Monthly Archives: October 2014

Thank you.

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Those of us who started attending church when we were on the cradle roll are happy to talk about God. We’re usually faithful to pray, and we’re even comfortable with praying out loud if asked. After all, Jesus became our childhood friend as we met him through flannel-graph stories in Sunday school. Talking to him was much like talking to any of our other friends.

FlannelgraphThen we grew older and learned there was more to it than that. We realized God wasn’t on a par with any of our other friends but was unique, superior, someone who merited reverence and awe, and the utmost of respect.

Eventually we were taught that to fear the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and surely approaching God ought to be done as wisely as possible. Did that mean he wanted us to be afraid of him when we prayed? If so, then why did he tell us to “come as little children” and “come boldly to the throne of grace?” Can we come to him that way if we’re afraid?

At the very least, fearing God probably means respecting his authority and power. He’s the ultimate in both categories and can do anything he wants with anything he’s created, which includes us. If we’re on his bad side, he is to be feared indeed, since he will judge all of mankind. He also wants us to revere him as God of gods, holy and perfect.

While I was contemplating what might be the wisest way to approach the Lord, probably making it more complicated than it needed to be, I heard someone pray a wise prayer. Sandy was asked to pray at the conclusion of our women’s Bible study today. We’d had a discussion about true wisdom and fearing God. If I’d been the one praying, I probably would have started by begging God to give us more wisdom, but not Sandy.

ThankfulnessShe started by thanking God for who he is and continued to list reasons all of us were thankful for him. The middle of her prayer was more gratitude, one thing after another, and she concluded with a final series of thank you’s. Her prayer was all about the Lord and nothing about us.

How unusual, I thought, to pray for several minutes without ever asking for anything. It was simply thank you… thank you… thank you.

And it was wise.

“The Lord said… ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so’.” (Deuteronomy 4:10)

Life is for the Living

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photo(1)On Monday of this week Mary endured her last chemo in a series 18 infusions stretching from early-May to mid-October. She is, as she says, “Glad to be done.” Here are her thoughts on this life-altering experience:

When I first learned I had pancreatic cancer last February, I thought I’d be long gone by summer. But here I am, having benefited from a delightful summer and now enjoying the beauty of fall. One thing cancer has taught me is how to fully live in-the-now. God has made hundreds of promises to us, but none guarantees a specific length of days, and though I vaguely knew that before my cancer, now I really get it. Letting go of my future has made me very grateful for today.

Some cancer patients say they feel like a walking time bomb. Others talk about a dark cloud hanging over their heads. My intention is to reject those negatives and find my identity in Christ rather than in cancer statistics or medical opinions.

In my case, surgery and chemo bought me some time, and time is precious. But none of the doctors can say I’m cured, nor have they given me a hope for that. As a matter of fact, the word they’ve used to describe my cancer is “vicious.” So I’m not in denial but am hoping to live somewhere between the extremes of denial and despair. I’m pretty sure that’s where God wants me to be.

Life is for the living, and I want to live each day well. As a result of my cancer, I’m holding tightly to four important principles that I knew before my diagnosis but have experienced in new ways since then. They’ll benefit me for the rest of my life, however long that is:

  1. God’s promises are powerful and true.
  2. God answers prayers.
  3. God provides exactly the strength and endurance needed.
  4. The community of believers is important.

Spending too much time alone isn’t good for any of us, and I’ve learned that the best kind of company is that of encouraging Christians who find their hope in the Lord. If I trust only in myself, my frame of mind quickly spirals downward.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 1:18: I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. I’m thankful God considers me one of his “holy people” and that my inheritance is a glorious one.

Though I should continue making plans, I need to hold them lightly, remembering that life is a series of letting-go’s…. of the calendar, of our possessions, and of our favorite people. Cancer forced me to consider these things up close, and I’m thankful for that.

So, whatever happens from now on, I’m certain God won’t let me die till he says it’s time. And that’s good enough for me.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (Psalm 61:2)

Inner Promptings

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Back when I was “eliminating and concentrating” my possessions, I needed to find new homes for over 50 pieces of decorative glass. The neighborhood consignment shop, a charity outlet, and willing friends factored into placing these items, but one piece went someplace special.

Glass purseA glass purse I loved [like this picture but in cobalt blue] was about 6″ high and had clear glass handles. At our local bank, one of the tellers collected glass handbags and shared them with the rest of us by arranging them along the bank’s customer counter.

I wondered if she’d like my cobalt purse and decided to take it on my next visit to the bank. I stuffed the glass purse into my leather one but then had second thoughts. “What if her collection was given by a mother or grandmother and was based in sentimentality? What if she didn’t want any more purses? What if she said, ‘No thanks’? What if she wasn’t at work that day?”

But after tiring of my negative back-and-forth, I decided to ditch my worries and give it to her, even if it turned out badly. Waiting at her teller station surrounded by pretty purses, I felt funny. Others were standing behind me, watching. When she finally came, I nudged my glass purse toward her and sheepishly said, “Is there room for one more?”

She gasped with delight and clapped her hands together, then threw them both in the air. Picking it up carefully as if it were an injured baby bird she said, “Oh my goodness! It’s absolutely gorgeous! Really? Oh my word! Thank you!”

On and on she lavished praise on my little offering and on me, and I felt like a kindergartener who’d just become student of the week. Walking to the car I thought back to my negative self-talk and felt ashamed. How silly to have worried over her reaction.

Mary reminded me later of a quote from George Sweeting: “Never suppress a generous impulse.” I like that, because it’s a clean-cut way to make a quick decision without the stress of second-guessing.

So what was behind my wishy-washy self-talk? The answer can only be pride. I was nervous about what she (and others) would think of me. I was afraid of being embarrassed or rejected. And I wanted to be approved of, as a gift-giver.

God clearly states the dangers of prideful thinking:

  • Pride leads to disgrace…
  • Pride leads to conflict…
  • Pride is followed by destruction…
  • Pride ends in humiliation…

When I returned to the bank the next time, I used the drive-thru. “My” teller was managing the vacuum tubes, and when she saw me, she thanked me again for the purse. By her kind response, she underscored Pastor Sweeting’s excellent advice: never suppress a generous impulse.

(Above: Proverbs 11:2, 13:10, 16:18, 29:23, New Living Translation)

Tomorrow: Celebrating the end of chemo, by Mary