In Memory Of….

February 2019 is in the books now, along with Valentine’s Day. We widows don’t look forward to February 14th like we used to when our men were with us, but no widow ever forgets how things used to be.

Even though Nate was a big gift-giver, I don’t miss the gifts nearly as much as the giver… especially on February 14th.

This Valentine’s Day, however, included a lovely bright spot. I received a unique gift that was linked back to my favorite giver.

 

Linda is both an old and a new friend. We met 50 years ago in 1969, as newlyweds. What brought us together was our teaching assignments at the same southern Illinois grammar school. We carpooled that year and forged a happy friendship in the process.

After two years, though, she and I moved apart, and our lives filled with children, homes, and separate schedules. In a natural way, our friendship dimmed. But in 2017, we reconnected through my blog — and our friendship was reborn. It’s been rewarding getting to know each other all over again.

And that’s where Valentine’s Day comes in.

Collecting the mail one day, I wondered what a padded envelope from Linda might contain. Inside was a pretty Valentine card and a heartfelt note that had Nate’s name in it. She wrote, “I saw the thing that is in this package and thought instantly of you and Nate.”

I couldn’t imagine what it was but didn’t waste time guessing. Unrolling the red tissue, the first thing I saw was the back side of her gift. She’d written an inscription on the crème-colored stone, and these four words jumped out at me:

“In memory of Nate.”

 

It’s been years since anyone used those words in my hearing, and they touched me deeply, so much so that I broke into tears. No one remembers a man like his wife does, but knowing someone else was remembering him, too, surrounded me with comfort.

When I turned over Linda’s gift, I found a lacy red heart and the words, “I love our story.”

My sentiments exactly.

 

One widow friend told me recently the thing she most fears is that people will forget about her husband. With the passing of time, fewer friends mention him, and his face isn’t in any of their photos. No fresh stories surface about him, nor are there any memories that haven’t already been shared.

And maybe that’s why Linda’s gift meant so much to me. She suggested packing it away with my Valentine decorations, but I prefer keeping it next to Nate’s picture on my dresser, where I can see it every day.

“God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Chuckling with God

Three FriendsWhile spending several days with two good friends in Phoenix, our non-stop chatting made me forget to check-in with Southwest Airlines on the last day. Southwest passengers board in the order of check-in, so that meant I’d be last in line…. and wouldn’t get a window seat. After staying up late each night (3:00 AM on my Eastern Time body clock), I looked forward to leaning against the window for a nap.

Southwest plane

At the airport, I checked in the old-fashioned way, confirming my tail-end boarding position. Maybe it wouldn’t be a full flight, I thought, but as boarding began, we were told it was.

I sat down to wait and decided to simply ask God for a window seat. “Would you save one for me, Father?”

Once on the plane, I slowly made my way down the aisle, looking right and left for God’s gift — but every seat was taken. Then all of a sudden, half way toward the back, I spotted an empty window seat. Two college-age girls occupied the aisle and center seats, but the window was empty.

“Is that one taken?” I said, pointing.

“No, but that’s only for someone willing to open the emergency door. You don’t want to sit there.”

“Actually, I do,” I said.

“But… I don’t think you heard me.” She said. “You would have to open that big door.”

Thinking I must look weaker than I felt, I said, “I’ll chance it.”

The two girls glanced at each other but stood to let me in.

Emergency ExitAfter smiling at them, I sat down, chuckling just loud enough for God to hear. He was probably chuckling too. After buckling my belt, I studied the exit door. It looked complicated, but I knew the safety folder in my seat pocket would explain.

Just as I found the instructions, a flight attendant leaned into our row. “Ma’m.” she said. “Please look up here.” She meant me.

“Ma’m, I think you’re unaware that you’re in a seat linked to an emergency exit door.”

“Yes,” I said. “I know,” holding up the folder. “See? I’m studying how to do it.”

Emergency folder“But would you be able to?” she said. I nodded with confidence, but she looked doubtful.

“Well….” she said, pausing for effect, “I’ll need your verbal affirmation.”

“I can handle it.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

 

She shook her head and moved on while I memorized steps 1-2-3 of door-opening technique, trying to set aside my own doubts.

Just then one of the two robust girls sitting next to me pulled out her own copy of the emergency folder…. and I knew she wasn’t planning to rely on any old lady in the event of an emergency. So I put my folder away and didn’t give it another thought.

Our flight passed without incident, and I appreciated not having to nap with my head hanging and bobbing. What I enjoyed even more than my window seat, though, was my private little chuckle with a generous heavenly Father.

“The living God… gives us richly all things to enjoy.” (1 Timothy 6:17)

Girlfriend-Love

1980'sRecently I returned from a fun-filled 4 days in Phoenix with 2 friends I met decades ago. Sue, Gaye, and I began our three-way-friendship in a school parking lot as moms of same-age sons and daughters. But our kids weren’t our strongest bond, because almost immediately we learned we were also sisters-in-Christ.

As friendships grew, we began meeting to pray regularly for our children, supporting each other through thick and thin. Over time the kids grew up and left home – and so did we. Sue and Don moved to Colorado, Gaye and Bob to Arizona, and Nate and I to Michigan. Though the three of us continued praying long distance, visits became rare.

2018A week ago, though, after a decade of separation, we finally got together again, this time in Phoenix. The highlight for all of us was as it always had been – a group prayer time.

Our 3 families that originally numbered 18 have become 52, so there was lots to cover. But God listened just as carefully as he always had, and we have confidence that he’s still a God of action. Though some of our requests haven’t yet been answered despite years of prayer, we were able to share praise reports with him, too.

One of my favorite parts about praying aloud with friends is being able to listen in on someone else’s conversation with God – about our loved ones. This is especially encouraging in relation to those long-term requests.

When a new voice tackles an old issue, the words come alive with fresh meaning. A sister-in-Christ might pray different scriptural promises over a stagnant situation, asking God to move in ways her friends might not have thought to ask. And as she pours her heart out about one of “ours,” it’s an affirmation of girlfriend-love.

Although prayer isn’t tangible, it is eternal. After all, it’s just conversation with the Lord. Also, since Scripture says Jesus prays for us (Luke 22:32) and the Holy Spirit is interpreting our prayers for God (Romans 8:26), it’s likely that the citizens of paradise are continuing in prayer, too. Unlike us, though, their requests go directly to a visible God.

Mary & NateI believe my husband Nate and sister Mary are talking to Jesus about those of us still on earth, requesting glorious blessings from the God who never runs out of them. (Deuteronomy 28:12)

After 4 days together, Sue, Gaye, and I came too quickly to our goodbyes, but it wasn’t sad. That’s because we’ll still be praying over the same requests, figuratively meeting in God’s throne room “together.” And no matter the miles between us, that will always be true.

“In every situation…. present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)