Monthly Archives: September 2014

Hanging On

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Nate wanted to go to Harvard University. He made his decision while still in junior high and worked diligently throughout high school, always reaching for his dream.

As a senior he applied early to Harvard, wanting to be in the first wave of acceptance letters, but had failed to consider one important factor. While he was the managing editor of the school newspaper, he’d written a series of harsh articles about two of the school’s teachers. In his opinion, they were more interested in coaching sports than teaching history, and he expounded on this in the newspaper.

Of course the teachers were insulted and let Nate know it. What he’d forgotten was his need for university recommendations from these same teachers, since he would be a history major. One of them had bluntly told Nate, “I’ll see to it you never get into Harvard.”

That might have been a frustrated high school student’s inflated opinion of the conversation, but the bottom line was a rejection letter from Harvard. Nate’s hopes were dashed, and receiving acceptances from several other excellent universities didn’t ease his pain.

None of us completely get our way as we go through life. After a crushing disappointment, it’s what we do next that determines whether or not we’ll be able to distance ourselves from the event. We can either mull it over again and again, increasing our resentment, or we can tell God, “You deal with it, because I can’t.”

I don’t think Nate ever experienced complete freedom from the malice of that history teacher. The teacher probably thought very little about Nate after he graduated, but Nate often thought about him. Turning it over to God would have been beneficial.

Last Sunday our pastor quoted Martin Luther who said, “There are only two days on my calendar. Today and that day,” meaning the day we meet our Maker. The hurtful events of yesterday shouldn’t be allowed to bind us today. It’s our choice, though. We can drag all the unfair stuff along with us, risking ruining today, or we can say no to that, with God’s help.

One day, after Nate and I had been married nearly a year, he told me the Harvard rejection story. He’d graduated with a strong GPA from Northwestern University and was about to graduate honorably from the University of Illinois Law School, so the Harvard rejection didn’t matter much to me. But as he talked, I could sense he was still hurting.

But we were newlyweds, and our “today” was lots of fun, so I tried to encourage him back into it. “If you’d gone to Harvard, we wouldn’t have met!”

I watched his pain melt, and he said, “Oh, I would have come back to the Midwest to get you.”

We only have today (which we know), and that day (which we don’t know).

“…of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” (Matthew 24:36)

When Charity Comes Knocking

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ConnieMy friend Connie and I have been friends for sixty-plus years, having grown up together at Moody Church, and among her many talents is being a fabulous cook. Since I’m not a very good one, I’ve always appreciated her abilities in the kitchen and have gobbled up many a meal from her hands.

But one particular incident will always come to mind when I think of Connie. It involved food but no cooking, and it happened 20 years ago. On a frosty morning in 1994, she stepped through my kitchen door carrying two overloaded grocery bags.

Wiping the dishwater from my hands, I said, “What’s all this?”

“Never mind,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

I followed her outside, oblivious to the winter winds, questioning her as I went. “What’s going on?” But I stopped short when I saw eight more big brown bags lined up in her car.

“The Lord told me to do something,” she said, “and I’m just doing what I’ve been told. You’re getting your kitchen stocked.”

“Oh no,” I said. “You can’t do that!”

But she deflected my objections. “Don’t get in the way of a blessing.”

Our family had been struggling financially for several years, and for me as a stay-at-home mom of seven, panic was never far away. This day a couple of my cabinet shelves were completely empty, shelves that once couldn’t hold their bounty.

“What do you mean,” I said, “by the Lord telling you what to do?”

“In Bible study this week one verse mentioned helping those in need. I knew it was God’s message for me to help you. So don’t object. I’ve gone over your head and gotten special permission.”

GroceriesMy eyes filled and I threw my arms around this true friend. I hadn’t told her of my rising fear over the near-empty refrigerator or mentioned that our dinners had boiled down to a choice between pancakes and soup. Yet God had, through his Word, given Connie specific instructions. Best of all, she’d obeyed. Knowing her family was also on a strict budget, I appreciated her gifts even more.

It’s difficult to accept charity. Giving is much easier than receiving. As I stood in my replenished kitchen that afternoon feeling guilty for accepting Connie’s groceries, God reminded me that charity is just another word for love. Connie had demonstrated godly love, which humbled me and simultaneously lifted my sagging spirit.

Later that same day my four year old (who had witnessed the food delivery) made a wise assessment of what had happened. “Your friend sure shares good, Mom.”

I had to agree.

“Don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.” (Hebrews 13:16)

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

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Linda and BobGod knew what he was doing when he led Nate and I to our Michigan cottage. Unbeknownst to us, the couple right next door would rescue us again and again. Bob and Linda have taken it upon themselves to help widows and others who need… well… anything.

Bob is a jack of all trades and cheerfully tackles problems with gusto. He often partners with his friend Gunnar, and the two of them make work look much like play. I’ll never forget the day they came to help when our power went out, the only house in the neighborhood to go dark. After trying all the usual tricks with our old fuse box, they discovered the power line from the house to the street had been slowly strangled by tree bark. Thanks to their creative thinking, I had power that same hour.

Installing the dishwasherA few years ago Bob and Gunnar brought my kitchen into the 21st century by installing a dishwasher. After five weeks of dishes-by-hand virtually around the clock while our family was together that year, I determined that before the relatives returned, I’d have a dishwasher.

As the two men worked, I learned that installing a dishwasher requires creative plumbing and electrical skills, as well as a rib cage strong enough to lean on the sharp edge of an under-sink cabinet for a long, long time.

 

Gunnar and BobOccasionally I heard them say, “Oh oh,” or “What about this?” as they worked half-in and half-out of the cabinet. But when I asked if there was a problem, they laughed and said, “It’ll all be fine.” And it was.

The first time Bob and Gunnar fixed something for us years ago, I remember saying, “Thanks for the help. I’m sure you’d rather do other things  with your afternoon.”

Bob’s interesting retort was, “This is what we like to do.” Because they’ve solved problems for me again and again, I know it’s true.

These men are retired, but not really. They’ve just shifted their work focus. Both love the Lord wholeheartedly and spend a great deal of time volunteering at the church and on outreach projects near and far.

Bob and GunnarThey’ve been first responders to disaster scenes all over the world during their “retirement,” doing whatever needed doing when they got there.

I see these two as the hands and feet of Jesus, putting the interests of “neighbors” ahead of their own. Lucky for me, they often choose to make it a beautiful day for the widow right next door.

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself’.” (Matthew 22:37-38)