December 18, 1969
Nate and I were so enamored with the fun of being married that we’d hardly noticed it was the Christmas season. With just a week before the big day, we had lots to do – coming up with Christmas gifts for both of our families, with very little money. What we came up with instead, though, was our very first disagreement.
When I came home after a day at school and unlocked the apartment door, Nate wasn’t there. This was unusual, but I attributed it to extra library time before Christmas break and got busy doing other things.
When I heard his key in the lock, I turned toward the door and was surprised to see him wrestling with a giant Christmas tree – 8 feet tall!
“Oh my word!” I said. “What’s this?”
He responded with a broad smile while he did his best to get the tree upright for my approval. “It wouldn’t be Christmas without a big tree!” he said.
That’s when I burst into tears. Puzzled by this strange response, he leaned the tree against the wall and rushed toward me, trying to understand.
“What’s wrong?” he said, running his hands up and down my arms in an effort to bring comfort.
“You did it without me!” I sobbed, looking at the floor.
Still wondering why this would be upsetting, he bent his knees so he could look straight in my eyes and said, “I just thought it would save you time and trouble. That’s what my mother always said when she told Dad to pick up a tree – that she didn’t have time.”
“But that’s not how we’re supposed to do it,” I said. “Choosing a Christmas tree is a family thing, and you did it without me.”
“I’m so sorry,” Nate said, though he hadn’t done anything wrong. “It never crossed my mind you’d want to come along. You know, Meg, I would never do anything to purposely hurt you.”
And then, trying to undo his mistake, he turned toward the tree. “I’m gonna take it right back.”
By now I understood it was simply a difference in the way we were raised, not a Christmas tradition he’d taken away from me. Suddenly returning a Christmas tree seemed pretty funny…. and I giggled.
“Really,” I said, “it’s a beautiful tree, and it’ll make our apartment look very Christmas-y. I don’t want you to take it back.” I had to admit he’d picked a good one. Without much in our living room, it was no problem finding space for it. But we had nothing to decorate it with. That’s when Nate got an idea.
“After supper,” he said, feeling relieved the crisis had passed, “let’s go to the mall and each buy one ornament. We can do this every year, and gradually we’ll fill up a whole Christmas tree. It can become our first Christmas tradition – or maybe I should say our second. The first one will be to always buy the tree together.”
I loved his idea, especially the part about starting our own tradition.
“Maybe tonight we can buy one string of lights, too,” I said. “And have hot chocolate while we decorate the tree…. and sing Christmas carols.”
“Of course!” he said, breaking into a rousing chorus of “Deck the Halls” ….very much off key. Nevertheless, it sounded wonderful to me!
“All of you, have a tender heart and a humble mind.” (1 Peter 3:8)