When a young man is sure of his love for a certain young woman, nothing but full-blown rejection will kill his hope. So in the 1960’s, Nate subtly continued to fan the flame from afar through heartfelt letters laced with compliments and optimism, despite there still being a third party in the mix.
The Vietnam war was heating up, and the draft had been re-established. With a low number, Nate worried he’d be called up and, as he put it, “taken.” A friend of his had gone and returned in a body bag, and others he knew had come back traumatized. So he applied to join the University of Illinois ROTC program, which included an educational deferment for full time students, at least at that time.
Just after Christmas, he squeezed in a quick visit to the Chicago area to see me, hoping one-on-one time would bring us closer.
Jan. 2, 1968 – (from me) I want to thank you very much for coming all this way to see me, and for the beautiful pendant and sweet cologne you brought. Thank you also for all the nice things you said and did while you were here. All of it was appreciated. Thanks again. Margaret
Feb. 26, 1968 – I am happy to get your letter. Meg, you don’t have to keep telling me that we’re just friends. I know that. I got it straight last June. No romance, but friendship… a corresponding friendship. I think you’re right when you say life can be confusing. You say you feel confused; didn’t you realize that when you go out with someone, his affection and desire for you would grow? The reason (the other boy) asks you out is that he is getting fonder of you.
Mar. 17, 1968 – Meg, I really don’t know what to write about you and (the other guy). You want advice, but you must make up your own mind. Though you say you are in a period of separation from him now, you may decide to go back to him at the end of it. The ultimate thing is for you to love him and for him to reciprocate. To me, the most important thing is for you to be happy.
April 3, 1968 – Your current situation with (the other guy) sounds like you have resolved the problem of religious differences. I think you are extremely sophisticated to view the matter as you do. Many women might childishly make demands, but you honestly offer cordiality to a good and sincere man. And both of us know how fortunate I think he is. And consider this: commitment to Christ can be found in any denomination.
May 29, 1968 – My faith is the only thing holding me together. I’ve taken three out of five law finals, and the pressure is intense. And after a perusal of TIME magazine with its articles on Russian missiles, bio-chemical warfare, racism, and battered child syndrome, I think faith in Christ is sine qua non.
May 30, 1968 – After filling out dozens of forms, I finally got my ROTC appointment. The Army has been nice to me… 160 applicants, and they only took 16, with only 4 of those in grad school. I don’t know what I did to be so lucky, but I thank God for it each night. ROTC means I’ll have a deferment from the draft at least until I get my law degree. It means two summer camps with the Army, but I won’t have to go to Vietnam any time soon. I would like to give you a big hug, and you’d probably like to bounce the nearest vase off of my head.
“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” (Proverbs 29:25)