It wasn’t easy.

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Some men go through life without having children, and some have only boys. In both cases, they’ve been spared one of life’s more difficult moments. They’ll never have to “give away” a daughter on her wedding day.

Little girls idolize their daddies. That’s the way it should be, since Daddy is their first reference for what God is like. In a best-case scenario, fathers evidence God-like characteristics toward their daughters: patience, kindness, love, goodness. If a daughter grows up in a relationship with this kind of daddy, it’s twice as easy for her to later relate to God as her loving heavenly Father.

Most fathers are fiercely protective of their daughters. Heaven help the person who intentionally harms them! This is what’s behind a father’s mistrust of boys who come calling during the dating years. Fathers see themselves as earth’s best security force for their little girls, no matter how big they get.

Then comes the greatest of all fatherly challenges, a daughter’s wedding day. Even if a man approves of his potential son-in-law, that walk down a church aisle to place his daughter’s hand in that of a young man can weaken even the strongest dad.

I remember my own wedding walk down the long aisle of Moody Church. Clutching my dad’s arm gave me a sense of security, and I knew if I got wobbly, he’d stabilize me. But what was he thinking? I never asked.

I did ask Nate, though, about his similar experience. He walked our Linnea down the aisle wearing an expression that said, “This is hard!” When we talked about it later, he said, “It was much harder than I thought it would be.”

And that’s the way it is for fathers who love their daughters.

But even in cases of poor fathering, no one needs to be without a perfect Father. God invites us to be his children, an offer that didn’t come without a “giving away.” Unlike earthly fathers who give away their daughters on a happy wedding day, God gave away his Son to an awful fate, a wrenching death he didn’t deserve. There is no greater sacrifice. Surely that day was excruciating for the Father, and yet he followed through.

Today we are able to reap the benefits of being children of that perfect Father. He is devoted beyond human capability and will never make the wrong call on our behalf. And if we wobble, he will stabilize us.

Although I was eager to have dad give me away on my wedding day, I don’t ever want God to give me away. And happily, he has promised he never will.

“To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

Toxic Fun

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This evening as we were busy preparing an early supper for our two little ones and a later one for the rest of us, one year old Micah was hungry and fussy. As several of us chopped vegetables and cubed cheese, Micah burrowed between our legs and into the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink.

Tugging on my pants he reached his pudgy arms up to hand me something saying, “Deet-doo,” his version of “thank you.” He gave me the spray bottle of Windex, then waited for me to parrot his words.

“Thank you, Micah,” I said, putting the Windex on the counter.

Then he proceeded to hand me the bleach spray, the dishwashing liquid, furniture polish, flea spray, plant fertilizer and floor wax, each one with a “deet-doo.” None of it was appropriate for toddler play, but we were busy, and his cabinet clean-out was keeping him out of our hair.

Of course we were monitoring his potentially harmful playtime, but it made me wonder how many toxins we, as adults, “play” with while not being monitored. Toying with drugs (I’ll just try it once) or alcohol (Everyone drinks) or shoplifting (They charge too much anyway) or smoking (It looks cool) or any number of other toxic habits can ruin us before we even know what happened.

Another subtle poison that can ruin us is playing around with truth, stretching it here, subtracting from it there. Thankfully, God is monitoring that, since he has the corner on truth, and Jesus personifies it. He has a vested interest in what we do with it and him. We’re to “buy it” exactly as Scripture presents it.

If we aren’t sure how to handle it, God will counsel us. A good prayer from Psalm 25 is, “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior.” When we dabble in his truth by choosing only the parts that appeal while setting the rest aside, this habit gradually becomes toxic and leads us to a deadly end.

If little Micah could have opened the cleaning products that looked so attractive to him, he would have spilled them on himself, tasted them, rubbed them in his eyes. While he was stinging with pain, he would have wondered how something so pretty could have hurt so much.

We ought to wonder the same thing before opening the cabinet door on hazardous behavior. “If I start this, will I be able to stop?” Sometimes God stops us, but he’s been known to let us have our way, too, which usually includes suffering the natural consequences of playing with poison. Under-the-sink liquids might require a bit of Ipecac, but altering truth will lead to harsher penalties.

Maybe the best approach is the one Micah used. Hand it off to someone responsible and say, “Deet-doo…  but no deets.”

“Buy the truth and do not sell it — wisdom, instruction and insight as well.” (Proverbs 23:23)

Look over here!

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Spending time with babies and preschoolers reminds me how easily distracted they are. Micah, at 18 months, can be hard-core tantrumming about a toy he hopes to snatch from his sister but a quick glance at something new turns it off like a water faucet. His lilting voice returns, and he’s all grins.

Tonight he was cheerfully munching his dinner when he accidentally knocked his plastic plate to the floor, scattering its contents in a yard-wide circle. Jack was there in a flash, demolishing Micah’s meal in less than a minute while Micah wailed and pointed at the tile in anguish. Although he loves Jack, it was disturbing to see his ham rolls and cheese cubes disappear.

There was no calming him. Dinner was over.

I took him out of his high chair in an inconsolable state, but by the time we’d walked to the next room, he was belly-laughing. The only thing I did was bump my forehead against his and say, “Buh buh buh buh.” Distractibility. It’s a wonderful thing.

Or is it?

Being that distractible is associated with being immature, but I wonder how many of us with accumulated years are equally as distractible. From God’s perspective it must seem continual. We join a Bible study but get distracted while doing our lesson and arrive unprepared. We promise to memorize Scripture but fail to focus and can’t retain what we learn. We vow to do better at sharing our faith but get sidetracked worrying about failure. We commit to regular offering contributions but get diverted by a vacation package or a new car.

I wonder if God doesn’t long to see unswerving determination in our spiritual lives. Paul talks about “fixing our eyes on Jesus” as we run life’s race, explaining how not to become distracted along the way. James describes the negatives of being “double-minded.” And in Deuteronomy we read God’s urgings to obey “without turning to the right or to the left.”

Scripture links distractibility not only with immaturity but also with instability, and none of us wants to be unstable. If we can resolve to be single-minded, we’ll eliminate quite a few problems. For example, if married people refuse to entertain ideas of being single again, fewer will walk away from their spouses. And if we commit to living in harmony with others, the courts won’t be as overloaded as they are.

The benefits will be personal, too. If we follow through on saving money, we won’t panic when an emergency occurs. If we commit to eating wisely, we’ll be healthier. If we take God’s promises at face value, we’ll live in freedom.

The temptation “to have our cake and eat it too” is all around us, and if the enemy can keep us distracted and lock us into wishy-washy thinking, he knows he’ll be victorious.

If only it were as easy as “buh buh buh buh.”

“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)