It wasn’t easy.

Some men go through life without having children, and some have only boys. In both cases, they’ve been spared one of life’s more difficult moments. They’ll never have to “give away” a daughter on her wedding day.

Nate and LinneaLittle girls idolize their daddies. That’s the way it should be, since Daddy is their first reference for what God is like. In a best-case scenario, fathers evidence God-like characteristics toward their daughters: patience, kindness, love, goodness. If a daughter grows up in a relationship with this kind of daddy, it’s easy for her to later relate to God as her loving heavenly Father.

Most fathers are fiercely protective of their daughters. Heaven help the person who intentionally harms them! This is what’s behind a father’s mistrust of adolescent boys who come calling during the dating years. Fathers see themselves as earth’s best security force for their little girls, no matter how big they get.

Margaret and her DadThen comes the greatest of all fatherly challenges, a daughter’s wedding day. Even if a man approves of his potential son-in-law, that walk down a church aisle to place his daughter’s hand in that of a young man can weaken even the strongest knees.

I remember my own wedding-walk down the long aisle of Moody Church. Clutching my dad’s arm gave me a sense of security, and I knew if I got wobbly, he’d stabilize me. But what was he thinking? I never asked.

Linnea and Nate

I did ask Nate, though, about his similar experience. He walked our Linnea down the aisle wearing an expression that said, “This is hard!” When we talked about it later, he said, “It was much harder than I thought it would be.”

And that’s the way it is for fathers who love their daughters.

But even in cases of poor fathering, no one needs to be without a perfect Father. God invites us to be his children, an offer that didn’t come without a “giving away.” Unlike earthly fathers who give away their daughters on a happy wedding day, God gave away his Son to an awful fate, a wrenching death he didn’t deserve. There is no greater sacrifice. Surely that day was excruciating for the Father, and yet he followed through.

Today we are able to reap the benefits of being children of that perfect Father. He is devoted beyond human capability and will never make the wrong call on our behalf. And if we wobble, he will stabilize us.

Although I was eager to have Dad give me away on my wedding day, I don’t ever want God to give me away. And happily, he has promised he never will.

“To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

Believing the Truth

Yesterday while grocery shopping, I bought a box of succulent strawberries. They were bright red, plump and had deep green “mustaches” that weren’t too big. Tonight, after thinking about those berries all day, I fixed myself a generous bowl-full.

StrawberriesAs I cut them up, I wondered how they could travel 1300 miles from sunny Florida to chilly Michigan and look like they’d been picked an hour ago. And then I took a bite. The berries were sour and tasteless, nothing like what they appeared to be. Even a spoonful of sugar didn’t make them go down very well.

It comes naturally to trust in what we see. Eating sour strawberries has no moral consequence, but the principle of believing that everything we see is reliably true can have devastating results. So how do we know what to do?

We need a measuring stick by which to evaluate the choices we make. I think of Nate and his fatal cancer. Although his health declined radically each day, he never once panicked over his approaching death. He was nervous about his escalating pain but made the choice not to question God’s plan for his life, and death.

Confidence in the TruthI find this extraordinary, but his peaceful demeanor wasn’t just an accident. It was the byproduct of a belief in the truth. He put his terminal prognosis next to the measuring rod of what God said, which was that he’d still be alive after he died physically, and that life would be good.

In Scripture there’s a the famous conversation between Jesus and Pilate shortly before Jesus was killed. Pilate, trying to figure out what the Jewish leaders were so upset about, sought clarification from Jesus:

 

Pilate: Are you the king of the Jews?Jesus with Pilate
Jesus: Is that what you think?
Pilate: I can’t think like a Jew.
Jesus: My kingdom is not of this world.
Pilate: So you are a king, then?
Jesus: I was born to testify to the truth.
Pilate: But what is truth?

Just when Pilate was about to get the critical answer, he terminated the conversation, giving the order to kill Jesus. If Pilate had been listening to Jesus’ teachings during preceding months, he would have heard him say, “I am… the truth.” (John 14:6)

And that’s where the buck stops. Right at Jesus. Nate believed in something, in someone, he couldn’t see, and that knowledge of unshakeable truth gave him a peace unexplainable by human standards. It wasn’t, “Maybe I’ll be ok after I die,” or “I sure hope I’ll be ok.” It was, “I know for sure I’ll be ok.”

Listening to Jesus and living according to biblical truth isn’t easy and almost always goes contrary to our natural instincts, but if we ­­­do it, the end-result will be even sweeter than a bowl of perfect strawberries.

“Jesus answered, ‘Everyone on the side of truth listens to me’.” (John 18:37)

Stony Obstacles

The incredible details of Easter are still floating around in my head today. Each year there’s much to think about, because familiar Scriptures have the ability to make us notice one thing one year and another thing the next.

Women to the tombThis year our pastor mentioned something I’d never thought about, despite hundreds of readings through the Easter story. Jesus apparently rose from his dead state some time before sun-up that Sunday morning, leaving his tomb shortly thereafter. But three women who had dearly loved him began walking to the cemetery/garden “just after sunrise,” carrying costly spices and perfumes to anoint his badly battered body.

As they got closer, they began discussing a possible obstacle to their mission: would they find anyone to roll the large stone away from the entrance? Though they didn’t have an answer, they kept going.

As I sat in church on Easter, I wondered about the rest of us. We all come up against obstacles as we try to get to Jesus. But are we as forward-moving and determined as these women? Or do we say, “I know this obstacle is too big for me to move, and I don’t see anyone else available to move it, so I guess I can’t make it to Jesus.”

Last weekend I thought of the many obstacles Jesus encountered on his walk toward the cross, beginning with his intense discouragement in the Garden of Gethsemane just before being arrested. His enemy, Satan, was working overtime to derail the plan of salvation. And Satan still works daily to keep us from that plan and the Lord who established it.

As we walk toward Jesus, the devil puts obstacles in front of us to hold us back, just as the heavy stone sealing Jesus’ tomb would have kept the women away. In our Mary’s case, cancer is the obstacle, and the tempter is hoping she’ll be unable to get close enough to Jesus to maintain her strong testimony of his sufficiency. Since she’s made her faith public and it is encouraging many to walk toward Jesus, he is anxious to discredit her. It’s possible her agonizing decision about chemotherapy was made all the more difficult by this enemy of all Christians. He’d rather isolate her in defeat.

The three women in Scripture didn’t let the obstacle of an immovable stone stop them from proceeding toward Jesus anyway, and Mary hasn’t let cancer keep her from him, either. Actually, she’s been walking toward him with more resolve than ever, tough decisions and all.

Empty TombSalome, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and our Mary are all fine examples of what to do when obstacles come between us and the Lord: trust him to figure out how to move them out of the way.

“They saw that the stone had been rolled away, although it was extremely large.” (Mark 16:4)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Praise for a good meeting with Rush Hospital oncologist today
  2. Praise that weight was up a couple of pounds on the hospital scale
  3. Praise for friends who’ve signed up for the Pancreatic 5K Walk
  4. Continued request for clarity on where in Chicago to have chemo