Category Archives: Marriage

Young Love (#33)

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In Chicago, as I spent my days with 51 kindergarteners, my thoughts were always on Nate. In Champaign, as he spent his days with law books and military men, his thoughts were always on me. But our thinking looked very different.

He was focused on “being worthy” of me, and I was focused on my own unworthiness. On many days, as I reflected on Nate’s wholehearted love, I wondered what in the world he saw in me. I could hardly believe how thoroughly he loved me when so often I was selfish and unlovable. And I began to worry that once we were married, he would be disappointed in me. I committed in my heart I would do my very best for this one who loved me with such abandon.

May 18, 1969 – To my wonderful Nate. The early, early morning is a wonderful time to be alive. I took a short walk in the city this morning because I got ready early, and the sun’s sparkle on everything just cheered me so much. If I get a job down near you, even before we are married we can have breakfast together sometimes and maybe take a sunrise walk, too. And when marriage finally rolls around, wowie-zowie!

sun-bestMay 18, 1969 – Dearest Meg. After a good night’s rest last night, I went to church this morning at the Bible Church, and the pastor said some excellent things (outline enclosed). Now I’m getting ready to study, but first I’m going to say a prayer of thanksgiving for having Meg in my life. I love you.

May 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m so glad you love the Lord as I do. We’ll have to remember what Pastor Sweeting told us at the picnic, that people who are anticipating Christian growth mustn’t hesitate to get involved. We’ll do that after we’re married and after we’ve settled into one of the strong Bible-teaching churches in your area there. I think of you the whole way through every day. And I love those thoughts. You are one of a kind.

May 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg, my Future Wife. I’m still savoring last weekend, Saturday. It was fabulous! Flowers, lions, picnic, and Meg, Meg, Meg! I love you! Please pray for us, and also for my exams, the rest of this week.

May 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve been thinking of how much you love me, and I’m confident you always will. And I want to tell you now, if I ever even border on taking advantage of your love or taking you for granted in ANY way, EVER, then please pounce on me and tell me, because I would never never never want to be that way. Sadly, I’m less thoughtful and considerate than you. I’d never mean to take advantage of your love, but if it ever happens, I want to be stopped.

May 20, 1969 – Dearest Meg. What a fabulous woman you are! I would love to get married before January, if that would work out. Maybe September when you move here? I suppose January might be better for us family-wise, though.

teacher-photoMay 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve decided not to dwell on how many days we will be apart before we marry, but rather to think about how fortunate I am to see you as much as I do. I’m a very lucky girl to have you at all, as my almost-husband. My roommate is sure we’ll end up married by September! I told her it couldn’t happen – being too soon – but it sure does sound good. I’m still looking for a substitute Sunday school teacher. One good thing: my Sunday afternoon junior club responsibilities end after 3 more Sundays. They break for summer.

“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” (Philippians 4:5)

Young Love (#32)

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At this point, Nate and I spent much of our communication on the logistics of relocating me to Champaign, clearing the way to marry during the school year.

Details were being discussed without the benefit of input from parents, and our planned changes were beginning to stockpile. So Nate and I talked often about how best to win their approval without opposition to our timing.

dearest-megMay 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you. Your idea of an organized outline to your folks at your apartment during dinner is very good. After finals I can also talk with them in detail re: engagement, wedding, Army, law, and finances. I like your idea of me getting a summer job in Chicago, but with 6 weeks of Army camp, I wouldn’t be able to start until too late. I do realize that if you teach in Champaign in the fall, this summer will be your last time living near home. Such thoughts are very considerate of your parents and very much like you, sweet Meg.

May 16, 1969 – Dear Nate. Do you remember little JoAnn, one of my kindergarteners? For show and tell today, she brought her “plastic church beads.” She explained well to the class: “Here’s how they work,” she said. “You count them like this, 1… 2… 3… 4… You count them in the back row at church, but you have to whisper or you’ll mix up all the other people on their numbers.” Aren’t kids wonderful?

May 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I pray for us every day and feel sure the Lord is guiding both of us in honest love. As our relationship is maturing, I feel certain Christ is at the center of our two lives.

