Life is for the Living

photo(1)On Monday of this week Mary endured her last chemo in a series 18 infusions stretching from early-May to mid-October. She is, as she says, “Glad to be done.” Here are her thoughts on this life-altering experience:

When I first learned I had pancreatic cancer last February, I thought I’d be long gone by summer. But here I am, having benefited from a delightful summer and now enjoying the beauty of fall. One thing cancer has taught me is how to fully live in-the-now. God has made hundreds of promises to us, but none guarantees a specific length of days, and though I vaguely knew that before my cancer, now I really get it. Letting go of my future has made me very grateful for today.

Some cancer patients say they feel like a walking time bomb. Others talk about a dark cloud hanging over their heads. My intention is to reject those negatives and find my identity in Christ rather than in cancer statistics or medical opinions.

In my case, surgery and chemo bought me some time, and time is precious. But none of the doctors can say I’m cured, nor have they given me a hope for that. As a matter of fact, the word they’ve used to describe my cancer is “vicious.” So I’m not in denial but am hoping to live somewhere between the extremes of denial and despair. I’m pretty sure that’s where God wants me to be.

Life is for the living, and I want to live each day well. As a result of my cancer, I’m holding tightly to four important principles that I knew before my diagnosis but have experienced in new ways since then. They’ll benefit me for the rest of my life, however long that is:

  1. God’s promises are powerful and true.
  2. God answers prayers.
  3. God provides exactly the strength and endurance needed.
  4. The community of believers is important.

Spending too much time alone isn’t good for any of us, and I’ve learned that the best kind of company is that of encouraging Christians who find their hope in the Lord. If I trust only in myself, my frame of mind quickly spirals downward.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 1:18: I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. I’m thankful God considers me one of his “holy people” and that my inheritance is a glorious one.

Though I should continue making plans, I need to hold them lightly, remembering that life is a series of letting-go’s…. of the calendar, of our possessions, and of our favorite people. Cancer forced me to consider these things up close, and I’m thankful for that.

So, whatever happens from now on, I’m certain God won’t let me die till he says it’s time. And that’s good enough for me.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (Psalm 61:2)

17 thoughts on “Life is for the Living

  1. Thank you, Mary, for your words of what God has taught you — and for your life of applying God’s truth.

  2. Thank you Mary, Praise The Lord for His loving kindness! So proud of you for finishing the chemo treatments so well, God is Good!

  3. How wonderful for you to have that behind you, Mary! A best friend of mine is three years out from her journey with pancreatic cancer. She is working, taking care of her grandkids, and doing really well! She credits prayer and God’s grace for her recovery. I wish the same for you!

  4. To Mary-
    He has walked with you through the valley of the shadow of death. And now may He lead you up and out, and may goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life.
    Thank you for your determination to make God honoring choices through this whole time- it has been an example to all of us keeping up with your treatment and progress.
    Love,
    Terry

  5. Thank you for your update, Mary. Your faith in the Lord and His promises is such an encouragement! Stew and I have come to appreciate Margaret’s blogposts very much and a number of widows in a Bible study I lead have been greatly blessed by “Hope for an Aching Heart!”

  6. Dear Mary(and Margaret for putting it all together), This latest reading really should go viral; best explanation that I have ever heard involving a Christian. The Cathedrals use to sing: ” Many Things About Tomorrow I Don’t Seem To Understand But I Know Who Holds Tomorrow And I Know Who Holds My Hand “! Blessings. Jim and Pearl( in rehab)

  7. Mary, So glad to hear you’re done with the chemo. Your picture is lovely and we praise God with you for bringing you thus far and for your wonderful testimony.

  8. Mary, Mary, quite The Lady,
    You do so well, you know.
    With Christ in your Life,
    And Health in your Soul,
    It’s a Guarantee to us,
    That you’re on a roll !! <3

  9. Mary, how thankful I am that this time of chemo with all of it’s trials is behind you. I continue to pray for you and all your family as you move forward –holding onto life,living in the moment, and in constant connection with Christ. Your message is a blessing to me and I’m sure to many others. Your words-“Holding lightly to plans….Holding tightly to promises ” are ones that I will treasure.
    Thank you for allowing Margaret to share your journey, you are both very special to allow others to be a part of your very personal and intense struggles. Blessings, Judi

  10. Mary, Thank you for the wonderful Christian witness you have been to me through all of this.You’ve been in my daily prayers and your Bethany Beach friends here (Margene, Eileen P. etc) all share with me. God is faithful ! And thank you, Margaret,(I feel as if I know you a bit !) for your wonderful encouraging , comforting and challenging blogs. The prayers shall continue, Mary and Berv. Love

  11. So very happy for you,Mary, that the chemo has done it’s job, and you no longer have to go there. what a witness you are for the Lord, and Margaret too. I will continue to pray for you and the family, and may this be the beginning of ‘the best part of your journey’. Enjoying your family with ‘new additions’. God bless and…..love that smile!

  12. Dear Mary,
    Thank you for your lovely thoughts. I echo Terry D’s message to you and Judi’s favorite quote from you.
    It is a joy to know and love you!
    Donna

  13. Dear Mary,
    Wow! The end of chemo is here! May the Lord restore you to good health. I know you are trusting in Him for whatever He has for you and that is truly inspiring and encouraging. He even allowed you to have most of your hair during chemo (judging from the picture)! He is so gracious to us even in small things like this. I love you Mary!
    In His love,
    Lillian

  14. God’s richest blessings upon you Mary!!! Bob and I are rejoicing with you and your family. Thank you for being vulnerable with all of us to share your story over these months. You have taught us well. We thank the Lord for His favor and loving kindness and see Him consistently getting the Glory in your life. It’s a privilege to get a window into His works. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

  15. Dear Mary,
    I’m so thankful for you, your continued example, and celebrate this milestone of your completed chemo course. You show the rest of us what VICTORY looks like.
    “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
    Continued prayers for complete healing and abiding confidence in His strength and goodness.