Monthly Archives: April 2014

Good Choices

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???????????????????????????????Today I had several builders visit my Michigan home at different times. After conversations with each of them about a back yard deck I have in my imagination, they all promised exact estimates by the middle of next week. Listening to them describe their individual takes on the sketch I made, I realized there are as many ways to approach deck-building as people willing to build them. But it’s always a good idea to get a second or even a third opinion.

Mary and Bervin have had to go through that process too, with her diagnosis, surgery and treatment for cancer. Wisdom dictated getting several opinions, weighing the differences, and making a well-informed choice. Scripture says there is safety in a multitude of counselors, but of course it matters who we choose to advise us.

7th HeavenThe same is true of our spiritual choices. Of the many gods available to follow these days, which one should we choose? I remember an old TV episode on a show called “7th Heaven.” It was the story of a protestant pastor, his wife, and 7 children.

One episode dealt with the subject of being unkind to others and the “guilt-gut” that inevitably followed. The problem, then, was how to get rid of it. During the show, two of the younger children went on a search for the answer, visiting clergy members representing several “isms”: Buddhism, Judaism, and Catholicism. They were collecting opinions, first, second, and third. Their quest was for relief from guilt, wanting to substitute peace instead. Each religion suggested something different.

Their quest was representative of the spiritual choices all of us have to make. God created us with consciences, and when we do something that produces “guilt-gut,” we want to straighten it out a.s.a.p. But where do we go for a first, second, or third opinion? Do we honestly seek truth, or do we look for advisers who will agree with the point of view we already have?

Mary and Bervin sought the experts and chose well. Committing to Minnesota open-endedly wasn’t an easy choice, but it was the right one. (They’ll actually be driving back there again this weekend for additional tests and a chemotherapy plan.)

As for my deck (a choice that’s trivial compared to the decisions Mary and Bervin have had to make), I hope I choose well. Concerning spiritual choices, the best Counselor is the Holy Spirit, who will lead us to the one true God. It’s the only decision we’ll ever make where no second or third opinion will be needed.

And BTW, this one true God is the only one who can effectively remove “guilt-gut.”

“Since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.” (Romans 5:1)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Praise for one pound gained!
  2. For continued weight gain
  3. For the Lord to guard her heart and mind during the night when fears sneak in
  4. Praise for a beautiful weather-day and time spent sitting out in the sun

 

 

Flashlight or Floodlight?

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Mary is a natural cheerleader. She encourages others in their pursuits and celebrates their successes with them. I remember how much her cheering meant to me when I began blogging years ago. Despite my uncertainty of both the process and my ability, she urged me forward and became a faithful reader.

Tonight, based on last night’s blog about her future uncertainties, I’m posting her favorite of the 1374 posts on this site. She often quotes from this one, because the principle cited is a guiding light straight from Scripture. It was written on 9/3/09:

JackWhen our dog Jack and I take our late night walk through the neighborhood, tree-lined streets can be inky black. I always grab a flashlight, because without it, we’d walk into parked cars and yard fences trying to find our way.

Most of our flashlights are the dollar store variety. Their circle of light is small and often inadequate, although a little light is better than none. Then there’s the heavy flashlight with the powerful halogen bulb. When I carry that one, I feel guilty for producing a swath of light that spills into the privacy of people’s living rooms. It’s a floodlight in a tube.

Last night when Jack and I walked, my cheap flashlight was flickering with weak batteries, casting only a faint yellow glow in front of us. This was irritating since my light would only shine as far as the next spot my foot would land on and no further.

Scripture gives us a word picture of this exact situation. “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105) When walking along life’s path, I crave a peek down the road, into my future, preferring a floodlight to a flashlight or a lamp.

But God is the only one who can see all the way down the road. Because of that, it seems sensible to leave the darkness and uncertainty of what’s ahead, up to him. He’ll light it up when we need to see it. Meanwhile, he hands us the lamp of his Word. He says, “One step is enough for now. Walk into that circle of light in front of you, and let me worry about what’s ahead in the dark.”

Digital StillCameraLast night Jack offered the perfect example of why we ought to take God’s advice on this. He stepped in front of my flashlight’s beam, which suddenly cast his own black shadow directly in front of him. He startled, jumped to the side and searched for the dark villain he’d just seen, but the shadow had disappeared. The walk goes better if he stays behind the light and follows where it leads.

And I guess that’s good advice for the rest of us, too.

“Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” (Psalm 139:12)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. To patiently follow God’s light into an unseen future
  2. To gain weight; praise for the first taste of meat since March 16!
  3. Praise for a good day with visits from two prayer partners

Ha and Bah

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A little waveThis little girl adores her Auntie Mary, who was at the hospital the day she was born. One of the first words Emerald learned to say was “bye.” It came out with a southern accent (“bah”) and 4 months later, it still does. She accompanies every farewell with a swivel-wrist wave (see photo) and says bah for all manner of partings. Like when a piece of paper gets thrown into the trash, or when the refrigerator’s contents disappear as the door closes. She says bah to cars that pass and yesterday at the playground, as the wind blew dried leaves past her, she waved and bah-ed each and every one.

Emerald also says hi, which comes out “ha”. She gets the general drift of coming and going, which word to say when, but has no awareness of the passing of time or when the next greeting or parting will be. We adults have learned that hellos and goodbyes aren’t always arranged as we’d like them.

When Mary first announced her pancreatic cancer, she and the rest of us immediately jumped to the conclusion that our finals goodbyes were almost on top of us. Thankfully, we were wrong and have said lots of hellos since then. At Mayo Clinic we said our goodbyes before her surgery, just in case, but again were grateful to say hello directly afterwards.

Any cancer diagnosis gives new importance to goodbyes and hellos, though not necessarily in a negative way. Instead it prompts an awareness that life is fragile, and every day is a gift. Nothing is taken for granted or assumed. Instead, whatever time we have is viewed as unexpected and highly appreciated. A “normal” day like Mary had today, doing laundry and buying groceries, is viewed as a tremendous blessing.

Mary admits to battling fear over her uncertain future. Where will the hellos and goodbyes be placed on her life’s timeline? It might be better just to go with the “ha’s” and the “bah’s” of the moment like Emerald does, unaware of time passing and therefore not stressed about what the days ahead might bring.

Coming and GoingAnd just as Emerald watches her mommy for signals of when to start waving ha or bah, Mary and the rest of us can watch our heavenly Father for his tip-offs as to which message we should wave when, trying to be content to do it either way.

“Be content with such things as you have, for he himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’.” (Hebrews 13:5)

 

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Pray for weight gain, that nutrients would be absorbed
  2. Pray that she will take one day at a time and not fear the unknown future
  3. Praise for connecting with several others on tube feedings who have leftover food to give away. (It’s like liquid gold!)
  4. Praise for a day doing “normal” things like laundry