Monthly Archives: July 2014

Flight of Time

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One of my favorite singers, Eydie Gorme, sang a song so thought-provoking that several years ago I wrote out the lyrics and filed them in a manila folder under “Time”, which was the name of her song.

She sang, “Back when I was young and summer was forever, ‘good’ was your first name.”

Nate on Healey StreetFor most people, good times fill their youthful years, along with hope for a happy future. I love looking at this picture of Nate taken in early 1971, because seeing him there in our first apartment, dressed as he is, floods my mind with good-time-memories. He was finishing law school, and I was teaching first grade. Although we had very few possessions and minimal money, it was all good times.

And then the clock began moving, ticking even as we slept. Nate graduated, we moved, he became a lawyer, I became a stay-at-home mommy. Seven kids grew up, went to college, moved away, and made us proud. We had weddings and then grandchildren. And in what seemed like a quick minute, time ended, at least for Nate. And my time as his wife ended, too.

Eydie sang, “Time, when did you begin trading your tomorrows for worn out just-todays?”

In January of 2010, when I’d been a widow for three months, I remember sitting in a chair at twilight, my hands in my lap, doing absolutely nothing but listening to the tick-tock of a wall clock. Immobilized by sadness, I didn’t know what to do. It seemed appropriate to just listen to time slipping away. I was worn out by grief, and life had morphed into a series of “worn out just-todays.”

The same wall clock is still ticking today, but I’m feeling much better. Sitting in a chair doing nothing isn’t something I want anymore. I remember Mom saying, as a new widow, “Life will never be the same.” I’m sure that thought floats through the mind of every new widow or widower who has had a satisfying marriage. It dominated my thinking for a long time, too.

It’s true that life can never be the same after a mate dies, and I know I’ll never stop wondering what today, tomorrow or next year would have been like, had Nate been with us. But today, tomorrow and next year can be good again. It’ll just be in new ways.

Eydie sang, “Time, you rolled into years, years that left me walking, when you began to fly.”

WalkingTime is indeed flying, and I may be walking rather than flying, but sometimes a long walk can turn out to be a really good time.

“The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong… but time and chance happen to them all.” (Eccl. 9:11)

Praying and Praising with Mary

  1. I’m thankful my nausea is mild after today’s chemo. Also, my painful feeding tube will most likely be replaced next week.
  2. Pray for strength and energy to cope with non-stop commitments for a week or so.

Trust Like a Tot

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It was God’s delightful idea to make miniature people and send them to bigger people to raise, a phenomenal plan. And he intends for us big people to learn a great deal from the little ones.

To be a child is to be something spectacular, a person who exhibits innocence, submission, trustfulness. These characteristics are especially true in one-year-olds. I’m privileged to have two of them among my grandchildren, Nicholas, from England, and Skylar, from Florida. And it’s been my joy for the last couple of weeks to have Skylar staying at my address. (This is a re-post from June, 2010.)

I’ve never known a more enthusiastic person than this one-year-old. She’s up for anything, which includes trying strange foods, meeting new people, petting any animal, and swimming in Lake Michigan. When others are hesitant, Skylar is eager.

DIGITAL IMAGEThe other day Klaus was enjoying Skylar at the beach, asking her if she wanted “to fly.” Of course she did, and he began throwing her as high as his arms could do it. She squealed with laughter, never doubting for an instant he’d catch her securely every time. Klaus ran out of energy long before Skylar ran out of wanting to be tossed.

The picture we snapped that day exemplifies perfect trust. Skylar’s face is devoid of worry, and she’s able to take pleasure in an event that actually has the potential to turn out badly for her. She knows how it feels to get splashed in the face or get water up her nose but isn’t thinking of those “what ifs.” Instead she’s trusting all things will work together for good. Have we heard that someplace before?

For those of us who are God’s children, our relationship with him is based on trusting him 100% without injecting doubt by unnecessary “what ifs.” We trust the Gospel to be true (see John 3:16) and strive to base our lives on trusting God the Father and Jesus the Son, one-on-one. But there’s the rub: we strive.

We think, “What if he looks away and doesn’t catch me? What if I plunge under water? What if he doesn’t act on time? What if he catches me but the landing hurts? What if I’m too heavy for him to hold me tight?”

Here’s a better what-if than all of those: “What if we could all trust God like one-year-olds trust us?”

We’d probably all know how to fly.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I praise The Lord for a relaxing weekend away from cities, noise and hospitals.
  2. Please pray for perseverance. I find myself dreading chemo-Mondays and Tuesdays more and more. Tomorrow is #7.

Happy Freedom

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Patriotic FlowersThis weekend is all about red, white and blue. Mom trained us well, and we, in turn, trained our kids: dress patriotically even if it’s out of style, and yes, a Cubs shirt is just fine.

Our family, like many others, loves the colorful part of the holidays: red and pink for Valentine’s Day, yellow and purple for Easter, etc. Today it’s all about stars and stripes, flags and fireworks. Never mind that Nelson nearly lost his hand when a firecracker exploded too soon years ago. We still set them off with oooh’s and aaah’s after our hamburgers and baked beans.

But the 4th of July isn’t just about outfits and explosives. Yesterday I listened to a radio reading of the Declaration of Independence. Most of it is a list of the offenses suffered by the colonists under the rule of a British king. But the introduction and conclusion of the document describe the freedom these people craved. After paying the price of a bloody war, they finally won self-rule and independence. The 13 newly formed states became the beginning of our free nation.

Declaration of IndependenceIt’s interesting that the Declaration’s first section, The Preamble, includes what may be the most memorized sentence in our country. It’s the one that starts with, “We hold these truths to be self-evident…” God is mentioned as the Creator and humankind as “the created.”

Most interesting to me, however, is the end of this sentence that says the colonists believed all citizens had the right to pursue personal happiness. It further described what should happen to a government if that pursuit is thwarted: at a minimum, it should be altered, but if that doesn’t work, it should be abolished completely. A new government should be formed that “shall seem most likely to affect their safety… and happiness.”

I’m extremely thankful I live in the USA and can live within the freedoms mentioned in the Declaration of Independence. One of them is that I’m free to decide whether or not to make happiness a life objective. I don’t often wrestle with this, since putting myself last on the happy-list is difficult. On rare occasions when I do it, though, the strangest thing happens. Happiness results. It’s one of life’s thought-provoking illogicalities.

Today I’ve made an effort to count my blessings, and living in a free land is high on the list. I’m thankful for those who fought for my freedom and the 238 years American citizens have enjoyed its abundance. But the best freedom of all is my option to openly follow God’s recommendations for finding happiness. And his declaration, the Bible, trumps even the very important Declaration of Independence.

“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. With great joy we announce grandbaby #11 arriving in January to son Andrew and wife Kim!
  2. I’m thankful for a safe and meaningful trip to Minnesota for the 4th of July.