Which is best?

Yellow leavesThis morning outside my bedroom window I saw the usual leafy-green canopy but something else caught my eye: a branch of bright yellow leaves. Like it or not, fall is coming. I’ve always been a summer girl, but I guess every season has its grandeur, and it’s wise to recognize that.

Lately I’ve been trying to do the same with the seasons of life, recognizing the positives of each stage. Most of us have to fight wanting to be in a season other than the one we’re in, starting with childhood. Which of us didn’t long to be one year older than we always were? The privileges and perks of older ages seemed like carrots in front of a horse, forever just out of reach.

One more birthdayAt the other end of years we wish we were young again, facing the future with what we’ve learned in the decades since. Mom used to say, “I’m a 25-year-old trapped in a 90 year old body.” If wishing made it so, she’d have “stuck” at 25.

Why is it so hard to find contentment where we are? The answer is in a great quote I read the other day: “We need to get rid of expectations that don’t fit into this season of life.” It’s all about accurate expectations.

When we’re 45 years old and (as Dad used to say) “running the rat race,” it’s logical our time will be tightly budgeted, we’ll be working long hours, and our commitments will be many. When we’re 85, we’ll have to figure out how to use all the extra time we have. Different seasons require different expectations.

Wise people plan ahead for seasonal changes by figuring out what realistic expectations they should have. Then they think and act accordingly.

All of us have seen people unwilling to admit which life season they belong to. The other day at the beach I saw a woman close to the end of her winter age-season. She was wearing a micro-bikini, and it was difficult not to stare. I wished I could have heard the logic behind her choice of swimwear, but surely it was somehow connected to false expectations.

Scripture has interesting examples of God’s instructions to people in different seasons of life. For example, in Numbers 8 he says, “Men twenty-five years old or more shall come to take part in the work at the tent of meeting, but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer. They may assist…. but they themselves must not do the work.” (vv. 24-26)

That wasn’t to say God’s plans for the 50 year olds weren’t good ones though. He was just stating that he expected different things from people in different seasons. It wasn’t about right or wrong, good or bad, superior or inferior but only about different expectations.

Hint of fallAs for those yellow leaves outside my window? They hint that a new season is about to arrive. And my expectation is that it’ll be beautiful.

“Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have.” (Ecclesiastes 6:9)

 

Is younger better?

Recently Mary and I talked about what it’s like to be in our late 60’s. Our bodies don’t work as well as they used to, and we’ve become acquainted with the medical world in new ways. When we were young it would have been logical to think ahead to the ages we are now and predict that this is the way it would be, but we avoided that long-distance look.

All of us have a tendency to think that the way things are today is how they’ll be tomorrow. Day-to-day it seems to be true, but decade-to-decade, age-related changes show themselves.

Robert Browning.Robert Browning wrote a poem with an oft-quoted opening that put a positive spin on growing old:

“Grow old along with me!                     The best is yet to be.”

As a young woman I thought this was a charming statement but also that it stretched the truth. How could old age be “the best?” Maybe Browning meant that if his loved one and he remained together through the geriatric years, life would be good, or at least as good as it could be with age-related troubles.Today, just for fun, I looked up Browning’s poem, and it turns out those first two lines are actually the “bottom line” idea of a 32 stanza piece, but it has very little to do with how good life is going to be in old age. He zeros in on some of the losses of advanced years, but also points out the foolishness of thinking youthful years are automatically the best ones, just because bodies are at their best.

Instead, Browning’s poem is all about the soul.

He beautifully points out that both young and old ought to put less emphasis on the physical and more on the spiritual, telling us to take “hold of God who gives…” He says that a “body at its best” can’t do anything to propel the soul into a satisfying eternity.

That second line in his poem (“the best is yet to be”) refers not to good experiences with a true love on earth but to companionship with God in life after death:

Robert BrowningGrow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

Browning is right. Spending too much time dwelling on physical losses only frustrates us. It’s better to focus on soul-gains, not just the glorious eternity awaiting us (whether we die old or young), but on the spiritual gains we can make by reading and thinking about Scripture, learning how to walk in God’s ways, and enduring struggles with patience and joy.

So the next time Mary and I talk about feeling old, we’ll try to remember, “A whole God planned; youth shows but half.”

“Young men and young women, old men and children. Let them all praise the name of the Lord.” (Psalm 148:12-13)

Poison and Panic

Spider pic 2Today while I was gone, Louisa, Birgitta, and Emerald endured a crisis. The baby had just woken up from her nap, and Birgitta was on the way to her favorite chair when she spotted a big spider on the upholstery. Screaming in panic, she tore up the stairs and hollered for Louisa to come and help.

When Louisa got a look at the large, menacing spider, she began screaming, too, which prompted Emerald to start in. They knew it would be difficult to kill such a big spider, so Louisa ran for a plastic container, a stiff card, and a book to put between her fingers and the spider.

IMG_3727She caged it in the container, but not before Birgitta clicked a picture. Then she slid the card beneath the spider as it darted about inside, and put the book beneath the card for safety. They carried it outside, walked a block down the street, and let it go.

Back home on the computer they became alarmed when “their” spider matched Google pictures of a brown recluse, a species with a killer venom. The brown recluse has been nicknamed “fiddleback” or “brown fiddler” because of its violin-shaped markings, which this spider did have. Though the brown recluse isn’t aggressive, if it’s pressed (as between clothing and skin), it’ll bite.

Researching further, the girls gasped over computer images of infected bites when spider venom had eaten away flesh, leaving freaky-looking, severe skin damage. People can actually die as a result.

When I arrived home after attending my prayer group, they were still upset and quickly spilled out their tale of horror. “I’ll never sit in that chair again!” Birgitta said.

Later I did a bit of research on my own, envisioning little Emerald vs. big spider. I learned that the brown recluse isn’t aggressive but fears people, preferring to scamper away rather than interact. In our area they’re extremely rare, and a sighting of one doesn’t necessarily mean others are nearby. As Nelson often says, “It’s always too soon to panic.”

I think God would agree with that. He doesn’t want us to panic over a spider or anything else. Second Timothy 1:7 reminds us he “hasn’t given us a spirit of fear.”

So when we’re panicky about something, we can be sure those feelings haven’t come from God but are from the devil, who is a champion at getting us all riled up. Most of the time there’s a way around fearful circumstances that doesn’t include panic, and if we keep a level head, God will show us what to do.

I’m proud of my girls for tackling their spider-crisis bravely, even while risking a bite. But maybe, if there’s ever a next time, they’ll be able to handle it without quite so much screaming.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)