Yearly Archives: 2013

On the Increase

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Doubting.Everyone struggles with doubt once in a while. In terms of spiritual doubts, I have a hunch God welcomes them, wanting us to ask whatever questions we have. When Jesus’ good friend Thomas doubted him, he didn’t show a shred of disapproval but lovingly went about dispelling his doubts.

My most frequent doubt-struggles happen in two areas: doubts about God, and about myself. I doubt God when he doesn’t come through as I thought he would, and I doubt myself when I’ve stepped out in faith and the promised results aren’t yet evident.

The simplistic answer for both dilemmas is to have greater faith. But how? By watching God come through, and by believing before I see results, the two places I doubt most. Sounds like a classic conundrum.

Scripture has a solution though. It details one more way to increase in faith and dissipate doubt: “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” (Romans 10:17) So, what is faith-building about that? Isn’t it true that every time we read the Bible we’re hearing it?

Hearing the WordOur Nelson spent several of his adult years living in Nashville, Tennessee, and four of his siblings lived with him during different periods of time. The year Klaus was there, he and Nelson decided to act on the above verse from Romans. They began each day with a visit to the local Starbucks where they opened a Bible and read verses out loud with a desire to increase in faith. Reading Scripture aloud became a stepping stone to a better hearing of God’s Word.

In another example, three of our children spent 9 months each in an intensive YWAM Bible study program devoting 70 hours a week to concentrated examination of all 66 books. As they approached each new book, their first assignment was to read the whole thing out loud. This was no small task when it came to complicated Leviticus or lengthy Psalms. But reading aloud was a way to improve on hearing the Word of God, building faith in the process.

As we read silently, words bypass voice and ears and go straight from page to brain. It makes sense, then, that using a voice adds one more layer of impact to the message. Even in my prayer group as we pray verses over people, another woman’s verbalization of a passage, even a very familiar one, causes me to hear it better than if I was just reading it myself. I hear with my mind but also my heart and soul, which puts fresh oomph behind the words.

Doubt and FaithGod’s Word is keenly important to him, which is why he’s protected it through thousands of years. To read it aloud surely pleases him.

And it might also increase my faith.

“Joshua said to the children of Israel, ‘Come here, and hear the words of the Lord your God. By this you shall know that the living God is among you’.” (Joshua 3:9-10)

Positive or Negative?

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On the floorI’ve been spending lots of time on the floor lately, since much of Emerald’s world is down there. Walking past her without dipping into her play-zone for a minute is nearly impossible, which is how I end up on the floor.

Today my eyes fell on a piece of white paper sticking out of a book on the low shelf behind her. Pulling it out, I recognized it as a list of Nate’s positive character qualities. I’d written it toward the end of the summer of 2009, shortly before we learned of his deadly cancer.

I can’t recall what prompted me to make the list, though I’d written similar ones at other times, wanting to appreciate my husband in fresh ways. But the interesting thing about this list was that the right hand side of the page had been torn off, and I couldn’t remember why.

Had there been a few negative characteristics written on that side? Had I felt guilty afterwards, removing that part?

Character traitsUnable to remember, I wondered what possibly could have been the value of writing down a loved one’s negatives? The only reason I can think of is to prove how few negatives there were next to a long list of positives. No matter what had been on that right side, I was glad it was no longer there.

I don’t think I ever showed the list of positives to Nate, but I wish I had. What an opportunity it would have been to build him up and express my love. I can just see us seated at dinner discussing the latest life challenges. Then I could have said, “I want to show you something.”

While his mind was still spinning with unnumbered stresses, I could have pulled out my “Positives” list and said, “This is a description of how I see you, and no matter what happens, this is how I’ll always see you.” I can picture him studying the list, surprised and delighted, after which his spirits would have been lifted and his courage strengthened.

Dad used to quote a poem about expressing verbal appreciation to the ones we love:

If you’ve anything good to say of a man,
Don’t wait till he’s laid to rest.
For an epitaph spoken when hearts are broken
Is an empty thing at best.

Today, since I can’t give the list to Nate, I gave it to the Lord, thanking him for how Nate’s positive character qualities blessed me every single day. After that, I put it back into the book on the floor-level shelf, to find again another day.

“May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation — the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ — for this will bring much glory and praise to God.” (Philippians 1:11)

As I see it…

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When the parents of my grandchildren text me the unusual comments their little ones make, it’s total entertainment. Their creative thinking is often “way out there,” but we get a wide-open window into what’s on their minds.

Simply Micah.This weekend Linnea wrote from Florida about what was on the mind of 3-year-old Micah:

“We were all cuddled up on the bed reading the Children’s Bible, the story of Jesus raising the little girl back to life. We were talking about how powerful Jesus is and that God is the only one who can do miracles. Micah looked up at me with a big smile and sweetly said, ‘Mommy, I want to be God’.”

Although Linnea began laughing, Micah was ready with his reason: “I just want to be in charge of everything.”

Linnea wrote, “He was very matter-of-fact about it, with his big blue eyes and freckly face.” The only thing she could do was accept his honesty at face value. He hadn’t made his assertion with a shred of pride or greed, just 3-year-old logic. Who wouldn’t want to have all the power and do all the miracles?

The sad truth is, 3-year-olds aren’t the only ones who want to be God, because oftentimes adults do, too. We wouldn’t come right out and say it like Micah did or even think it like that, but whenever we choose our own way over God’s, that’s what’s behind it.

Sometimes in our efforts to develop a spiritual side or to live biblically, we give ourselves credit for not wanting to be God, picturing ourselves bowed low in front of him, submitted and humbled. But then we turn and leave his presence with a passion to “do our own thing.” Suddenly we’ve put our agenda atop his, and there we are, playing God again.

The fact that we even have “our own thing” at all puts us in opposition to the Lord. “Our thing” ought only to be whatever “his thing” is for us, even though it may take a lifetime of roping ourselves in before we can fully cooperate with that.

DreamingThe more we learn about God, the greater the discrepancy between who he is and who we are. There’s no comparison, and it does a world of good for our relationship with him, if we remind ourselves of that now and then. Though 3-year-old Micah still innocently dreams of wanting to be God, my 68-year-old self just better not.

“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things which have not been done, saying, ‘My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure’.” (Isaiah 46:9-10)