that, and I let it slide a little.

Helpers hit me with a thousand questions about what is the plan. Usually, I’m good at this stuff, and for years I have been, staying up late the night before, going to Home Depot, reserving rental equipment so things go off without a hitch, but I’m not that man right now.

I need your help Lord, to know how to navigate this short season before we move in next week. There have been so many of these, Lord, like the one where I was online applying for insurance, and getting this apartment here. There was the loan process itself, which seemed to take forever. Seasons of work with an end.

I need to work hard during this short little season and for me, that doesn’t mean lifting and working, as much as it means supervising and getting supplies for the work others are helping me do. I pray, Lord, for your help with that.

I pray, Lord, that they can find a solution for the fluid buildup that’s coming back into my lungs. I thought we were over that, but now it’s happening again, and the medical supply company won’t deliver the canisters [bottles]. I pray for a breakthrough there.

Forgive my selfish prayers, Lord. So much all about me and our stuff. I pray for Lars, and Klaus, for Hans, and Linni, for Britt and Weeze. We have quite the family all doing our things. Almost all of us have kids now, but I pray we can maybe get together on Thanksgiving down at Mom’s place.

I pray that you would kindle an increasing love and desire for you in each of their hearts. That we would pray for each other and get closer to you in the process. Maybe this nightmare that’s happening to me is designed to serve that purpose. May it be so then, Lord.

I pray you would take away this searing back pain. I don’t know what brought it on, but please take it away, Lord. You are the healer and for that I need you now more than ever. Thank you for Kevin and Dennis and their offer to help us with the house.

Thank you that we have the house and are able to work on it. What a dream come true. Give me the wisdom to know how to use them. Turned out good today with Kevin. He came and took a pretty good load of stuff away in his trailer. Always lots of stuff to haul away at an old house like this one.

I am so thankful for these church folks. We have about 6 more days to work before we move in, so that’s the deadline. My chemo pills could affect things, but for now, it’s forward march.

I’m thankful for the health. I do have lung fluid building up again, so that’s negative. A catheter to drain it will be reinstalled Friday (today is Tuesday) so that’s a step backwards, but it’s nice to have them willing to do it.

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“A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17)

(I’m traveling now but will resume Nelson’s journal entries on March 25.) 

Nelson’s Journal, 11/5/22 & 11/6/22

At long last, Nelson and his crew have begun scraping and painting at the new house in preparation for their move-in. Despite the misery of the cancer, Nelson is upbeat and happy.

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November 5, 2022

Saturday morning. Been working at our house to get it ready to move into. Ralph and Astrid are a big help. They are painters and scrapers. It’s really fun to actually be doing it.

Lord, you have made the dream a reality. I am so grateful and give all the glory to you. We even have Judy coming down to help today. Things are going great with the house painting, which is mostly all we’re going to do before moving in.

November 6, 2022

Another morning at the computer in the dark kitchen before starting the day here in Rochester. It’s the first day back on the chemo meds after a 5 day break. I am so thankful for that break. It was getting so gnarly there for a while. I was up all night, fevers, vomiting, and general body aches.

I am super thankful the drugs actually work and shrink the cancer, though, so I’m glad to get started with that again.

We’re painting at our new place. Ralph and Astrid are working there almost every day, and we are trying to do the same.

I have been having lots of trouble breathing, and it made last night really long and rough. We are hoping for the best. It’s a mind-game with the chemo side effects.

I’m also going to St.Mary’s [one of Mayo’s hospitals] to get a catheter put back in my right lung. Seems it’s filling up again after a few short days.

Lord, I pray for minimal side effects and steady healing of the cancer. Please be merciful to me with the fevers. Please be merciful to me with nausea as well. Thank you that we have drugs that work. I am so thankful for that. Amen.

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“Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits…” (Psalm 103:2)

Nelson’s Journal, 11/3/22

Now that Nelson and Ann Sophie have access to their house, they can begin the renovating they’ve been excited about for many weeks. But as they get started, Nelson’s diminished energy becomes a major frustration for him… and for Ann Sophie, too, for a different reason.

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November 3, 2022

Slept great last night, probably because I stopped taking the chemo drugs. I am taking a short break until Tuesday, after begging for a little time off. The fevers have been constant, even last night, but just not as bad. They were getting so bad, it was constant sweating and shaking, even while taking Tylenol.

Ralph and Astrid (and Annso, left) started at the house yesterday, cleaning and scraping, and they will paint in the kitchen today. Annso and I had a little blowout because of me going and working too much.

I do press myself too much, and for that I’m sorry. I have such a hard time, having always been able to do so much, and now I’m at the sidelines all the time.

I threw up at Home Depot yesterday and thankfully made it to the toilet. The sickness goes on and on, seemingly without end—102 fevers all day and night, unless I take Tylenol. Then the edge is gone, but they’re still there.

Lord, it’s been more stressful than ever on our marriage, this sickness and trying to do anything else, like buy a house and move into it, given it needs a little work first.

I always knew I wouldn’t be able to do all that much, but I didn’t think it would be nothing at all. Just going there for 20 minutes is all Annso can handle, and maybe it’s all I can handle. That’s the trouble we’re having, Lord.

We seem to have it worked out for the moment. Please show us the balance. You know our hearts, the lessons you want to teach us, and our limits. You know how far to take this. I pray you can show me how far to go.

You are our rock and shield. Please let us cling to nothing but you, even in our own and different ways. Certainly you are teaching us each something different. We are learning life separate but together. She is the best think you have ever done for me.

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“Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser.” (Proverbs 9:9)