Dazed for Days

The storm forms.Oklahoma is not OK. After Monday’s 2 mile wide, 210 mph tornado tore through a suburb of Oklahoma City, a 22 square mile piece of civilization was no more. News reports this morning used the word “dazed” in reference to the way citizens were feeling. After viewing photos, I see why.

Oklahoma is famous for frequent tornadoes, but no one could say they’d ever seen one like this. Even storm chasers, familiar with nature’s fury, were suffering from PTSD when it was over. “People are wandering around like zombies,” reporter Scott Hines said. “It’s like they’re not realizing how to process what just happened.”

Rescued!

Although two schools and a large medical center were beyond repair, thankfully the death toll wasn’t as severe as originally feared. But even for those who came through the storm without injury, recovery will take time. As one parent said, “I’m speechless. How did this happen? Why did this happen? How do we explain this to the kids?”

“Devastating” is too mild a word. Pictures and videos of the event told the miserable tale of destruction, but one photo was different than all the others:                                a cemetery picture.

Cemetery

Although the grass was littered with debris from the land of the living, the buried-dead remained untouched. But had the tornado ripped them from the ground, it wouldn’t have mattered to them. On May 20, those who’d already died were untouchable, even by a monster-size F5 tornado. They’d already taken up residence elsewhere, and for those in heaven, that day was like any other: safe and sound.

Once we’ve died, whatever is taking place on earth quickly fades. I think of the 24 souls who left the earth during Monday’s tornado and hope they’re all with Jesus Christ. If so, their safety concerns are over. No PTSD for them, no coping with lost homes or possessions. Stressing over where to live while their homes are rebuilt isn’t a problem, and they’re guaranteed never to experience another tornado.

Mom often said, “Know your bottom line.” She was sure of where she’d be after death and frequently said she wished it was “today”. Monday was the “today” for 24 people who were (we hope) lifted from that fearsome storm straight into glory. What a dramatic change! Of course it’ll be dramatic even if we’re taken out of this world on an ordinary day.

But those 24? They’ll be dazed for days, too…. but for a much different (and much better) reason.

“The Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18)

The Last Laugh

Skylar, my oldest grandchild at 5½ now, has always had a way with words. Children like her keep the rest of us entertained with their interesting comments, and one of Skylar’s two year old remarks has stuck with me. She and her family were visiting from Florida, and a dozen of us were seated around my dining table chatting. Skylar’s loud, animated jabbering was interfering, and finally her mother said, “Skylar! You can’t be so loud at the dinner table. Please talk softer.”

Laughing Skylar

Always thinking and not particularly interested in obeying at that moment, she looked directly at Linnea and said, in a quiet voice, “But Mommy, it’s good to laugh.” And quick as a wink she threw back her head, opened her mouth wide, and let out a rip-roaring, ear-splitting, drawn-out mega-laugh. She knew her mother wouldn’t say, “No laughing allowed!”

Although Skylar had the wrong approach, she did have the right idea. Scientists tell us we all benefit from a good laugh, and most of us don’t do enough of it. We’ve heard of Hollywood’s artificial “laugh tracks” and know the whole idea is to get us laughing more, enjoying the benefits of giggles and guffaws and the shows that cause them. Group laughter is a way of sharing in a happy experience.

Producers and directors recognize the power of a good laugh and have learned how to expertly blend natural and fake laughter. They’ve studied how wrongly placed laughs can ruin a story line, and how laughter that’s too loud or too long can offend listeners. Who knew there was such a thing as “wrong laughter?” But harnessing correct laughter translates to dollars and cents in the world of show business.

Sometimes I think about the things we laugh at in our spiritual lives and wonder if our behavior is always appropriate. Are we “laughing wrongly” as Skylar did that day at the table?

Maybe we can learn something from her laugh-wrapped disobedience. I have a hunch most of us do something similar on occasion. Haven’t we listened to our heavenly Parent’s instructions (or reprimands) with a hint of wrong laughter deep inside us? He tells us something important, and our inner laugh track quietly says, “Yeah, right. Ha ha.”

He says:

  • Put someone else’s needs atop your own. (We say, “Laughable.”)
  • Make decisions now, based on life after death. (“Oh sure.”)
  • Love your enemies. (“Ridiculous.”)
  • Believe that the devil is out to destroy you. (“Absurd.”)
  • View suffering as an effective teacher. (“Preposterous.”)
  • Trust your life to an unseen God. (“Outlandish.”)

How many times do we outwardly agree with him while inwardly thinking, “He can’t mean that!” But he hears our wrong-laugh track and is not joining in. What he wants from us instead is “correct laughter,” which is the deep satisfaction that bubbles up after cheerful, wholehearted obedience.

As for Skylar’s loud laughter at the table, she miscalculated her mother’s response, and during her time-out, she wasn’t laughing.

This is love: that we walk in obedience to [Christ’s] commands. (2 John 1:6)

If I had a hammer….

My husband was not a handyman. When I married him, I thought being mechanically inclined came naturally to most men, and that he’d automatically be my Mr. Fix-it. But when I asked him to do manual labor of any kind, he always bristled. I couldn’t figure it out, but that didn’t stop me from asking or him from complying.

A new seat

One day I thought maybe I was asking beyond his expertise. If I could find a simple task, things would go better. When our old toilet seat cracked, I came home with a new one and asked him to put it on. Two bolts. How hard could it be?

An hour after he started, I returned to inspect (and hopefully praise) him but found him spreading all our bath towels on a flooding floor.

“What happened?” I said.

“I couldn’t get the bolts off the old toilet seat, so I tried to hammer them off. That’s when water started pouring out the bottom!”

Not being mechanical myself, I hadn’t noticed the bolts were old metal ones, rusted and stuck. I probably would have used a hammer, too. The bottom line was a cracked toilet bowl that had to be replaced.

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Hammer

Remembering this incident reminded me of something I heard last week about unnecessary use of a hammer: “If a hammer is the only tool you have, everything looks like a nail.”

Isn’t that sometimes true of the way we try to get the attention of certain people in our lives? Sometimes we’re so passionate about making our point we “hammer it home” with excessive force when force isn’t needed.

Jesus described himself as gentle (Matthew 11:29), which didn’t preclude him from using force in the rare situations that warranted it. But he taught us by his consistent example that the most powerful tool was usually to use gentleness. That makes sense, since disproportionate force closes people off and prevents them from even hearing us.

Concerning the toilet bowl incident, a better approach would have been for Nate and I to have had a gentle discussion early in our marriage exploring why he disliked mechanical tasks so much. It would have saved a good deal of unnecessary angst and offense. Thankfully, we finally did that, and I learned the simple answer to the problem: he’d never been taught to do the tasks I was asking him to do. He certainly gets credit for trying, though, and I wish I’d given him more of it.

Tools

Eventually God surprised us when he endowed several of our children with the natural mechanical abilities our family (and our house) needed. And they knew how to use all kinds of tools…. not just hammers.

Paul said, “What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod of discipline, or shall I come in love and with a gentle spirit? (1 Corinthians 4:21)