Yearly Archives: 2013

Listen Up

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Last night I came across a hand-written page of information I hadn’t seen in years. It was a few brief notes taken on the back cover of a 5 x 7 spiral notebook. I recognized the data as my speed-scribbling during Nate’s doctor appointment in August of 2009, one month before we learned of his cancer.

Just wondering...Nate was scheduled for back surgery to relieve the pain of multiple herniated discs and needed a pre-op physical. Though his pancreatic cancer was advanced by then, we didn’t know anything about it, and except for his back pain, he felt fine going into the exam.

He’d lost 31 pounds in preceding weeks but had been trying to do so after breaking the 200 pound mark on the scale. By eating smaller portions and skipping desserts, he was approaching his goal and felt good about that. People were complimenting his weight loss.

Physical exam dataMy brief notes summarized the internist’s comments as he examined Nate:

  • BP – 142 over 98
  • Poor facial color
  • Weight – 178 (jeans on)
  • Fluid in left ear (no pain)
  • Wheezing in lungs
  • Lump under right arm (pit)
  • Lump over left collar bone
  • Blood in stool – recommends colonoscopy
  • Acid reflux – possibly an ulcer – blood

The doctor recommended a colonoscopy and endoscopy, promising to FAX the name and number of the correct office to us. And as Nate was being directed to radiology for a chest x-ray, the doctor said goodbye, telling us he’d call with blood test results in a few days.

That afternoon as we drove from Chicago back to Michigan, neither of us was worried. Sure, Nate’s blood pressure was higher than his usual 110/70, but we attributed that to his severe back pain, coupled with work stress. Besides, both of us had watched the doctor carefully, not sensing any apprehension on his part as he’d examined Nate.

In a few days, though, disturbing news began filtering back to us. “Your blood numbers seemed a bit off, so we’d like to do a few more tests.” Even that, however, didn’t bother us. “It’s probably nothing,” Nate said. He had lived 64 years with flawless health and had no personal doctor. Surely nothing was wrong.

It was a classic case of poor listening; we heard only what we wanted to hear.

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Physical stats aren’t the only things people mishear. Often we’re listening for information from God, but what we want to hear gets in the way of what he’s really saying. It’s difficult to sweep away the clutter of preconceived ideas and wishes, but if start there, we’ll gradually become better listeners.

The best way to accomplish that is to ask God to clear our minds of unnecessary information when we’re trying to hear him. He’s glad we’re listening and because of that, he’ll bless us with a clear focus.

And to our benefit, he’ll do that whether we’re listening to him, to a doctor, or to anyone else.

“Dear friend, listen well to My words; tune your ears to My voice…. Concentrate!” (Proverbs 4:20-21, The Message)

Hold on tight!

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Lovin' my bath!Most babies and toddlers love bath time. Even though it usually comes at the end of their day when they’re tired and cranky, being set into a warm, bubbly tub brings giggles and pleasure.

Maybe it’s the special toys that come out only then or the guaranteed presence of a parent’s full attention. What babies and toddlers don’t realize, however, is that the adults overseeing bath time usually enjoy it as much as they do. Birgitta and I look forward to Emerald’s bath like it’s a favorite TV show or an entertaining read.

This 10 month old baby is petite for her age, so her pink plastic baby tub worked for nearly 7 months. That made bath time easy for Birgitta, since she propped it in the kitchen sink and didn’t even have to bend over to bathe her. When Emerald outgrew that tub, she went directly into the kitchen sink, a small space of bubbly water she thought was designed especially for her.

Figuring it outEach evening Birgitta and I watch Emerald learn things that are ordinary to us but extraordinary to her -– like how to pop bubbles with her finger or suck on a wet wash cloth to get a drink. This week she’s learning that running water can’t be held in her hands.

We adults figured that out long ago, but have we realized how the same principle can be applied to grown-up issues? Our natural tendency is to hold onto what is precious to us, even when it’s in the process of slipping through our fingers: our spouses, our children, our youthful vigor, our homes, our health, our opinions, our safety. You name it, and we’ve tried to hang onto it.

But no matter how tightly we squeeze, though, these things gradually slip away anyhow, making us worry that one day there won’t be anything left to hold onto. Thankfully, God has a simple solution for that:

“Let go of everything but Me.”

Just when we feel like everybody and everything is disappearing like water through our fingers, at that very moment God gives us the exact directive we want to hear. “Hold on tight!” But what he means is…. to him.

If we’re willing to make him the only thing we cling to, he’ll turn around and take hold of us with a loving grip so strong it will never let us go. And in the process he’ll also fill our empty places with his airtight promises and sustaining strength.

Fascinating...So, our choice is to go through life’s transitions trying to grab what can’t be held (like Emerald’s flowing water), or we can let go of what isn’t ours to hold onto and hang onto what is: the Lord himself.

Jesus said, “No one can snatch [believers] away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.” (John 10:28-30)

Yuk!

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Pine-solI like to keep a neat house, but it’s not always clean-neat. Picking-up is easy compared to breaking out the Pine-sol, Windex, and Pledge. This last week, however, the kitchen took on a strange air that none of us could identify. It wasn’t exactly smelly, but something wasn’t quite right.

As the days passed, every so often we’d get a whiff of wierd, and finally, after a week, whatever it was began to reek. Birgitta, Louisa, and I opened every drawer and cabinet, leaning in for repeated sniffs, desperate to find the problem. Was it rotting food in the waste can? In the disposal? Under the stove? In the drain pipe?

None of those.

Although we kept hunting, we also lit scented candles and sprayed room deodorizer. Whatever it was, it continued to worsen until we were gagging and unable to eat anywhere near the kitchen. What in the world was it?

Today we found out.

Reaching into the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink, I twisted to the right to get a pair of rubber gloves hanging over the drain pipe when I saw it. Snuggled up next to the back of the Kitchen Aid mixer was a dead field mouse. At least I thought it was dead. He hadn’t moved as I’d rummaged around at close range, and the smell in the back of the cabinet was absolutely putrid.

So I did what any woman would do. I insta-backed out of the cabinet and slammed the door.

Later when I showed Louisa what I’d found, we marveled at how tiny the little mouse was and how big its stench. It reminded me of a tiny word that always brings big stink into our lives: sin.

Because the devil is very clever, he coaxes us toward evil in mini-bits. “A little won’t matter,” he says. “Besides, no one needs to know.” And for a time, that may be true. But as Scripture says, what we do on the Q.T. will eventually be spotlighted…. when its smell has grown so big it dominates us and disgusts those around us. Our best bet is to clean it out in its early stages, well before it begins to rot us.

Nite niteAs for our mouse, since I was the one who’d put De-con poison in the back of the cabinet, I was elected to take him out. Though he seemed dead and his odor confirmed it, I wondered if he would run up my sleeve when I tried to grab him. In the end, I double-bagged my hand, let out a long, loud yell, and picked him up. Sure enough, he was dead.

Not long after that, the comforting scent of Pine-sol filled the room, and our women-against-beast adventure was over. If only it was that easy to rid ourselves of sin.

“Dead flies [or mice] make the perfumer’s ointment give off a stench; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.” (Ecclesiastes 10:1)