Mary finished well.

The last few days have been rough – but not on Mary. Our much-loved wife, mom, sister, and grandma has slept away the days and nights in complete comfort, the recipient of endless loving care by her husband Bervin and grown children, Luke, Julia, Karl, Andrew, Jo, Stina, and Marta.

Mary, a nurse since 1966, was thrilled when two of her daughters, Julia and Stina, became nurses, too. And they were never more challenged than in recent days as they faithfully, diligently met their mom’s every physical need. They jumped into action with every chime of their phone alarms, around the clock – administering different drugs at different times, rolling Mary’s sleeping body every few hours to prevent bed sores, keeping her clean on a schedule, changing bed sheets, regulating the temperature in her room. Whatever was needed, they eagerly did it. As Julia said, “She never let us do anything for her, always wanting to do for us instead. So it’s very satisfying to help her now.”

love-in-actionThe rest of us took turns sitting with Mary, enjoying her company as she slept. Knowing she might be hearing us even while unconscious, we read her many greeting cards, recited her favorite Scriptures, sang hymns for her, and talked to her freely. Bervin reminisced with her during their nights together and never entered or left the room without stroking her arm or caressing her face with his hand. Her cheeks and forehead were regularly covered with his kisses.

This afternoon I was sitting on the bed next to her, legs under the covers next to hers, leaning up against the headboard as she soundly slept. Computer hymns were playing quietly in the background as I held her hand and described the pictures on different greeting cards and read their messages. I looked up any Scriptures that were mentioned and read them to her, too. She continued to take about 8 breaths per minute as she had for the past 24 hours.

After reading all the cards, I set them aside and picked up her well-marked Bible, opening to the Psalms. Suddenly I thought I heard a quiet noise come from Mary’s mouth. It was not a moan, not a groan, nothing negative. It sounded like “Ahhh” going from high pitch to low.

I scooched down in the bed right next to her, putting my ear in front of her open mouth and heard a second one. “Ahhh.” And then a third and fourth. That’s when I jumped out of the bed and raced to find the others.

But only Luke was there, in the kitchen. “Come quick. Your mom is making some funny noises, and I’m not sure what’s happening.”

We raced back to the bedroom together, and he too put his ear by her mouth, hearing another “Ahhh.”

He dashed from the room and out the front door to get Bervin, who was cutting the lawn. (A few minutes earlier he’d wondered aloud if he should leave Mary long enough to do that, and since she’d been stable, we had encouraged him to go.)

I put my ear back near Mary’s mouth and she was still “talking.”

“Ahhh.”

She hadn’t moved during this time – not a flutter of the eye or a twitch of the brow.

Bervin rushed in with Luke right behind him, and bent over Mary’s face as she “spoke” one final “Ahhh” to him. It sounded like she was making a wonderful discovery or experiencing a deep satisfaction like, “Ahhh… I understand now!”

Then she grew completely quiet. No more breaths. No more sounds. And we three stared intently at her face, holding our breath as we waited for hers. And surprising us all, she simply closed her mouth…. as if to say, “That’s all.”

Bervin released her to go to heaven and then covered her face with a loving mix of kisses and tears as Mary flew into the presence of Jesus.

Their other adult children were, for the first time in two weeks, a distance from the house. Mary had repeatedly told all of us, back when she was still talking, “Why are you guys hanging around here? It’s a beautiful day. Go to the beach!” She said it again and again as she rested in bed, but no one felt like going.

img_4053Today, though, they’d finally decided to walk down there together, since Mary’s breathing hadn’t changed since the day before. And as Mary made her exit from the earth, they were all looking over the soothing, bright blue waters of Lake Michigan, talking about their mom.

That’s when Luke’s text told them to quickly hurry home, and they raced back in a group, gathering around Mary’s bed to absorb the startling news that she was gone. We stood in a circle of love all the way around her, unrolling paper towels to mop up tears and blow noses. Bervin began to sing, in a wobbly but confident voice, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in his wonderful face….”

And I joined in… “And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.” We all realized this was exactly Mary’s new reality. Her eyes were on Jesus, and she was looking into his wonderful face. Awesome!

img_4147If there is such a thing as a perfect death, this was it. And Mary had finished well. Very well.

