Yearly Archives: 2013

Voicing It

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Back in 1959 when I was about to enter high school, the academic pressure was intense. Over 4000 students were enrolled at New Trier that year, and the school had been voted #1 in the nation for academic excellence. Many of the students went out East to Ivy League universities after graduating, and 98% of all New Trier students went to college somewhere. Facing my freshman year, I knew the going might get rough.

New TrierMy parents decided to send me to summer school before I began the regular school year, in an attempt to give me a leg up. “At least you’ll learn your way around the building,” they said. And since it was a really big school, that was enough motivation for me.

I took 3 classes that summer: ceramics, speech, and trampoline. Two of them went well, but speech? It was agony.

Getting up in front of the class was bad enough, but I also sensed the teacher didn’t like me. I remember him well, because he had an unusual name: Mr. Pink. After my first speech, I knew for sure he didn’t like me.

I was still standing in front of the class when he gave me his critique. “Margaret,” he said, “some of us were born with voices that are pleasant to listen to, and others not. Yours is not.” And then he told me to sit down.

Maybe his mind had wandered during my speech and he couldn’t think of anything else to say, but I was embarrassed by his comment and shocked to realize I had a bad voice. If I hadn’t been required to deliver several more speeches that summer, I wouldn’t have uttered another word.

What a difference between talking in front of Mr. Pink and talking in front of God. When I talk to God, he doesn’t stop with just hearing my voice but listens to my heart as well. I can even converse with him without using my vocal cords. He and I can talk heart-to-heart about absolutely anything, and he hears me perfectly. His only concern is that I just say something to him, whether I use my vocal cords or silent thoughts. When I do, he promises to hear it all.

At 14Later that summer I turned 14, and my parents’ birthday gift was a reel-to-reel tape recorder. I’d wanted one for a long time so I could record songs off the radio and also send taped messages to several faraway friends who had recorders.

But on the day I first listened to my own recorded voice, I discovered Mr. Pink had been right after all. I did have an unpleasant voice, and I didn’t like listening to it.

After that, I stopped worrying about his comment in speech class. And it certainly didn’t leave any scars, because I’ve been talking way too much ever since.

“The Lord does not listen to the wicked, but he hears the prayers of those who do right.” (Proverbs 15:29)

Laying Blame

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Every year I take a few plane trips and usually opt for non-stop flights. On one recent trip, however, my itinerary called for a stop, though I didn’t need to change planes. Just before landing, the flight attendant made an announcement:

“Since we’ll only be on the ground for 17 minutes, our advice for those continuing on with us is to stay on board. Remain seated until the others have de-planed, and then if you would, please move to the front of the plane while the clean-up crew works.”

Helpful pilotThe announcement applied to only 11 of us, and we did as asked. When our pilot emerged from the cockpit volunteering to help clean, we watched him move in and out of the rows picking up newspapers, candy wrappers, and empty water bottles.

In a few minutes he came back to the front where our little group was standing and said, “How many of you own Smart Phones?” Most of us did. “Would you be willing to hold them up for me?”

Smart PhonesWe all dug them out of purses and pockets, except for a young girl of about 12 or 13. After rummaging through her back pack, she said, “Mine’s gone! It’s gone!”

The captain then brought his hand forward with a Smart Phone in it. Before he could say anything, the girl grabbed the phone with a snarl and said, “You took my phone!”

A woman next to her touched her arm and said, “Oh, no, honey. He found your phone.”

How quick we are to lay blame. The minute the girl realized her phone was missing, her next thought was, “Someone took it!” When she saw it in the pilot’s hand, she connected the dots and assumed it was him.

We adults can be pretty quick to play the blame game, too. Humanly speaking, when hurtful things happen, our knee-jerk response is often, “Who’s responsible for this?” Sometimes we can (and even should) point a finger, but oftentimes we can’t.

But if we can’t satisfy our desire to blame someone we know, we can always blame God. Interestingly, he is sometimes the one behind the difficulties and disasters we experience, but rather than blaming him, we ought to give him credit.

That’s because whatever comes to us (good or bad) is intended for our spiritual growth. Instead of pointing fingers of blame, we ought to reach for him with arms wide open.

DesperationActually, we shouldn’t blame God for anything, but amazingly, he takes the blame anyway, not for anything he did but for all our bad. He died as a sinner in our place. Once we take that in, just like the young girl on that airplane, we’ll melt into a puddle of contrition. Instead of laying blaming, we’ll say the only appropriate thing: “How can I ever thank you enough?”

“People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed?” (Proverbs 19:3)

Used by God?

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All of us who’ve committed our lives to Christ are daily hoping for his approval. Although the world says we ought never to let ourselves be “used” by others, being “used” by God is a privilege. I know from experience that when I let him do what he wants with me, the results are always good. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Always.

As my friend Claudia says, “The Father has a way of taking our griefs and hurts and making them diamonds for the Church’s good.” Losing my husband to pancreatic cancer wasn’t “good.” But what God did, as that “bad” settled over me, was to quietly begin laying a foundation that would bring something good in due time.

I’ve been astonished watching him do this for me repeatedly since Nate died. For example, as I struggled to get used to my new widow-status, he urged me to write out my feelings, which ultimately became a devotional book for other widows. Then, when they read how God had stepped into the places Nate had stepped out of, those grieving without hope understood that God was going to bring them, too, out of sadness and into joy.

Revive Our Hearts.Later, God sent along speaking opportunities and radio interviews, giving me new places to “boast in the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 10:17) One set of interviews was with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for her radio broadcast “Revive Our Hearts,” and yesterday I received this exciting information from her office:

Coming up next week on “Revive Our Hearts” broadcast with Nancy Leigh DeMoss: “Hope for an Aching Heart,” with Margaret Nyman

Margaret says widowhood is a beginning. It’s an opportunity to walk with the Lord in new ways, taking on new challenges.

Sept. 16, 2013 – Sept. 20, 2013

On these scheduled airdates, the streaming, download, and podcast audio of this broadcast and a written transcript will appear on our radio page— www.ReviveOurHearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/.

On this page you will also find a list of local radio stations that carry the program in your area.

*                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *               *

This email was simultaneously thrilling and threatening. Since our recording sessions took place over a year ago, I’ve forgotten much of what was said in the 5 programs and today became very nervous. Did I contradict myself or say things that might offend listeners? Did I mix up the details or misquote my own book?

Radio interview

As stomach butterflies demoralized me, God tapped me on the shoulder. “Don’t forget,” he said, “these opportunities were my doing, not yours, so I’ll take full responsibility for the results.”

I had two quick responses:

  1. Whew!
  2. Can’t wait to see the results!

To win God’s approval, all we need to do is step squarely into whatever plans he makes for us (no matter how unnerving), expecting him to manage the unknowns. When we do, we’ll realize the highest of callings: to be “used” by him.

“I’m only concerned with your plans for me. I see the limits to everything human, but the horizons can’t contain your commands!” (Psalm 119:95-96, The Message)