As we readied for a short church service in our living room circle this morning, I thought of the thousands of families readying for church all over the country. We’ve not been to a “real” church since we got the shocking news of Nate’s pancreatic cancer less than a month ago. He’s not been up to going, and we all want to stay with him. I wondered how long it would be before we… or I… went back.
As we cleared our cluttered kitchen counter to set out eggs and toast, we found another Scripture rock tucked next to the microwave: Psalm 27:5. We get to eat in our church, so we gobbled down breakfast while our daughter-in-law Katy opened the worship service by reading the rock-verse. “For in the day of trouble, He will conceal me in His tabernacle. In the secret place of His tent He will hide me. He will lift me up on a rock.” These days are an earthquake of trouble, to be sure. How good to know God can and will lift us onto solid ground. After praying, we listened to one of Pastor Colin Smith’s sermon CDs. The subject was love.
Later in the afternoon, I needed some time alone, a rare commodity for any of us in our crowded cottage. I’ve not wanted to leave Nate’s side since the diagnosis, especially lately when he’s kept careful track of whether or not I’m in the room. But while he dozed comfortably in his chair, I found a leash and walked Jack to the beach.
As we paced along the shoreline, a tremendous sadness settled over me like one of those lead aprons the dentist lays on people before taking an x-ray. It felt too heavy to get out from under. Although I’m resigned to Nate’s cancer and the devastation it’s causing in his body, today the whole dilemma seemed extra sad. I wasn’t mad at God. He’s been loving and gentle with us every single day. But the thought of losing our favorite husband, father and grandpa overwhelmed me.
I hadn’t planned on picking up stones today, yet as Jack and I shuffled along, the strangest thing occurred. My eye, following the line of rocks along the edge of the waves, fell on a rock that was shaped like a heart, first one and then another… and another. I put each one into my coat pocket, commenting to Jack at how unusual such finds were.
The more hearts I found, the more my spirit lifted. We walked half a mile or so until my pockets were bulging, dictating it was time to turn for home. Spreading out the bounty, I was astounded to find a heart-rock for each member of the family, including our three unborn babies, and especially including Nate. It was as if God was telling me, “I’m not going to let you ‘lose’ Nate. You’ll always know exactly where he is: with Me. In the mean time, remember how much I love you and yours… times 16!”
“What is man, that You should magnify him and that You should set your heart upon him?” (Job 7:17)
His love is amazing! I’m so moved and happy to hear about the two youngest unborn babies! Your heart-rocks are priceless! I loved seeing Lousia’s Shorewood photos on FB!
Love to you, Glo
God is so great!
God is amazing and it’s also fun that you found that many heart rocks =)… Miss you!! and thinking of you alot!!
God is so good, even in the darkest times, He’s there, holding us up and giving us what we need to make it through to the next day. Grace and peace to all of you.
Marg, Let’s put those heart rocks around a mirror, as you’ve done so many times. These however, will be rocks of remembrance, an altar to reflect His goodness to bring you solice wherever you walk. May each day continue to bring you gripping reminders of our Father’s goodness, a stronghold in the day of trouble. May the peace of God, which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus
I collect heart shaped rocks and everytime I find one I feel God’s love…I have found them in amazing places at amazing times. I love watching (through your writings) how God is daily caring for you and your family…I am praying for you
As you journey through this time of your life remember that God is using you to bless others with your strong faith. The blessings are flowing all the way to Texas. I am so blessed that we were able to know you both. I believe that even in these sad times for your and your family God is growing your faith and allowing your family to grow so that in the days ahead they will be able to bless others as well. Thanks for sharing your journey and I pray God’s continued strength for you and all who will care for Nate. Please give Nate our love and let him know that we are thinking of him. Blessings!
What a blessing those heart rocks are and will continue to be…reminders…not of sorrow but of His constant presence. Made me wonder how often He has prepared something like that to encourage me and I didn’t have my eyes open enough to see them. His love endures forever….and because of Christ so will ours.
“Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me(Christ).” John 14:1
This came to mind as I read your blog. I compare your walk with what we went through taking care of John’s dad when we were in our mid thirties. I can relate to that heaviness that can overwhelm every hope, joy, or strenght to go on. I can look back on those days and attest to the many times that I felt His strong precense when I was overwhelmed with exhaustion and the varied human emotions. I smile as I picture our heavenly Father lovingly placeing each heart rock in your pathway for you to be assured that He is with you each step of the way, in the present situation and in the future.
My daughter Anne is a friend of Louisa’s and is coming to Chicago tomorrow. She has shared your story and this blog with me. Thank you so much for sharing your journey through this blog. It is an encouragement and blessing. Know that many are praying for you and your family.
Nate & Margaret, Just know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
How like our wonderful Heavenly Father to use a simple walk along the beach and His creation to express His love to you in a new and wonderous way.
Years ago, David Mains suggested on one of his radio programs, that each day we should go on a ‘God hunt’ looking for those particular times that God made Himself known. God hunts have helped our family through trying times. I love the picture of the results of your God hunt along the beach. We love you all and are praying.
Dear Margaret & Nate. When times are hard God has given me this song,Be not dismayed what err be tied God will take care of you.Beneath His wings of love abide,God will take care of you. No matter what may be the test,God will take care of you.Lean weary one upon His breast,God will take care you. God will take care of you,through every day or all the way.He will take care of you.God will take care of you. As l read your blogs seems as though God is doing just that.With your wonderful family all near by what a tremendous Blessing and especially your wonderful sister Mary. l cried when l read about the 27 bowls of pudding. Wally & l pray for you daily and sometimes its hard to read about your lives right now,but we know He is right there beside you all the time. Love you Guys so much.Wally & Barb Fuja
Margaret, how very precious of the Lord to lead you on a treasure hunt for heart shaped rocks at the moment your heart was so heavy with sadness. My thoughts moved to the book of Lamentations–you have been writing your own book of lamentations–and those comforting, familiar words, “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'” (Lam. 3:21-24) I’m asking the Lord to lay a soft, velvety blanket of peace and hope over you as you watch and wait. With love, Rebecca
Just Amazing!
Margaret..how precious is our loving heavenly Father …to give us His Holy Spirit..surrounding all of you, pulling on your heart-strings, to spend some time alone with Him…so He could again, reassure you..He cares, He knows, He is able to do abundantly, exceedingly above all you could hope for or ask. He gave me the scripture Hosea 2:14-23..after my husband Bill, passed, heart attack in the middle of the night, no time to say anything…..except to his spirit. God IS faithful to His word…believe me,I know! Only Nate’s body will be gone, NOT his spirit. I continue to pray for His peace and grace abounding over all .
HE IS OUR ROCK !! AMAZING GRACE !!
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God is close to the brokenhearted.
Margaret…I just discovered your blog today and I have read every post thus far. I couldn’t help but comment on this beautiful post from the Lord. This is amazing to me. Encouraging. And so incredibly like the God I love. Thank you for taking the time to share your heart and your family even with perfect strangers. The family photo really helped me envision all of you together.