The 156 miles between Nate and me were beginning to take their toll. Although we got together as often as schedules and finances allowed, visits were often limited to one day, either because of his commitments or mine. I looked forward to being with Nate and in all our times together hadn’t noticed anything I disliked.

So why wasn’t I able to surrender to him? In addition to fearing another broken heart, there was one other reason – I worried about making a commitment “on the rebound” from my old boyfriend. He and I had formally broken up 4 months previously, but the break-up apparently hadn’t stuck. At a minimum, it was sloppy. Committing to Nate while that relationship was still “alive” didn’t seem right. If my old boyfriend had genuinely become a Christian during this time, right or wrong I would have gone back to him in a flash.

Mar. 9, 1969 – Dear Meg. The military ball is 12 April; women wear formals, and men uniforms. And I think the weekend for meeting my parents will be before the ball. But no weekend can be greater than our last one together. You were sweet, precious, womanly. I love you very much, Meg.

Mar. 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. This week we’re beginning a unit on animals in both kindergartens, and today we studied the difference between zoo and farm animals – why we don’t put kitties behind bars or lions behind low fences. I eagerly look forward to being with my little kidlets each day. But I miss you, too.    Meg.

Mar. 10, 1969 – Dear Meg. I was thinking this morning of all the sweet little things you do… your laugh, when you tease me and try to tickle me, the way you close your eyes when I kiss you. Each facet of your demeanor I remember and think about. You’re a wonderful person. My life would really have missed someone if I hadn’t met you. Of all 4 years in college, you are my finest memory. And what’s even better is that our relationship continues and grows…

Mar. 10, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve asked my folks about you coming up here over the week of your spring vacation with both of us staying at my Wilmette house for 3 days or so before I go with you to your house for that weekend. Such steady togetherness should be helpful. If I had extra hours in each day, I’d like to spend them writing and talking to you. Would we ever run out of things to say?

Mar. 11, 1969 – Dear Meg. On Saturday, 22 March, we’ll have dinner with my parents here in Champaign and maybe see a movie or something at Assembly Hall. And… you are a fabulous person to spend time witnessing to your co-worker. She perhaps has so much faith in man because she has lost it in her own father (who was Our Father’s representative to her on earth). Mark 7 has much to say about faith in man-made traditions. I am angered by those who argue that science answers everything and that life is always getting better. Remember that man has never failed to use any weapon he’s developed, including the atomic bomb; sooner or later he will use the hydrogen bomb.

Mar. 11, 1969 – Dear Nate. I really want Mom and Dad to get to know you as I do. It hurts that very few of my friends and relatives know you.

Mar. 11, 1969 – Dear Meg. Going on a campaign to “educate” your parents and friends about us is very good; you want to include them in your feelings. Then, when you finally reach a decision one way or another, they won’t be shocked. Besides, we always enjoy feelings more when we share them with loved ones.

“Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests… Be alert and always keep on praying…” (Ephesians 6:18)