Monthly Archives: November 2014

Conversation with God

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Crawling into bed in the wee hours last night, the only question I had was, “Lord, what should I think about all this, regarding Mary’s cancer?”

Though he didn’t answer right away, in the 6:00 AM hour he did. Before my eyes opened, he put a passage of Scripture into my mind that was resounding like the chimes in a Christmas concert. Over and over it came as God wanted to be sure I didn’t miss his answer to my question.

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” ( John 11:25-26)

Jesus was doing what he did throughout the Gospels, answering my question by asking one of his own. It didn’t take two seconds to answer, “Absolutely!” And that brief conversation, which took place before my head left the pillow, set the tone for today.

RejoiceAlthough the enemy of our souls, Satan, would like us to be despondent and despairing with the news of Mary’s cancer recurrence, yesterday she hung a banner over the upsetting news: “Rejoice in the Lord always.” And she plans to do that to the best of her ability.

The piece of God’s Word delivered to me this morning seemed to be God’s stamp of approval on Mary’s determination to handle her crisis his way. As she places her hand in his on each of the days he gives her, the rest of us will do just fine if we follow their lead.

“I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him.” (2 Timothy 1:12)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful for the incredible response of people willing to pray for me, for us, and I sincerely feel it.
  2. I’m thankful that so far I don’t have new symptoms and feel pretty good.
  3. Thank you for praying for our family as each one adjusts to the difficult news of the cancer.

Heartbreaking News

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God’s will is not always easy to accept, and today’s turn of events fits into that difficult category.

My sister Mary had a full body scan to check for any recurrence of pancreatic cancer, and tonight we learned the devastating truth: this vicious disease has returned and is now on her liver and in her lungs.

Doctors don’t recommend additional chemotherapy, since it would have to be so strong that its side effects would be nearly unbearable. Tonight Mary seems at peace with that. She said, “I just plan to make every single day count.”

It’s been a long, tearful day for all the Petersons. Mary admitted that her low point was having to communicate today’s findings to their 7 children and families because… “it’s awful to be the cause of your children’s suffering.”

Yesterday when she was at my house, we talked about today at length. She said, “The verse dominating my thoughts is Isaiah 26:3 – ‘Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace who’s mind is stayed on Thee.’ ”

This is a watertight promise from God, and as she repeatedly claimed it last night, he gave her that peace in the form of a good night’s rest.

Now the Lord has given her a new verse, one that isn’t nearly as easy to own. True to herself and to her Lord, she said, “All of us, including your blog readers, prayed for God’s will, and today he answered our prayers by showing us what that was. I know he didn’t cause my cancer, but he has decided to allow it. Tonight his word to me is ‘Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice,’ so I’m going to try to do that.”

This was said through tears, but it was, indeed, said.

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“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Mary and BervinPraying with Mary, Bervin, and their Family:

  1. Pray for this difficult adjustment period to their sad news
  2. Pray for the grand- children, that their faith will grow, despite God not answering their prayers for their grandma as they’d hoped
  3. Pray for God’s peace to flood each heart, right in the middle of this heartbreaking news

Holding on Tight

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Today I drove 26 miles to the nearest shopping mall to run several errands. On the way home (about an hour later than I’d anticipated), God had something to say.

I was rounding a gentle curve on a busy expressway when a flash of color filled my rear view mirror: a spectacular sunset-in-progress. Brilliant orange slashed with aqua and gold made me look as long (and as often) as I dared while moving at 75 mph.

As I drove, the dramatic colors widened in all directions, lighting up half the sky, and I craned my neck to see the show for real rather than just in the mirror. But road-swerve persuaded me to try for a phone picture instead.

Putting the driver’s window down, I held out my phone, pointing behind me, but other than blurred pictures of other cars and trucks, I got nothing.

The sunset continued to develop, and I grew sad thinking it might fade before I could get a good look. I picked up speed, racing for home and the beach where a wide-angle view would make for great photos. Just as I arrived, though, the light show abruptly ended and the sky went grey. I was crushed.

That’s when God spoke. “Margaret, how could you feel crushed after the extravagant gift I just gave you? I arranged for you to spend precisely enough time in the stores to end up on the road exactly in time to see that amazing sunset, so why are you whining?”

My response was, “Because I didn’t get to see it fully, the way I wanted to, or take pictures to study later. Why couldn’t it have lasted a little longer?”

None of this impressed God, and what he said next was difficult to hear.

Mary“That sunset you were trying to hold onto isn’t the only impossible thing you’re trying to do. The other has to do with your sister Mary. Tomorrow she gets her first scan since chemo ended, a scan that’s going to hunt for cancer. Your hope for good results is rooted in a desire to hold onto her, but you can’t do that any more than you could hold that sunset.

“Every sunset belongs to Me, and Mary belongs to Me, too. Whether she gets good or bad news tomorrow, your response should be to confidently trust Me and My decisions about her life. Please remember that I’m holding onto her in a way you never could, so take courage from knowing that.”

But letting go of a sunset is one thing; letting go of Mary is something else entirely.

“Lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him…” Proverbs 3:5-6

Praying with Mary

Tomorrow, the 11th, is my post-chemo scan. Please pray for peace of mind and for complete acceptance of God’s perfect plan, both in my body and in my heart.