After Nate’s day-long visit to Chicago/Wilmette:

May 18, 1969 – Dearest Meg. My day with you yesterday was the greatest yet! Your wholesomeness and purity and faith in Christ stir me to act and think in the highest ways to be worthy of you. We have become committed to each other, and the practical matters are working out for themselves. All things are possible, because of our faith.

lots-of-loveMay 18, 1969 – Dear Nate. Our day together was really lots of fun. Wow! Life with you will be joyful! And my parents were glad to see us. I’m worrying about Dad coming around to our new plans. I don’t think there will be any friction, because he’s sensible and will ask any questions he has. But I hope to talk with him this week. I’ll put the pressure on for him or both of them to stop at my apartment soon.

May 18, 1969 – Dearest Meg. You know, I always feel at ease when I’m with your parents. I like them very much and respect them for the life they lead. I really admire your father for living in Christian responsibility with strength and courage in this business world. In one of my prayers I’m asking God for that kind of strength and sensitivity. It’s easy to see how your parents raised such a fine daughter as Meg. I love you!

zooMay 18, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m still loving the memory of our day together. It was cool that we got to enjoy the zoo and conservatory without the noise and rush of crowds. It was quiet peace to be with each other. And then at the picnic, we got to chat with 2 pastors and several of my friends as they met you. And they approved! I was so proud. And then we got to have that meaningful prayer time together, renewing our commitment to Christ. I felt so open and honest with the Lord as we both talked to Him.

“Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.” (Psalm 37:37)

Young Love (#31)

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Although Nate and I were both set on marrying in January of 1970 rather than waiting till the summer, our 4 parents knew nothing of our plans. They hadn’t even met each other. We knew they’d object to our timing, so putting off the conversation was the path of least resistance, and we went with that.

mary-bervinMary and Bervin had dated for two years, both local to Chicago, and our parents knew Bervin well by the time he gave Mary a ring. Their engagement lasted a full year, and with that timing they had set a family precedent we weren’t planning to follow.

But first-off was to introduce Nate to my friends at a church-sponsored gathering, coupled with additional time spent with my folks. It was important that everybody get to know him better.

May 13, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you and am praying for the answer to the “when” of our marriage. I see many advantages of a January wedding, though it means a short wedding trip. I think of you so often it’s as though we were living together every minute. You are the perfect wife for me. I will make many sacrifices for you and will work very hard. I love you and want to please you.

May 14, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you so very much for the fabulous phone call this afternoon. I love to talk with you and can’t wait till Saturday. I’ll study harder all week knowing it’s coming. I love the idea of you, the picnic, meeting Pastor Sweeting, and private prayer time with you. I pray every night for us, for our decisions and our relationship, asking each time that we follow His plan for us and surrender our lives to His will. I’m thinking of how beautiful you were the last time you came to Champaign, sitting in the sun as it came through the opaque windows. That suntanned face. Our walk down the path to the car. The ride to town, and church the next morning. Ah, I want a lifetime and an eternity of that!

May 14, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m very excited about you coming on Saturday! Please ask permission to be released from overnight dorm duty to stay with my folks one night, ok? I would love that more than anything. We could get so much more out of your visit if you didn’t have to leave on the 9 PM train. I promise to let you study some.

teaberryMay 14, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Your calls are great. Hearing your voice is fabulous. We just must get married in January, engaged in July, and choose your ring in June! We’ll never be apart again! Thanks for the Teaberry gum, but I would rather smell Teaberry on your breath in a kiss.

May 14, 1969 – Today my team teacher was in a very low mood, and usually if we talk things over, she feels much better. But she didn’t feel like sharing with me this time. Both of us had a miserable day because of it, and I still feel bad about not being able to help her. We usually have so much fun together. Coming home tonight to 2 wonderful letters from fabulous Nate was a beautiful top-off to a difficult day. Thank you! I love you.

July 15, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I’m glad you like my letters. They are manifestations of my love for you. The greatest thing about me is loving you. I will always love you and be faithful to you. I have waited a long time and would never do anything to spoil it. I’m looking forward to the weekend but won’t be able to stay overnight. This pre-finals study time is precious, and Saturday is all I can spare. If the Chicago teachers do strike next week, please come down here to be with me in my time of trial (finals!).

July 15, 1969 – Dear Future Husband. Saturday morning’s train can’t come soon enough for me! When my day involves you, it is complete. When I’m not near you, I’m frustrated.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)