Monthly Archives: April 2014

Walking and Running

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Once in a while we hear this statement: “We’ll give a donation to your favorite charity.” I’ve always been intrigued by that, wondering if everyone actually has a favorite charity. If we don’t, maybe we should.

???????????????????????????????When our Aunt Agnes died (here being worshiped by our dog Toby), her will actually listed 17 favorite charities, with her estate divided accordingly. She was a practical example of generosity, but the importance of her big-heartedness didn’t end there. All giving brings pleasure to God, and hers surely did. But he isn’t necessarily looking for 17 favorite charities or even for big gifts. After all, he highlighted “the widow’s mite” in Scripture as a stunning example of good giving.

I think his main point was the woman’s attitude. Despite having little, she still gave. A question for all of us then is, how happily do we separate ourselves from the effort, money, or time we consider to be “ours”?

From personal experience I know this can be a lesson that resists learning, but if we’re stingy, maybe our hearts aren’t in a right place with God. If we give easily and joyfully, we know God is pleased. We also get the fun of “more blessed to give than receive.”

Cancer bandRecently I’ve become acquainted with an organization that exists to “advance research, support patients, and create hope for those affected by pancreatic cancer.” Although I’ve known about this group and others since Nate died of pancreatic in 2009, I’ve never done anything to help. It took Mary’s diagnosis, piled atop my husband’s, to motivate me.

Her children took the initiative, urging our extended family to sign up for an April 26th 5K walk/run in Chicago that’s all about pancreatic cancer. Though my last “race” was probably in the 1950’s, I’m good-to-go for this one, at least the family-friendly walking part.

Mary and Bervin’s home church (Moody) did some organizing, too, and put together a team of runners/walkers with a fabulous name: “Marchers for Mary.” Mary said, “I’d like to be there in some form or fashion. We’ll see. It continues to astound me the way people are giving and sharing, all because of my cancer. I just can’t get over it.”

Maybe this isn’t so much about “a favorite charity” as about Mary being our “favorite pancreatic cancer patient” right now. And even if she doesn’t feel up to the 5K walk, her testimony of God’s sufficiency through this life-and-death crisis is really the greater gift.

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Mary’s Prayer Requests 

  1. For a sign from God to know which hospital/medical team to use for chemotherapy
  2. Mary requests that she “soak up” the powerful reality of the Easter story this weekend
  3. Praise she was able to return to the church ministry “Mom to Mom” this morning and do her part
  4. Praise for encouragement from the 5K team, “Marchers for Mary”

New Hair

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???????????????????????????????Back in the 1960’s, I bought myself some fake hair. Junior year in college was an especially busy time, and the long “falls” that were popular then (think ponytails) moved hairdos away from high-maintenance curlers to insta-ready coiffures.

The “tails” could be worn long or curled around the top of the head for up-do’s. Many a morning I washed just my bangs, added the fake hair and went from wake-up alarm to classroom in 10 minutes flat.

???????????????????????????????As a newlywed I expanded my hair inventory with a pixie-style wig, a tight, cap-like affair that shortened my prep time even further.

Wigs can be a time-saving tool or, as in Mary’s case, a weapon against letting cancer dominate. Veterans of cancer are familiar with the radical ups and downs of treatment, its physical symptoms and its emotions. Mary has sampled some of that this week, feeling hopeless on Monday but hopeful on Tuesday.

Monday afternoon, in the middle of that deep low, she and Bervin walked into a wig shop near Mayo Clinic.  It’s a place that doesn’t  just sell wigs. The staff there provides gentle expertise and conversational comfort to each customer, well aware that none of them want to be there.

Though Mary had planned ahead of time to shop that afternoon, Monday wasn’t the right day for it. As she put it, “I couldn’t even look at the wigs without crying. The whole thing overwhelmed me, and we had to leave.”

Getting startedTuesday, however, was a different story. After the medical encouragement they’d received at the clinic, Mary wrote about “Wig Shopping, Part II.” “I praise the Lord I was able to put on a skullcap today and try on wigs. As I sat in the styling chair and listened to the Christian music playing, I was reminded of God’s presence being everywhere, even in a wig shop!”

We Christians don’t doubt God’s statement that he will always be with us. He said he’d never leave us, and we believe him. But after a down-day like Mary’s Monday, he knows we need a fresh reminder. And he brought it to Mary in the form of worship music just as she was muscling through a new and unwelcome experience. Our Creator has all kinds of ways to let us know he’s close at hand, and his timing is always spectacular.

Bervin's choiceMary and Bervin walked out of the wig shop with “new hair” for Mary, should she need it during her chemo. She said, “I let Bervin pick it out, and it’s pretty fluffy. I’ll definitely have ‘big hair’!”

The Lord said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14)

 

 

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. For wisdom to know which Chicago hospital to use for chemo
  2. For improvement in food absorption that will lead to weight gain
  3. Praise for a good blood test result today, indicating no metastasis
  4. Praise for safe travel back and forth to Minnesota

Making Plans

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Checking the listMary has always been well organized. She’s on top of her calendar, and despite having her “fingers in a lot of pies” (as they say), she’s never made a sticky mess of any of them. Her lists are drawn up well in advance, and she enjoys checking them off. She creates practical plans and isn’t forgetful, never the type to say, “I forgot what I came in this room to get.”

That’s why her cancer journey has been so frustrating. She can’t plan. She had no warning that yesterday would be the draining day it was, which made its impact all the greater. But she also didn’t know how much brighter today would be.

The nationally famous, very busy Dr. Truty was part of this day at Mayo’s, meeting with Mary and Bervin for a post-op analysis and progress report. All the news was good, and he declared her Whipple surgery a complete success. She is healing well, and the feeding tube, no longer an irritant, is doing its job.

IMG_3581But Dr. Truty didn’t stop there. To quote Mary’s text: “He really helped us put things in perspective. He agreed that pancreatic cancer is aggressive, but said from everything he’s seen so far, we shouldn’t look at it as hopeless.”

And it was as if a window opened and spring breezes blew winter’s darkness right out. As for Mary’s decision about whether or not to choose chemotherapy, the doctor helped with that, too. She wrote, “He thinks with chemo I can look forward to good days and probably years. He’s a positive guy for sure!”

So she has decided chemo is in her near future and has committed to the doctor’s aggressive treatment program. She also said that since she won’t have to start for another week or so, she’ll get to celebrate Easter while still feeling pretty good. She said, “The Lord knew I needed that. It’s a gift, and an answer to prayer.”

After Easter, Mary and Bervin will put her list-making to valuable use as they meet with oncologists at three Chicago hospitals. They’ll get to choose where she’ll receive her treatments over the next 6 months, and Dr. Truty made some practical recommendations, persuading them it was ok to transfer their medical trust to a facility other than Mayo Clinic.

When Mary and Bervin set out for Rochester this last weekend, Mary had one of her lists with her, this one with four “to-do’s” on it: (1) meet with the oncologists, (2) meet with Dr. Truty, (3) decide yes or no on chemo, and (4) depending on her decision, maybe buy a wig. As they drove back to Chicago today, she had the satisfaction of checking off all four.

And tomorrow we’ll hear the up-and-down story of what it was like to shop for new hair.

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” (Proverbs 21:5)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Pray for God’s choice of a Chicago hospital/doctor to administer chemo
  2. Pray that both Bervin and Mary will keep their eyes off pancreatic cancer and on Jesus
  3. Praise for being able to get a wig today