Messy Motives

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All of us have days when we work hard but accomplish little. One of my daily prayer requests is for God-prompted efficiency, but it doesn’t always pan out that way.

Today, my first day back from England, I’d hoped to get much accomplished and started the laundry first thing. It wasn’t long, though, before I got distracted by other chores, and inefficiency took over. When I finally got back to the wash machine hours later, I opened the lid and groaned. I’d forgotten to check my pockets, and the black wash was dotted with hundreds of tiny, sticky bits of wet Kleenex.

As I lifted the clothes from the washer, pieces of matted tissue flicked onto me and the rug, and also back into the wash tub. I stood and picked at the clothes for a long time before putting them in the dryer, berating myself for such inefficiency.

Then later, on the fourth load, the very same thing happened! Hundreds more pieces of wet tissue had to be picked off of more clothes, inefficiency on steroids.

Isn’t sin much like that? We tuck away a little something negative and figure we’ll take care of it later. It may stay hidden for weeks or even years without causing any trouble, and we may even have forgotten about it. Then suddenly it makes a reappearance that looks nothing like the original. It’s bigger, stickier, a problem multiplied to the point of requiring major damage control.

Most of us find it hard to always do things right. We’re better at cutting corners, fudging the truth, and enjoying corrupt thoughts. Even when we know we’re on a path we shouldn’t be, we’re reluctant to get back on track right away. We say, “Yes, I’ll definitely correct that, just not right now.”

I’d like to think that after we make enough messes, we’ll learn not to repeat our mistakes. But my wash day mayhem proves otherwise. Intentions are one thing, actions another.

Thankfully, God wants to help. He starts each of us off with a tender conscience and urges us to pay attention to it. If we ignore his promptings, we can count on extensive clean-up later.

But every new day offers another chance to do things well. Just as my dryer’s lint screen caught many of the tissue bits on my clothes, God makes sure our sin catches us, then sees that we deal with the consequences. But after we clean up our messes, his offer is always for a new chance to try for righteous living.

Maybe a good prayer at the start of each day isn’t a request for efficiency but for a passion to do things right the first time around.

“The Lord will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.” (1 Corinthians 4:5)

Homeland Security

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Traveling in and out of foreign countries can be tricky, and the best idea is to cooperate with those in charge. At official airport checkpoints, it’s wise not to speak until spoken to and then to give short, succinct answers. Forget the ad libs, the cute quips, the attempts to be friendly.

This morning as I left England, I was ushered through 3 airport security checkpoints by uniformed officials in search of eye contact and honest statements. As I waited in line, I worried about several things. Would they be irritated by the orange in my carry-on, since fruit in luggage is a no-no? I remembered being lectured long ago because a banana peel had been in my bag hours earlier. Its lingering scent won me a bag inspection.

Displaying my clear plastic quart-sized baggie with small gels and lotions in it, I approached checkpoint number two thinking I’d covered all the bases. Then I remembered the lip balm in my coat pocket.

Watching the woman in front of me get frisked and then endure a pocket check, I pictured myself in an empty room asking for one phone call. Thankfully I made it through that one, but while sitting at the gate, one more check occurred. Several men arrived with leashed dogs trained to sniff bags, encouraging them to walk slowly past each of us… twice.

I couldn’t wait to board the plane that was sitting just outside the airport window, the one with “American Airlines” written along the side. After feeling like airport officials had been searching for a way to exclude me, that airplane represented the end of judgments and the beginning of warm acceptance.

After I was finally buckled into seat 33A, the plane took off and flew across the entire Atlantic Ocean above a carpet of fluffy white clouds. That heavenly scene pulled my thoughts to spiritual judgment and the harsh exclusion I deserve because of repeated sins. What will it feel like to stand in front of Jesus with that kind of record? Although airport officials had a certain measure of power over me today, Jesus will have far more on that day.

But the glorious truth is that when I arrive in paradise at life’s final checkpoint, the Jesus in front of me will have already given me clearance because of arrangements made long ago when he took my rejection upon himself. And from everything I read in Scripture, when I stand in front of him, I’ll experience the warmth of an acceptance like I’ve never known.

Today at my very last checkpoint, the one inside in the United States, an immigration officer looked me in the eye and said, “Welcome home.” That felt pretty good, but when Jesus says it, it’s going to be downright spectacular, the ultimate in homeland security.

“Adam’s sin led to condemnation, but God’s free gift leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins.” (Romans 5:16)

Doing as I do.

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The old parenting joke in the 1950’s was, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Boxed in by the many catch 22’s of parenting, mothers and fathers wanted to issue the edicts but then have an escape hatch for themselves, a way to be the exception to every rule. Having been a parent for 39 years I get that. But the hard, cold truth of parenting is that our children and grandchildren end up doing as we do, not as we say.

While I’ve been the grandparent live-in at Katy and Hans’ home for a week, I’ve been impressed with the consistency and faithfulness they’ve demonstrated in their parenting. Being a good example is challenging, and as we see children copying us, the pressure to live well mounts. On the up side, it motivates us to “clean up our acts,” admitting that God is probably just using them to gently prod us to fix what needs fixing anyway.

Today I watched for specific teachings Katy and Hans were living out in front of their children. Since Hans had taken the day off, I got to watch them both. Katy emptied the toy bins with an eye to scaling down possessions, giving to the charity shop, and keeping their home well organized, all examples of good modeling.

