What’d ya say?

While I was in England recently visiting our son Hans and his young family, we began chatting about the Garden of Eden. We wondered aloud about its only residents, Eve and Adam, the mother and father of the entire human race. What did they look like? Were they tall? Small? Dark skinned? Light? Were they children? Teens? Twenty-somethings?

Enjoying our discussion, we talked about their language. Without ever pondering this before, I’ve always assumed they spoke English, a thought that seems comical now. But what, then, did they speak? Was it Hebrew? Greek? Aramaic? We decided it was probably none of those.

Most likely it was a language unknown today. Hans got me laughing when he said, “Maybe it was the language of clicks and whistles,” and then gave me his best impression. We agreed it was too late for either of us to master that one.

Nate spoke fluent Russian, having been a Russian minor in college. Although he downplayed his accomplishment, when he visited Russia, he successfully spoke it, was easily understood and was able to understand native speakers in return. He was fluent all right. And one of the reasons was his continual review of his flashcards, worn and dog-eared from ongoing use.

All of our children have studied foreign languages in school, but most can’t use it beyond Taco Bell or The Olive Garden. Although a two year old can become fluent in any language in less than a year, the rest of us need multiples of that time to speak even a little. The older we get, the harder it is to make a new language “stick”.

It’s even difficult (and can be risky) traveling in a foreign country where we can’t read signs or understand speech. Mary and I once got so lost in Sweden we thought we’d have to spend the night under a bridge. Although we had a car, a full gas tank, Swedish money and two fairly good brains, without the language it was a hopeless situation.

I’ve so loved listening to 22 month old Skylar learn English. Yesterday we walked the four short blocks to my mailbox with Skylar running circles around the rest of us, Linnea, Micah, Louisa, Birgitta, Jack the dog and me. One of us said, “It’s a little chilly.”

Skylar, a keen listener, immediately picked up on it. “It’s a little chilly, Mommy. It’s a little chilly, Weez. It’s a little chilly, Gitta. It’s a little chilly, Midgee.” As she skipped along, she repeated these new words 20 times over until we were stumbling along the road with laughter. But Skylar was simply learning a language.

No doubt heaven will have its own language made up of words none of us could ever find in an earthly textbook. When we first arrive there, however, and are still learning to speak it, there will be a way to commune with the Lord and each other as we’re bursting to share our joy at being in the presence of God. We’ll be able to use the universal language: music.

“Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness.” (Psalm 100:1-2a)

Comfy Terrycloth

Over the last few months I’ve given away quite a few of Nate’s clothes, many of them to our Illinois church’s clothing distribution to the homeless. There’s one piece, however, I’ve decided to keep… and to wear. It’s his navy blue, terrycloth bath robe.

Nate wore this robe daily. Throughout 2009 when he was plagued by severe back pain, he couldn’t wait to get out of his business suit each evening and into the comfort of this bath robe. Usually the transition was made immediately after our 7:00 PM dinner by way of a hot soak in the tub with the day’s newspapers.

Although there were nights during his stressful career when he’d fall into bed very late wearing his white long-sleeved dress shirt still buttoned at the wrists, in recent years he did away with all that. And during his last year, he worked deliberately to reduce his pain and find a measure of comfort each evening.

Once in a while I’d get frustrated watching him abdicate the hustle and bustle of family life in favor of undressing and moving toward a prone position. I even grew to dislike the navy robe, which for both of us represented the end of his day. I’d ask, “Are you getting ready for night time already? It’s only 8:00.”

Now, of course, I feel badly about the implication of my question, but I hadn’t known the extent of his pain.

One of the reasons he loved his terrycloth robe was not having to dry off after a bath or shower. “It’s like a giant towel doing the job for me,” he’d say.

These days, as I wrap myself in his “giant towel,” I think comforting thoughts about Nate. I ponder the absence of complaining about his back and know he’d smile to see how I’ve come to appreciate his robe. I also imagine how he’d laugh if he could see me in it, the shoulders droopy and the belt nearly going around twice. But he’d be glad to know I’ve finally discovered there’s comfort in that terrycloth.

Many of my widow pals say they find a warm refuge in wearing a husband’s jacket, shirt or socks. It sounds silly, especially if we never shared our men’s clothing while they were still with us. But it’s one of the few remaining links we have to our partners, and because of that, wearing their clothes takes on special meaning.

Scripture tells us God is a good comforter. He provides his Holy Spirit as a soothing balm from our insides out, supplying comfort deep-down in those places nobody sees. Jesus said that when we mourn, he’ll see to it that relief comes to us. (Matthew 5:4) One of the many ways he’s comforted me is by coaxing me into Nate’s robe.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles…” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4a)

Rejoice and be glad.

After two weeks visiting three grandbabies in England and several days with two more in Michigan, I’m up-to-date with our five youthful relatives. Cameras are clicking non-stop, but sadly their Grandpa Nate is only in a few of the photos, and he’ll never appear with three of these children. As a matter of fact, none of the five will ever know him.

Skylar                                                Nicholas                                  I’ve worked hard not to camp there in my thinking. Instead I’m trying to focus on God’s spectacular timing in sending three new lives just as we’re painfully adjusting to losing one.

All of us pray for good health, protection and safety. When circumstances dish out the opposite, disease, injury or danger, it means God has overruled our prayer requests for important reasons that will ultimately be to our benefit.

As an example, take the 9/11 terrorist attacks. In the beginning it was all about anger and revenge. “What kind of a God would let this happen?”

But a month later, the entire country had recognized God as a force for good in America and had begun appreciating people in new ways. Many had started going back to church. Prayer meetings abounded. And those who’d lost loved ones in the attacks vowed not to wait before telling family members of their gratitude and love. Yes, there were losses, but there were also gains.

Henry Blackaby, an author and teacher I admire, says when we pray about specific situations, we ought to carefully observe what happens next. God will show himself in the circumstances that follow.

I remember years ago when a missionary friend who was based in the States (but a citizen of another country) was trapped in governmental red tape. Trying to renew her visa for traveling in and out of America, she’d been left in a third world country when her team had headed home. Unable to get back into the US, she sent out a call for prayer.

I began praying but wondered if I could help in another way also. I asked God what to do. Within days I “happened to hear” a broadcast on the power of fasting and decided God wanted me to fast for my friend.

At the end of a week’s fast, my friend actually called to say she’d not only received the paper work she needed but had secured permission to exit and enter the States indefinitely for ten years, something she’d never expected.

Was it an accident I was influenced to fast? I believe it was God’s response to my question of what I should do. When we seek him, he shows himself.

So here I am today, missing Nate and praying daily about my family’s different future without him. What should we think, Lord? What should we do?

His answer has come with three babies born in the first five months after Nate’s death. God has shown us we’re not to dwell on our losses but to focus forward and give thanks for where we are today.

We will never forget Nate. We’ll always love him dearly and delight in recounting our endless memories of him. And although his five grandchildren will never know him personally, we aren’t to spend time bemoaning that. Instead we’re to rejoice in their lives and move into the future with gladness and gratitude for the way things are… today.

“This is the day the Lord as made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)