Monthly Archives: July 2013

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Car albumThis afternoon Emerald directed my attention to a family scrapbook I hadn’t viewed in a while, a photo album with the title “Memory Lane.” Her baby abilities have been on the increase lately, and her “sticky fingers” are grabbing with greater efficiency. This scrapbook, stored on a bottom shelf, was her newest conquest.

After she’d perused C.S.Lewis and “The Problem of Pain,” she ooched left, swiveled, and grabbed “Memory Lane,” ripping out the inscription page and the first page of photos before anyone noticed. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, since many of my possessions have been similarly “loved” by grandchild-hands. But this album was a gift to Nate from me, and I wanted to keep it nice.

The bigger car, 1971Over 30 years of time, I’d collected pictures of all the cars we’d ever owned as a couple, along with a few my parents had owned. There’s Nate’s first car, my first car, and every car after that, including the multiple “low budget” cars of 7 driving children. The album has 71 vehicles pictured…. so far.

As I secretly tucked away photos over the years, I always knew they would one day be a special surprise for Nate. But it was tricky deciding when to give the scrapbook, since additional cars were always being added. Then finally I couldn’t wait any longer to see his reaction and decided to give it on his birthday in August, 2009. It must have been God prompting me, because that was his last birthday.

Last birthdayAlthough he didn’t feel good that evening, he loved his gift and praised me for the effort behind it. The very next week we learned (after a physical exam) that something was “off” in his blood numbers, and further tests were ordered. Within a month of that birthday party, we’d heard the words “terminal pancreatic cancer,” and 2½ months after he turned 64, he was gone.

Today when the album suffered at Emerald’s hands, it went against me. Something about keeping that scrapbook in good shape seemed to help keep my connection with Nate in good shape.

Inscription pageNot that a simple photo album can bridge the massive gap between earth and heaven. But just seeing my written greeting to him on the front page remains a link between the two of us, at least for me (though surely no longer for him).  We are approaching the 4 year mark from his death, and with time I find it more and more difficult to stay connected to him.

I believe God gently supplies potent reminders of our relationships with loved ones who’ve passed away (like the car album’s appearance today) as instruments of healing. People who’ve experienced loss want to reaffirm (again and again) that their bond with that person is still strong. Gifts from the past, both given and received, help do that.

And so, when Louisa saw the damage to Nate’s scrapbook, she quickly devised a solution, removing some of the photos, gluing them elsewhere, trimming the inscription page, pasting it over something else, and voila! The revised scrapbook is almost as good as new.

And as of today, it’s found a new home on a very high shelf.

“The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Dirty Feet

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This weekend while I was on duty with Emerald, she and Jack assisted me with some yard work. I can’t say who was the greatest helper, but both added a special something.

Yard work helpersJack stood guard (er… sat guard) and Emerald provided the sound track, giggling and squealing over her discoveries: shriveled leaves, broken twigs, acorns, garden rocks. We didn’t accomplish a whole lot but did enjoy a satisfying hour together.

I couldn’t help but notice the baby’s beautiful skin against the rough ground and especially her sweet little feet, so soft and (so far) of very little use. But what struck me most on our gardening day was that her feet got dirty for the very first time.

Dirty feet.Sitting in the ivy, swiveling this way and that, her feet repeatedly rubbed against the soil, getting filthy. Her toenails had never had dirt under them before, and both Birgitta and I have loved kissing those clean feet to get her giggling. After our yard work, her feet looked like the rest of ours, and it wasn’t a good look for her.

I looked at my own feet, knowing they don’t look really clean even after they’ve been washed. And then I thought of Jesus, who washed the dirty feet of his 12 main men, despite most of them being old, worn out feet, probably gnarly, stained, and ugly.

The reason he did it was twofold: (1) to demonstrate the importance of humility, hoping the men would one day follow his example with others; and (2) to let them know that humbling themselves would bring blessing back to them.

SNM128510It wasn’t easy for Jesus to do what he did with the disciples’ feet that night, especially with his thoughts so focused on the excruciating hours of torture immediately ahead. But this last lesson from Master to students was important enough that not even the closeness of the crucifixion could dissuade him, which is why it’s such an important lesson for the rest of us, too.

As I sat Emerald on the edge of the kitchen sink to wash her feet, God gave me a sweet thought: “Emerald could be literally painted in mud, and you wouldn’t love her any less, would you?”

Jesus washed 24 big, smelly feet (including those of his betrayer) with a humility that verified a love so great, it can’t be explained. Though I’ll never be able to love to that depth, I can stand in awe of his great love, and think about that night when the Master put himself beneath his servants to make an incredibly important point: to humble oneself is to show love.

Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:16-17)

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us.” (1 John 4:10)

The Tough Truth

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Tiger golfsSome babies are born into sporty families and begin their careers with pint-sized golf clubs, tennis rackets, or baseball bats. Others arrive to parents who love horses, and their children are taught to ride before they can sit up. Still others come into musical homes and learn to read music before reading words, developing into prodigies.

Babies born into our family have it easy. All they have to do is love the beach.

Later this week Emerald will turn 9 months, and in her short life she’s already become a water baby. She never gets enough of Lake Michigan and today had us all spellbound with her antics.

Water baby.

While she was sitting in our beach creek, her mommy slowly poured a bucket of water out in front of her from 2 feet in the air. At first Emerald did what most babies do, grabbing at the stream. Then suddenly she surprised us all by leaning forward and going full-face into the water, soaking her eyes and nose, and filling her mouth.

She did it again and again, after which she would pull back and laugh with gusto. Birgitta poured bucket after bucket in front of her, and she never stopped ducking into the water and laughing afterwards. Getting dunked was her her passion of the moment.

Maybe it’s possible to develop spiritual passions in our children the same way families develop passions for sports, horses, music, or water, by starting young.

My parents began spiritual training with my sister, brother and I early in our lives, just as Nate and I did with our children: Sunday school from infancy, youth groups, summer camp, service projects, and mission trips. Most importantly, we tried to practice what we preached at home. But that last one, living out an example of Christ-like-ness, is the toughest.

Some youngsters, when taught something from the get-go, develop a natural proclivity for it and get good at it because it comes naturally. But righteous living? That doesn’t come naturally to any of us.

Billy Graham

I think of Billy Graham, one of the most prominent preachers of all time. His life has been scrutinized from every angle  without finding any skeletons in his closets, and most of us would call him a “righteous person.” Yet he told an interviewer he struggles daily with the temptation to sin, resisting only with God’s supernatural help.

Those of us who think we have a passion to follow God will never succeed at it unless we enlist his ongoing partnership. We can start early with our training, practice like Olympic athletes, and insist our passion will carry us, but all of us are (as one God-fearing missionary put it) “…only two steps away from disaster.”

Good thing God understands that. Although he appreciates our efforts toward righteousness (and expects us to try), he lets us off the hook on perfection. And we can be forever grateful for his reason:

“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” (1 Timothy 1:15)