In Memory Of….

February 2019 is in the books now, along with Valentine’s Day. We widows don’t look forward to February 14th like we used to when our men were with us, but no widow ever forgets how things used to be.

Even though Nate was a big gift-giver, I don’t miss the gifts nearly as much as the giver… especially on February 14th.

This Valentine’s Day, however, included a lovely bright spot. I received a unique gift that was linked back to my favorite giver.

 

Linda is both an old and a new friend. We met 50 years ago in 1969, as newlyweds. What brought us together was our teaching assignments at the same southern Illinois grammar school. We carpooled that year and forged a happy friendship in the process.

After two years, though, she and I moved apart, and our lives filled with children, homes, and separate schedules. In a natural way, our friendship dimmed. But in 2017, we reconnected through my blog — and our friendship was reborn. It’s been rewarding getting to know each other all over again.

And that’s where Valentine’s Day comes in.

Collecting the mail one day, I wondered what a padded envelope from Linda might contain. Inside was a pretty Valentine card and a heartfelt note that had Nate’s name in it. She wrote, “I saw the thing that is in this package and thought instantly of you and Nate.”

I couldn’t imagine what it was but didn’t waste time guessing. Unrolling the red tissue, the first thing I saw was the back side of her gift. She’d written an inscription on the crème-colored stone, and these four words jumped out at me:

“In memory of Nate.”

 

It’s been years since anyone used those words in my hearing, and they touched me deeply, so much so that I broke into tears. No one remembers a man like his wife does, but knowing someone else was remembering him, too, surrounded me with comfort.

When I turned over Linda’s gift, I found a lacy red heart and the words, “I love our story.”

My sentiments exactly.

 

One widow friend told me recently the thing she most fears is that people will forget about her husband. With the passing of time, fewer friends mention him, and his face isn’t in any of their photos. No fresh stories surface about him, nor are there any memories that haven’t already been shared.

And maybe that’s why Linda’s gift meant so much to me. She suggested packing it away with my Valentine decorations, but I prefer keeping it next to Nate’s picture on my dresser, where I can see it every day.

“God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Wedding Bells

Our family has heard so many wedding bells in the last few months that if they were assembled together, we’d have a bell choir. And it would be playing a beautiful song.

From August 2017 to August 2018, there were six weddings in our family, which included one of my sister’s children, two of my brother’s, and three of mine. These happy ceremonies took place in Hawaii, Iowa, Colorado, Illinois, Maryland, and Michigan.

[Right: Nelson and Ann Sophie in Hawaii]

I believe God loves weddings. After all, marriage was his invention when he presided over the very first one with a bride named Eve and a groom named Adam. It was a destination wedding like no other and took place in the Garden of Eden.

As our family weddings took place, we knew the Lord was smiling on each couple as they married. He was also listening carefully to the spoken commitments each bride and groom made to the other on their special day.

[Left: Birgitta, Spencer, and Emerald in Iowa]

Although these six weddings occurred in beautiful destinations from coast-to-coast , the “where” was never as important as the “what.”

These days, when two young people decide to get married rather than just live together, they’re stepping up to one of life’s biggest and most significant commitments. These six couples have promised to love and stand by each other, no matter what happens — which actually follows the example God has set for them. In the Bible he shows us all how to love well.

[Right: Charlie and Larissa in Colorado]

 

The Lord’s love is never based on our performance or our loyalty to him, so he never wobbles in loving us — because that’s who he is. God is love. Throughout Scripture he demonstrates this in a variety of ways.

[Left: Karl and Cecilia in Illinois]

 

As for earthly marriage, God laid out instructions on how to get the most out of a husband-wife relationship. Because he loves marriages, he wants to help them last. That’s why he makes his divine assistance available for the bumps in the road that come to all couples.

[Right: Ben and Amy in Maryland]

My prayer for these six new partnerships is that they’ll readily reach for the Lord as needed. And if they follow the directions he gives, all six will make it to their 50th anniversaries – when we’ll once again get to hear those bells of celebration ring!

“Love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)

[Left: Louisa and Justin in Michigan]

Newlywed Love (#121)

November 25-26, 1970 – Thanksgiving Eve and Day

Nate and I finally figured out where we would sleep my parents, brother, and three aunties on the night before Thanksgiving. Agnes and Ruth would go in our bedroom, having hoped for a closed door. Helen would be comfortable on the living room couch.

TommyMom and Dad would cuddle up on the pull-down Murphy bed, and Tom would have the dining room floor.

Nate and I would be on the living room floor in front of the fireplace – a sleeping spot not unfamiliar to us. And the whole night promised to be unique!

After our cake and coffee at about 10:00 PM Wednesday evening, we took turns in the bathroom and then said our good-nights. Mom was so into the adventure of it all she couldn’t settle down, cracking jokes about her sleeping spot with Dad in the swoopy Murphy bed.

“Don’t look at what’s going on in this bed,” she said. “It’s x-rated.” Of course she was joking, and I could hear Dad trying to shush her so he could drift off to sleep.

Dad carvesSomehow we made it through the night and a nourishing scrambled egg breakfast before Mary, Bervin, little Luke, and doggie Russell arrived. Then Mom lent me her cooking expertise, and when everything was finally ready, Dad did the carving on the sink drain board. Despite having prepared the meal in a kitchen with only 18 inches of counter-space, our late afternoon Thanksgiving feast was a success.

After washing all the dishes assembly-line style, we “youngsters” played games on the floor while the “oldsters” nodded off.

Aunt Agnes snoozesDad snoozes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was peaceful… and perfect. And I was proud of Nate for setting aside his books completely throughout the day. They were on his mind, to be sure, pressing hard, but he never mentioned them.

Family photoMom wanted to take a family photo announcing their first grandchild in a Christmas card, so we assembled in front of the window. Our Danville friend Rick took the picture.

A family of five had begun to grow, and now we were eight. Mom wondered aloud how many might join the ranks in future years. “The more the merrier,” she said, meaning it with all her heart.

Around 10:00 PM our guests began getting their coats, which we’d known ahead of time had to happen. Even the Chicago group was committed back home the next morning.

Saying goodbyeNate and I stood at our apartment door waving them down the stairs, one group at a time, deeply thankful that the whole family had been together. Our time had been short — but memorable.

And with our parting words, we promised to host a Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family every year from that day forward – no matter how big we grew.

“Giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.” (Psalm 50:23)