Hans walked all 3 little ones (on their short legs) 4 blocks to and 4 blocks from the post-box to mail 2 letters, modeling togetherness, exercise, efficiency. Later the children lined up at the window “to watch Daddy work hard” rototilling the vegetable garden. Mommy simultaneously talked about the seeds the little ones could help plant in a few weeks, and the healthy vegetables they’d grow and eat.

Later she brought special toys from upstairs and played with the kids, setting up a mini-electric train, teaching sharing, taking turns and being gentle. She also disciplined unruly behavior and insisted on apologies.

At dinner good manners were encouraged (stop taking food from someone else’s plate, don’t throw food, say please). And at bath time, consideration of another’s wishes not to be splashed was important.

Other modeling included singing, praying, appreciating the kindness of others and lots more. Katy and Hans, along with many other young, hard-working parents I know, are making the most of opportunities to influence for good, exactly as God has encouraged them to do.

They do it out of love for their children and love for the Lord, not begrudgingly but with enthusiasm and good cheer. What they don’t know about today is that by their high quality modeling, they taught Grandma MeeMee a few things, too.

”Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

A Grand Opportunity

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Scripture is dotted with verses expressing the intensity of God’s love for people. And he has a special love relationship with those who follow him wholeheartedly and do their best to obey his commands.

Although I would never claim to understand the depth of his love for me, this week I’m getting a taste of intense love in the company of young Nicholas, Evelyn and Thomas, my 3 little British grands. The 4 of us recently spent a day with their other grandma, “Dandy”, playing together while their mummy took some much needed time for other things.

Our well-oiled grannie machine, Team Gran UK, operated at full power as we trucked the children here and there on a cold rainy day and whiled away the afternoon playing childish games in front of a parlor fire at Dandy’s house. While our little darlings played, we grandmas talked about the intensity of love we feel for our shared grands, different than mother-love and in a sense larger, because we’re allowed to be less taken with the here-and-now and more focused on the big picture.

God’s love is larger still, though. After all, he says it’s “as great as the height of the heavens.” (Psalm 103) His love is vast, larger than any of us can possibly experience, but maybe through grandchild-loving he does let us get a glimpse of it.

There is one other radical difference between God and us in terms of loving grandchildren: he doesn’t have any.

Each person who puts their trust in the Lord is reborn directly to him. He’s their Father, and Jesus is their brother. Christianity doesn’t filter through the generations by heredity, nor does it get passed along by family tradition. It doesn’t get watered down as oral history might, and it doesn’t become contaminated by over-use. Each conversion experience is brand-spankin’ new and pure, on its own.

I’m puzzled, however, by a couple of verses in the same Psalm that refer to spiritual grandchildren: “The love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments.” (vv. 17-18)

Children’s children? Aren’t those grandchildren? What does he mean?

Maybe he’s highlighting the precious privilege we grandparents have to model godliness for our grandchildren and to faithfully pray for them. Though our lives will eventually blow away like dust on a blustery day, our positive influence can continue through generations. In other words, nurturing our grands today can actually affect future relatives we’ll never meet.

And that puts a whole new light on Team Gran playing childish games with children in front of a warm fire on a cold winter day.

“He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.” (Deuteronomy 7:9)

A Happy Conundrum

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When Christmastime rolled around, all of Nate’s and my children were under my Michigan roof… except one. Hans and his British family were far away in England where they live, and we missed them dearly. With four thousand miles and an ocean between us, bridging the gap this year wasn’t possible.

My encouragement through the holidays was to know there was an empty seat on a plane to Great Britain waiting for me on January 17. Nicholas, age 3, and twins Evelyn and Thomas, 21 months, were looking for their Grandma MeeMee, and I was anxious to get reacquainted, since it’d been nearly a year since we’d been together.

Leaving Michigan on Tuesday and arriving in Manchester, England on Wednesday, I was concerned about the fatigue of jet lag, but that turned out to be wasted worry. This time there didn’t seem to be any, an astonishing surprise. (Thank you, Lord.)

Nicholas remembered his American grandma well, and the twins (who didn’t) had learned to walk and talk during our separation, all of which facilitated better communication.

Most delightful was listening to toddler British accents: “Oh dear!” was “Oh dee-ah!” and “No more” was “Nay moh.” Despite Hans’ strong American pronunciation, the 3 children speak distinctly British.

Katy has done a great job keeping American traditions alive with celebrations of the 4th of July and Thanksgiving, and I arrived to hand-made stars-and-stripes bunting strung in their living room. She’s also teaching them to enjoy Twizzlers, peanut butter and Nerds, distinctly American flavors, and they all visit the US as often as possible.

Sometimes when I’m in the States and they’re in England, it’s distressing to ponder the great distance between us, and it’s then I zero in on 4 things:

  1. Nate and I agreed we’d always let our kids manage their own adult lives, following their God-given dreams as thoroughly as possible without our objections, even if their choices weren’t ours.
  1. God leads in sometimes puzzling and surprising ways. He sees the long view of each life and puts the circumstances together accordingly.
  1. Watching my children lead satisfying, productive lives wherever they’re located is parentally pleasing.
  1. One day we’ll all live in the same town, the dwelling place of God, never to be separated again.

Katy and Hans are a perfect example of all 4 of these. They probably wouldn’t have met, except that God brought them from the UK and the US to New Zealand, where their participation in Youth With A Mission brought them together (God’s puzzling and surprising way).

Now, with a family, home, church and career, (satisfying, productive lives), they’ve followed their dreams (making their own choices) and also followed Jesus Christ (to his eventual eternal dwelling place).

And all of this brings delight to me, pleasure that negates even the inconvenience of a 4000-mile-wide ocean.

“All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.” (Isaiah 54:13)