“We are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8, NLT)

Where are you?

Although traveling has its perks, arriving home is best of all. But there’s one thing that trumps even that: greeting those we love when they’re coming home to us.

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Recently I’ve had the joy of making several trips to the airport to collect Birgitta, Emerald, Nelson, Linnea, and baby Nelson (5 months) as they arrived from a variety of places on different days.

Airport connection.Each time while waiting, I scanned the mob of unfamiliar faces, squinting to find those special ones I knew and loved.

And each time, suddenly there they were, emerging from the crowd – my people.

I wonder if that’s how it’ll be when we travel from earth to heaven. None of us knows exactly what that will be like, but leaving familiarity and entering this new realm surely must include at least one nano-second of searching for the face of Jesus.

Scripture tells us that as soon as our souls leave our bodies, those of us who believe in him will be with him. But how will we know which one is him?

Long ago when I was 8 or 9 years old, I remember asking Mom that very question. It was bedtime, and she was kneeling next to me after having prayed. “What does Jesus look like?” I said, having tried to envision him as we talked to him.

“Well,” she said, “he was Jewish, and the Bible says he didn’t have any special look that made him stand out from the crowd. My guess is he had dark hair, brown eyes, and a beard as most men did then. And that’s about all I know.”

Later she read a verse to me from Isaiah: “He… had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.” (53:2)

As a child I found that fascinating, because others in the Bible had been given good looks. For instance, King Saul was “as handsome a young man as could be found anywhere in Israel.” (1 Samuel 9:2) But Jesus, who could have created his own body and face to be exceptional in every way, chose instead to make himself plain – nothing special to look at in either form or beauty. So, I wondered, how would I recognize him among the heavenly crowd?

Today I’m still wondering. The marks of crucifixion won’t identify him, because many others died that way and will have similar scars.

Airport connectionSo I thought of all my recent trips to the airport. Maybe recognizing Jesus will be much like recognizing my loved ones in a crowd. I know them well enough to identify them anywhere. Maybe as I continue to know Jesus better, I’ll recognize him easily when the time comes.

But even if that doesn’t happen, 1 John 3:2 says, “We know that when Christ appears… we shall see him as he is.” So, just as when I spot my people at the airport, seeing them as they are, I might recognize Jesus the same way.

And if all else fails, I’m confident he knows what I look like, so maybe if he notices my confusion, he’ll simply call out my name and wave me over.

“I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)

Royal Purple

The other day I was making a PBJ (peanut butter & jelly) sandwich for Emerald while she watched. As I spread the grape jelly she said, “MeeMee, the J is so glamorous. It’s purple!”

Princess Snow WhiteI’d never thought of jelly as glamorous, but I understood. Unlike the drab-beige of the PB, the J really had it – rich color and sparkling shine.

Emerald loves glamour. Princess dresses, sparkling crowns, glittering fingernails. But maybe she’s not the only one.

In thinking about what attracts our attention, it’s often the most glamorous things that grab us – the brightly colored, the shiny, the sparkling. It’s the fanciest cars. The flashiest vacations. The showiest homes. The biggest jewels. The designer clothes.

This might even be true when it comes to people. Are we enamored with glamour? Do we name-drop in our conversations? “I spotted that celebrity at a supermarket once and actually talked to her.” Or, “I got that famous person’s signature in my copy of his book.”

We might spend time reading about the rich and famous, secretly wishing we could be like them. Or maybe we complain that we don’t have all the “stuff” we need or enough money to buy it. So how do we keep ourselves in check?

One way is to view these things as God does – especially when it comes to sizing-up people. He definitely sees individuals differently than we see each other. His Word says, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35)

This is a quote directly from Jesus, and when he said it, he was trying to teach his disciples the difference between the world’s version of greatness and his. They didn’t understand it at the time, but that didn’t bother Jesus. He stuck with his statement.

Bottom line? The most “glamorous” on earth might not be as sparkly in heaven.

IMG_1060That’s even true of sandwiches. After all, the drab-looking PB actually wins in a contest of nutrition, but the oh-so-glamorous J?

Last place.

“Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” (Matthew 19:30)