Getting Old

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My folks were married 50 years and 1 month before Dad died after a fall, at 92. Mom was only 79 at the time, 13 years his junior.

Although 13 years is a big gap between husband and wife, we kids thought nothing of it, because Mom and Dad made it work well. I remember only one incident, one comment, when their age spread surfaced. It occurred a few months before Dad died.

After they had spent an evening at our house, the two of them were walking toward the front door. Suddenly Mom, who adored Dad, said, “Carl, don’t shuffle. You’re walking like an old man.” (He was 92.)

In a way it was a compliment. She was saying, “I don’t think of you as an old man, so don’t act like one.”

After her comment, Dad picked up his feet, a compliment to her. He was saying, “I’m glad you think I’m still spry.”

Interestingly, after Dad died, Mom lived 13 more years, so God gave her the chance to know 92 as he had. Her conclusion? “Now I know why Dad shuffled,” she said. “He wanted to be sure he didn’t fall.”

With age comes wisdom, but sadly, while we’re young, we rarely value it and don’t often ask advice of our elders. All of us need to know the difference between being worldly wise and spiritually wise. I’ll take the latter, any day. Though the world reveres youth and sets the aged “out to pasture,” God thinks quite differently. He tells us in Scripture we’re to stand in the presence of the elderly and to always show them respect. Then he links both of those to revering him.

He put old people in important roles throughout the Bible and in doing so, highlighted their accomplishments for all time. But what were those accomplishments? Each one dealt with kingdom business, the stuff of eternity.

The world prizes financial wealth, political power, external beauty, physical strength, all of which will one day disappear. God values the things that last: sacrificial giving, humble hearts, godly character, faithfulness to him.

Elderly Christians shine in these ways, which is why the Lord allows them to flourish spiritually, even while they’re declining physically. It behooves us to get close to these people and glean all we can before they’re taken from us. And if you have trouble identifying who they are, just watch for a walk that’s more like a shuffle. It’s a sure clue wisdom resides within.

“The righteous… will still bear fruit in old age; they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, ‘The Lord is upright; he is my Rock’.” (Psalm 92:14,15)

Winning Approval

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None of us like to be refused permission, but like it or not, the world is full of hoops to jump through in order to win approval.

Some of that jumping takes place at local DMVs, Department of Motor Vehicles. Although today was Birgitta’s last day at home for quite a while, we had to spend several hours working on three stressful projects:

1.  Replacing her misplaced driver’s license

2.  Updating her car’s license plate sticker

3.  Switching the plates from IL to MI

4.  Applying for a car title with her name on it

Before leaving the house, we tallied our documents: birth certificate, two pieces of mail addressed to her, her social security card, the car title, student ID, proof of valid insurance, checkbook. Rumor has it it’s difficult to get approval in the state of Michigan, and we’d already been turned down once for incomplete documentation.

As we clutched our items and drove to the DMV, my mind drifted back to May of 2009, when Nate and I were trying to establish Michigan residency. It was a daisy chain of approvals that had to occur in the correct order: first, register to vote, but that couldn’t happen without getting a driver’s license, which couldn’t happen without Michigan no-fault insurance.

We were excited to be moving to Michigan, anxious to get legal. Nate’s back pain was severe that day, so I drove the 20 miles while he tipped back in his seat, closing his eyes. Once we got there, he made good use of the hour-long wait by setting up Michigan insurance on his cell phone, after which we worked with DMV personnel at separate desks.

At the end of two hours they told me, “Everything’s in order. Here’s your license.” But poor Nate. He heard, “Sorry, big guy. This piece of mail doesn’t qualify,” and was denied. I saw his shoulders drop as he realized he’d have to go through the whole process again.

Two weeks later we returned toting complete documents but found the office closed.

Today Birgitta and I stood together at a high counter at the mercy of the woman across from us. She had the power to approve or disapprove Birgitta’s attempt to become a Michigander. Although the outcome was important since she needed a new license, I thought of another outcome far more critical: approval by God.

All of us want mercy in eternity, and because of Christ’s death in our stead, we can have it. Repentance of sin and belief in this Savior are the only “documents” needed. The biggest difference between getting Michigan citizenship and citizenship in heaven is that we have to prove ourselves in the first case and have already been approved in the second.

This afternoon, despite two major set-backs, we walked out of the DMV with all 4 tasks completed.

As for Nate, when he and I readied to make our third trip there, we learned he wouldn’t need to become a Michigander after all. He was on his way to merciful, pre-approved existence in heaven.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God?” (Galatians 1:10)

Just say yes.

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The inference of being a “yes man” isn’t good, a person with no opinion of his own (at least not one he’s willing to share). It’s someone who gives in quickly and kowtows to others: “Yes sir. Yes ma’m. Whatever you say.”

Last week President Obama was looking for some yes-men in Congress. In a sound bite played repeatedly he said, “When is somebody on the other side of the aisle going to take ‘yes’ for an answer?”

We all love a “yes”. As my son Klaus puts it, “Green lights are better than red ones,” and generally that’s true. But the ultimate “yes” is the one we hope to get from God after laying out our requests. “Pleeease,” we say, then hope for a “yes” a.s.a.p.

But what about him? While he’s deciding to answer with a “yes” or “no”, is it possible he’s looking for a few yes-es from us in return? When he asks if we’re willing to do something difficult or fight a painful battle, do we tell him “yes” or “no”?

Henry Blackaby puts it well in his book EXPERIENCING PRAYER WITH JESUS: “Let this be your heart’s desire: ‘Lord, whatever you say, my answer is yes, because that’s the only worthy response to you’.” So we’re supposed to become yes-men? Yes-women?

As I read that statement from the comfort of my lazy-boy, feet up, Coke Zero in hand, I could say, “Whatever it is, Lord! I’ll say ‘yes’!”

But when Nate got rapid-growth pancreatic cancer and was told he had only a short time to live, it wasn’t quite as easy to give an affirmative response. Later, when he began failing and God asked if I was willing to be a widow, my response was far from affirmative: “Do I have to?”

In life’s battle-trenches, we feel we’re doing well for God if we go through trouble without raging at him. But the response he longs to see during our suffering (nearly impossible) is a strong “yes”, even if spoken through tears.

Despite my own failures, I think success is more likely if I keep telling the Lord I want to be a yes-woman for him.  If I’ve said the yes-word long before I’ve hit the suffering, then, when the pain begins, my will tries to follow the verbal commitment. It might only be “Yes, I’ll try,” or “Yes, I hope so,” but if my “yes” beats me to the trouble, one of these days I’ll do it right when I get there.

Jesus modeled it perfectly: “Not what I want, Father, but ‘yes’ to your will for me, no matter how excruciating.” And that’s the enthusiastic yes-response God hopes he’ll see in all of us.

“Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.” (Isaiah 26:8)