Longing to Belong

When I was 3, my family moved from a close-knit Chicago neighborhood to “the country.” Today that “country” is just one of many Chicago area suburbs (Wilmette), but in 1948 it was still the wide open spaces.

Highcrest SchoolI wasn’t of school age yet, but my sister Mary was marched off to kindergarten at the small-ish country school a stone’s throw from our house. She was quiet and shy, not especially happy about being away from home, but Mom quickly became involved as the official Room Mother of her class, which helped. Mom was in and out of school on a regular basis (with me in tow), and I thought school was absolutely magical.

The kindergarten room fascinated me with its boxes of fat colored crayons, giant jars of sweet-smelling white paste, and wooden chairs that were just my size. Each student had use of a tiny square of carpet to sit on, and by secretly investigating the white chalk (crunch), I learned it was delicious.

Not ready for schoolWhen I pleaded with Mom to let me be a school-kid too, she always had the same frustrating answer. “When you’re ready.”

A year passed, and the next fall Mary went into 1st grade, but Mom still wouldn’t let me go. I thought I was more than ready, and since we lived just across a field from the school, it wasn’t long before I snuck over there on my own.

When I got to the kindergarten room, Mary’s former teacher recognized me and kindly asked if I wanted to sit on one of the carpet squares with the other children “before I went back home.” My dream had come true, though it was short-lived. In just a few minutes Mom was at the door.

All of us long to belong: to a classroom, a club, a family, a neighborhood, or any number of other groups. This longing is, I believe, put into us by God, since he values community and is an advocate of togetherness. So there’s nothing wrong with it.

At 3But longing to belong has its risks, too. It’s important to seek entrance into the right groups at the right time, letting God be the one to show us the which, the where, and especially the when. That includes everything from starting kindergarten to moving into a retirement home. It’s best if we wait till he has us ready.

There were many reasons why I couldn’t be a kindergartener at the age of 3, but eventually my time did come, and it happened just as Mom said: when I was ready.

Kindergarten(Front row, 4th from right)

Life will go much smoother if we wait for God’s readiness rather than push ahead of him on our own. It should always be his call, and in the mean time we should simply say, “I’m ready, Lord…. whenever you are.”

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” (Matthew 6:33  The Message)

When Chaos Comes

Mickey MouseA week ago while I  answered emails, baby Emerald jabbered happily behind me on the floor, playing with an old Mickey Mouse pop-up toy. All of a sudden there was a noisy crash much like breaking glass, followed by Emerald’s loud wail.

I spun around just in time to see hundreds of marbles scatter all over her and the floor, their glass container lying next to her. Marbles were skittering wall-to-wall and into two adjacent rooms, bouncing off baseboards and heating vents.

Not high enoughGrabbing Emerald to soothe her panic, I figured her reach had grown longer than I’d estimated, and she’d pulled the heavy jar off the shelf where it had been doubling as a bookend.

After putting her safely in her walker, I crawled around on hands and knees, scooping marbles back into the jar, finding some of them 20 feet away. I wanted to get every single one, since 9 month old babies who put everything into their mouths aren’t compatible with marbles.

Even after my diligent search that day, though, I’m still finding strays in distant corners, under bookshelves, behind table legs, and under upholstered chairs. Today I stepped on one (barefooted) in a closet.

ChaosAn explosion of chaos, whether it’s marbles or just a chaotic life event, usually includes a major clean-up effort. And often the ones mopping up aren’t the ones who made the mess. For example, Emerald wasn’t capable of picking up the marbles (of course), so I needed to do it. That minor mishap, though, was nothing compared to some of the turmoil life brings, along with the complicated aftermath.

But sometimes those of us who think we’re innocent in a messy situation, really aren’t. Did we neglect the preventive measures we should have put in place to make a disaster less likely? Could we have been more sensitive to a need behind a deed, helping someone ahead of time?

It takes two to tango and usually takes more than one to cause a catastrophe. If we uncap our halo polish insisting we’re without fault, we probably aren’t. In the case of our flying marbles, I should have been watching Emerald more closely. Turning a back on a busy baby is never smart.

It’s possible God lets chaos happen in order to get our full attention on a certain problem we haven’t been aware of. It might be his effective way to avoid something worse down the road. In other words, minor chaos now in exchange for absolute bedlam later.

Does that mean we ought to thank God when everything’s falling apart? The problematic but accurate answer is yes.

High enoughToday I’m thankful for flying marbles. It let me know Emerald can reach higher, pull harder, and hurt herself more seriously than I thought she could. And now I know. Our marbles have been relocated to the very top shelf.

“O God…. renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)

Character Counts

Last Friday the 91 year old mother of a friend died quietly after living a much-admired life, and her funeral tomorrow is sure to be a long one. That’s how it goes after a life has been well lived.

Elizabeth SchambachElizabeth Schambach worked hard this side of eternity, beginning by growing up amidst 13 siblings. After marrying at 19, she and her husband bought a farm in America’s heartland and raised 6 children of their own. Working for her family and on the farm through her 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s wasn’t easy, but she labored faithfully at the tasks given her, even after losing her husband at 58.

John’s early death hadn’t been part of the plan, and she was a widow  nearly as many years as she’d been a wife (39 married, 33 a widow). But God never stopped blessing this lady and made sure she wasn’t lonely. He enriched her life with 6 children-in-law, 23 grandchildren, 51 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great-grandchild!

Hands.And that wasn’t all. God had a gentle plan for Elizabeth’s exit from this world last week. She’d eaten dinner at the care facility where she lived and then had attended a festive hymn sing. Being a lover of music, she’d clapped her hands to the beat of the old songs she loved so much, and went off to bed that night with music in her heart.

But 90 minutes after Elizabeth had drifted to sleep, she was woken by the surprise of her life when she arrived into the presence of Jesus Christ himself! My guess is she picked up right where she’d left off at the hymn sing, clapping her hands and singing with joy!

Although Elizabeth Schambach had enough family members to fill a town hall, she’d never been a famous woman. She hadn’t run for political office, had never been on the cover of a magazine, didn’t compete in the Olympics, and wasn’t able to amass a fortune. But she did something far superior to any of that. She won God’s approval.

And she did it by living the life he intended her to live, in the not-so-easy circumstances in which he placed her, a life of impeccable character and satisfied contentment.

Interestingly, that’s what he’s looking for in all of us, because character counts big-time with God.

God's instruction bookLike Elizabeth, a person of honorable character won’t be swayed by popular opinion and won’t put stock in the latest fads. She won’t long for fortune or fame. Instead she’ll base her behavior on God’s instruction manual without trying to edit out the distasteful parts. And when the right decisions always end up being the hardest ones, she’ll make them anyway.

If Elizabeth was here, she could probably attest to all of that. But she might also want to add a line from an old hymn: “It will be worth it all, when I see Jesus.”

And now….  it is.

“A wife of noble character …. is worth far more than rubies. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:10)