Category Archives: Life of Jesus

Nelson’s journal 3/11/22    

Posted on by

Nelson defines “aggrandizement” and wonders, through his keyboard, how self-aggrandizement might be factoring into his life.

                                            <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

March 11, 2022   

I finally got around to filling out the survey for Jimmy’s internship at church. I was asked to rate this one: “Willingness to live as a servant without pursuit of personal aggrandizement.”

Aggrandizement: to increase the power, status, or wealth of…myself.

That’s actually a biblical axiom taught by Jesus in Matthew 6 and 7 about money and other things that can corrupt a person’s character. Jimmy’s school actually rates a person based on that.

When I look into my own heart and think about how I see money and the choices I make trying to go after a career, I have to at least check myself on that one. Does that describe me? I have to admit that personal aggrandizement is a motivator some of the time. Interesting to think about.

Luke 12:16: ”And (Jesus) told them this parable: The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.’

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

It’s almost like the guy was given the “abundant harvest” as a test. What would he do with it? He asked himself this question. We have his answer. And we have God’s response to this man. “You fool!”

What do I do when God rewards my work? What does it mean to be rich toward God?

Henri Nowen talks about traveling with nothing but the clothes on your back like a monk, so that you are truly reliant on God. Then he can use circumstances to steer your path, instead of us relying on our wealth and power.

We are waiting on Annso to give birth to our little baby boy. Mom is here. Ralph and Astrid (Ann Sophie’s parents) are not. Waiting is not that hard as long as I know everything is ok in there. It’s hard not to let the horror stories creep you out a little, when there is delay. The enemy works havoc on you in the waiting.

                         <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

“If riches increase, set not your heart on them.” (Psalm 62:10)

Nelson’s journal 2/23/22

Posted on by

As Nelson journals, he often gains new insights by working things out through the keyboard on his laptop. Today he’s pondering the difference between physical blindness and spiritual blindness. And in thinking about seeing, he’s also learning something special about hearing.

                                     <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

February 23, 2022

We had a leader named Christiphe speak at the KC (Kokua Crew)meeting last night. Pretty charismatic guy, catered to the youth, said he was a pastor for 7 years. Stayed within the time frame, which is rare. Most go way over what I tell them. We’re halfway through the week with Sharon and their gang (from their home church in Tennessee). It’s super busy, starts early and finishes late.

Been reading John and now in chapter 9 about the man receiving sight. Site to the blind. Jesus did that a fair amount. One of the ailments of humanity, blindness. It’s a fear people have, it’s a pretty severe handicap if you have it.

Papa (Nelson’s dad) was always worried about eyes and taking care of them. The guy in John 9 was born blind. Sometimes it doesn’t tell how it happened. Of course the story is about spiritual blindness and the kangaroo trial the Pharisees had, to try and find out who healed the man and how it happened.

They hated Jesus. He was giving the people sight, causing them to see and giving them power be making them healthy. Some leaders wanted the people sick and run down so it was easier to oppress them. Why? Just the power it gave them. What an evil thing.

They suffered from blindness too, blinded by intoxication with power. Is blindness a sin? Seems more like a symptom, amounting to a lack of vision. It’s obvious that a blind person doesn’t have vision. John 9:38:

“Then the man said, ‘Lord, I believe,’ and he worshiped him. Jesus said, ‘For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.’ Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, ‘What? Are we blind too?’ Jesus said, ‘If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains’.”

Seems vision is something we are accountable for. If we don’t see and do the wrong thing, it’s not wrong, but if we do, or even claim to see and do wrong, we are guilty.

Lord, I pray for vision. So many things can affect our vision. What am I guided by? What am I getting security from?

The love of money is one thing that can blind people and cause them to make wrong choices. Bob told me he heard the pastor at Living Stones say that life is like Monopoly. At the end of the game, all the money is put back in the box and the box goes back on the shelf. Why would we be greedy with what we’ve been given then? Spiritual blindness maybe?

Lord, take spiritual blindness away from us. Amen.

Took the guys in small group to the prayer room after the flags tonight to hear God’s voice together. The usual stuff, but I’m shocked how much God wants to speak to us if we give him the time. We would all be so much better off if we just spent that time with God.

Just making the time is 99% of the battle. But the “desire for other things” usually wins out. It’s been better for me though, lately. I’m thankful for the life we have, for Annso mainly, for the BBC team we are hosting this week, for Sharon and the connection we have with each other, for good connections with people here, so that we have each other.

                                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<                                                                                   

”The listening ear and the seeing eye, the Lord has made them both.” (Proverbs 20:12)“

A Better Day

Posted on by

The good thing about a bad day is that the next one is bound to be better.

Yesterday was rough, and it didn’t end at bedtime. Nelson’s vomiting continued through the night and into the morning, a vomiting like we’d never seen before—violent and ongoing for many minutes at a time. It seemed like he would pass out at any second.

This morning as the vomiting continued along with overwhelming coughing and choking, Ann Sophie and I didn’t know what to do. His pain was “off the charts” (his words), so we contacted his medical team. The first one to respond said, “Take him to the ER.”

And so back we went for our 3rd visit there in 2½ weeks. As we got in the car, we prayed, crying out to God to rescue Nelson—from vomiting, from coughing, choking, severe abdominal and lung pain, and inadequate breathing. Thankfully the ER was empty, and we went right in.

Several nurses and a doctor quickly focused on each problem in turn. Within an hour Nelson was breathing easier because of receiving oxygen, and his count had gone from 88 to 95. His pain was being treated with fentanyl and the vomiting with anti-nausea meds. And best of all was when Ativan diminished his panic about not being able to breathe.

Finally he fell into a sound sleep, which made me cry as I watched him. He hasn’t slept well in many weeks, some nights not at all. And always sitting straight up.

By 4:00 PM, the staff had decided to admit Nelson to the hospital for at least 24 hours to investigate the vomiting, a sky-high white blood cell count, and severe constipation from pain meds.

By 5:30 Nelson was being strapped in for his first-ever ride in an ambulance. This time he went to a different hospital, landing on a floor with only cancer patients. When he arrived, the staff said, “We are your people. We are already working with all the doctors you’ve been with so far, and we’re familiar with your medical situation.” It felt a little like coming home.

After they delivered all of Nelson’s meds along with an extra blanket, he  ordered dinner (an omelette, fruit and coffee), a welcome sight after not eating anything since yesterday’s nausea had begun. But today’s greatest delight was that we had cried out to God in the car, asking him to rescue Nelson, and he did.

Though his cancer and all the harm it’s doing remains, we were encouraged to hear that this week systemic treatment will begin. And our hope is that it won’t include vomiting.

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him. I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him…” (Psalm 91:14-15)