Hoping for Happiness

???????????????????????????????Every young girl dreams of one day doing and wearing everything they see adult women doing and wearing in front of them. The other day I came around the corner and found Emerald happily fingering my stash of bracelets and broaches. She knew just what to do with each item, having watched the rest of us.

When Emerald gets a bit older, her biggest fashion fantasy will be to one day choose a wedding gown and be a bride. It’s the grandest of mysteries to a young girl, tantamount to becoming a princess. The more elaborate the gown, the greater the aspiration.

Surrounded by childrenAt every wedding celebration the bride will eventually end up encircled by young girls wanting to touch her dress, peek through her veil, and receive her blessing. They aren’t that interested in the groom, simply because his outfit can’t possibly compare.

Of course as time passes, a little girl grows up and becomes intensely interested in one specific groom, someone she can walk down the aisle to meet while wearing her fairy-tale finery adorned with pearls, or sparkles, or lace.

IMG_3880Today Mary and her daughter Stina had the delight of turning away from cancer concerns and moving into the magical world of shopping for a wedding gown. Stina has something very specific in mind, and she didn’t find it today, but continuing the hunt is half the fun. (See sample try-on at right.) The shopping trip held special meaning for Mary, who fully intends to be present on that important day some months down the road. Several weeks ago, she wasn’t so sure, but today, hope is alive and strong.

Scripture uses a bridal metaphor repeatedly:

  • the church as a bride readying herself for her groom, Jesus Christ;
  • the covering of salvation paralleling beautiful bridal clothes;
  • God rejoicing over us as a bridegroom does over his bride;
  • the New Heaven prepared for us as a bride prepares to meet her groom;
  • a bride receiving her groom’s perfect love, mirroring how Christ loves us;
  • the feasting at a bridal banquet in the New Heaven.

Earthly marriage is meant to be a mini-version of the relationship Jesus wants to have with believers, a microcosm of successful unconditional love. Every bride and groom hope for that kind of bond, and Stina and Evan are no exception. Because God is the Originator of marriage and is himself love personified, their best bet will be to use him as their marriage consultant all the way along. If they do, he’ll see to it that their hope for a happy union will not be disappointed.

Meanwhile, Stina and the women closest to her will continue on a happy hunt for the perfect wedding gown.

“I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like…. a bride with her jewels.” (Isaiah 61:10)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for God providing periods of rest and joy between times of stress and physical challenge
  2. Praise for 3 good Chicago hospital choices
  3. Pray for continued discernment on choosing which one
  4. Praise for today… another good day!

Eager Expectations

???????????????????????????????Last week I took 18 month old Emerald to the beach, and though she’d been there last year as a baby, this time everything was new again. She experimented with different size shovels, enjoyed the toys we’d brought, and worked hard to stay upright on a steep dune. Best of all, though, was touching the sand.

She spent at least 15 minutes picking up fistfuls and rubbing it between her fingers, feeling its texture, watching it fall. Every so often she’d squeal, bubbling over with joy over this new experience.

This morning while reading from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest, God showed me how Emerald’s behavior at the beach paralleled what is supposed to be our experience as Christians. When she stands up in her crib each morning, Emerald has no idea what her day will bring, and it doesn’t bother her in the least. She has no expectations and approaches each day with eagerness.

Chambers wrote, “We do not know what each day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation.”

???????????????????????????????His point? No matter what uncertainties we feel, we can be certain of God. “He packs our life with surprises,” Chambers said. And this is where Emerald comes in. He referred to Matthew 18:3 (“Except you… become as little children”) when he wrote, “Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God but uncertain of what he is going to do next.” Emerald isn’t uncertain of Birgitta and her capable leadership, protection, and love. She just has no idea what it will look like on any given day.

We adults, however, often find that kind of certainty-in-God difficult to cultivate. It’s much easier to “sigh with sadness” when we can’t at least partially predict the future. This is the frustration Mary was experiencing when she couldn’t decide for or against chemotherapy. And it’s similar now as she approaches treatment. Will the side- effects be debilitating? Will I be able to participate in regular life? Will I lose my hair? Will the chemo kill the cancer? Will it add years to my life?

It seems incongruous to label cancer or chemotherapy “a life-surprise” since a surprise is usually good. But that’s how God wants us to see them.

???????????????????????????????If we’ve entrusted our lives to his care the way Emerald entrusts herself to Birgitta, we don’t need to know the specifics of what’s ahead.

As Chambers wrote, “When we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.”

Joyful uncertainty. Sounds like an oxymoron, but the Lord wants us to joyfully believe the certain things about him, and just let the rest go.

“The plans I have for you,” says the Lord “are plans for good and not for disaster.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a weight gain of 5 pounds!
  2. Pray for the decision about chemo location, which will probably be made on Wednesday
  3. Praise for good sleep at night

Just say it.

Sleepytime IsaacToday Linnea, baby Isaac, and I drove the 90 minutes from SW Michigan to Chicago’s Midway Airport. Sadly, it was time to see them off after a visit that went by way too fast and was far too short. But 3 excited children were waiting in Florida after 5 days that seemed far too long without their mommy and little brother, not to mention one eagerly waiting husband.

Helping Linnea into the airport with her baby, luggage, carry-on, and stroller, I was glad we could enjoy a few extra minutes together in line for a boarding pass. Suddenly a woman walked up to me from the side, touched my arm and said, “That color blue looks really good on you!”

The color blue.I looked at her, a traveler pulling her carry-on bag, wanting to do nothing more than uplift me. She smiled when I thanked her, and as she and her bag rolled away, she nodded as if to say, “Really… I mean it.”

Looking at Linnea with raised eyebrows I said, “Wow. That was really nice!”

I’m ashamed to say I probably wouldn’t have done the same for a stranger in similar circumstances, not wanting “to intrude” or make a person “feel uncomfortable.” But the woman’s compliment felt good, certainly not intrusive or uncomfortable.

I’ve often chided myself for thinking positive thoughts about someone but failing to get them out of my mouth. Pastor George Sweeting used to say, “Never suppress a generous impulse,” but passing up an opportunity to speak approving words is exactly that.

When Nate was struggling with his cancer, it slowly dawned on us he wasn’t going to live through it. As soon as we figured that out, we could effortlessly voice words of admiration and love, messages that probably wouldn’t have come out so readily or powerfully, had we both been healthy.

Modeling.Now I see the same thing happening with Mary and those of us who are “satellite-ing” around her in her cancer fight. This can be counted as something positive emerging from all the negatives.

It’s also a strong nudge to get us delivering words of praise to others, whether healthy or sick, whenever we think them. Our words carry great power and can accomplish some really good things, not just in others but in us, too. Maybe that’s one of the reasons God instructs us to adore and praise him with words.

It’s been 12 hours since the airport lady spoke to me, but I’m still thinking about it. And if given a choice, the next time I go shopping for clothes, I’ll be scanning the racks for blue.

“Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary:

  1. Pray for tomorrow’s meeting with the 3rd hospital about chemo, and for sensitivity to the Spirit’s leading in the decision
  2. Praise for praying people who are still at it!
  3. Praise for 2 months worth of cards, notes, and packages arriving daily (“The milk of human kindness is flowing!”)