Monthly Archives: July 2014

Resembling Who?

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A while ago I was searching for an eyeglass case to protect sunglasses in a beach bag. Since Nate was always careful with his glasses, I looked in his top dresser drawer, which I haven’t completely emptied yet. Sure enough, there were five snap-shut cases.

ScissorsOne had reading glasses in it. Two had prescription sunglasses. One was empty, and the fifth surprised me. Inside was a small, shiny pair of scissors.

Throughout the years of fathering 7 children, Nate had had trouble hanging onto a small pair of scissors he kept in our bathroom medicine cabinet and blamed different kids for its repeated disappearance. Eventually he’d always head to Walgreens to buy another one. Today I inadvertently discovered how he’d finally solved his dilemma. He’d hidden a scissors in a glasses case, which made me laugh.

Why did he want tiny scissors anyway? In all the years we were married, though I often heard about his scissors disappearing, I never asked what he was cutting. But now I know.

CombTucked in with the scissors was a tiny comb resembling a Barbie doll accessory that triggered a memory of  something that happened years ago.

We were enjoying a wedding reception when a young girl had approached Nate, asking if she could take his picture. Would he mind? His quizzical look made her finish his thought. “…because you look just like Donald Trump!”

Nate reluctantly agreed, even when the young photographer asked him to point his finger and say, “You’re fired!” He did it, albeit without enthusiasm. The rest of us enjoyed the moment far more than he did.

miss usa arrivals 120408Lookalike....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the way home he said, “I hope that picture doesn’t turn up on the internet.” But my surprise came when he added, “I get that all the time.”

“You get what all the time?”

“Get taken for Donald Trump.”

And that, I decided, was what the mini-comb and scissors were all about. When his brows got bushy and the likeness became strong, he’d trim and comb them neatly. He wasn’t interested in being taken for Donald Trump.

Folklore says everybody has a double. I don’t believe it, because God is creative enough not to have to “ditto” anyone. But the concept of doubles is intriguing. Celebrity look-alike contests abound, and the side-by-side photos grab our attention. Some people develop flourishing careers based on looking like someone they’re not.

In reality, each of us is exactly who God made us to be, and he wants us to be ourselves, with one exception. He gives permission, actually urges us, to be a look-alike of one other person: him. Although we don’t need a scissors or comb to develop the resemblance, we do need something much more difficult to acquire: a non-stop attitude of sacrificial love.

Too bad that’s not available at Walgreens.

“Imitate God… in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Please pray for tomorrow morning’s tube procedure to relocate it. I pray the pain will be gone but am trying not to get my hopes up.
  2. Praise God for answered prayer that the nausea is once again mild.

Getting to Know You

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About a year after Nate died, I discovered something new about him. Actually, two things.

FlashbackA guest at our home stumbled across a copy of “The Flashback,” a school yearbook published in 1958. It has Nate’s name printed on the inside flap, and his picture is on several of its 55 pages. Apparently Churchill Junior High School was brand new that year, opening its doors to 1000 students 57 years ago, on September 3, 1957. I went on line and learned the school is still functioning, although today it isn’t labeled “state of the art” as it was in the fifties.

Paging through the yearbook is a visual of American history. Girls wore skirts or dresses with saddle shoes and rolled down socks. The rule, wrote one girl, was “blouses tucked in or a trip to the advisor’s office.” The boys had short hair, tucked shirts, belts, slacks, no blue jeans.

Football teamSo, what did I learn about Nate?

First, I never knew he played football! I did know of his interest in the high school newspaper (the editor) and the debate team (the captain) but was surprised to see him kneeling in the second row with the team (far left). In 40 years of marriage I never saw Nate toss a football, and he attended school games only to see Hans play in the marching band.

The second surprise was his keen interest in girls. At the age of 12, he was already watching carefully. His yearbook has a penciled X next to the faces of those he considered cute and a line under their names. He’d highlighted eight girls in all.

I loved reading the farewell messages on the autograph pages, particularly the note from a buddy who mentioned one of the X-ed girls: “Nathan. To a good friend who kept me up (April 12, Sunday morning) to 2:00 AM on Marilyn and her features. Lots of Luck. Bruce.” Had I seen this gem a year ago, I would have asked Nate a few questions.

None of us can know everything about somebody else, not even a long-term spouse. That’s because we’re good at covering things up, and we don’t especially want to be fully known. But Scripture tells us God does know us fully, like it or not. It doesn’t affect what he feels about us, though, and what he feels is intense love.

Nothing we do surprises him or changes his mind about us. This is a huge relief, because it means we don’t have to play games or hide anything from him.

Yearbook photoI’m sure the 12-year-old Nate hid his feelings from Marilyn and never let her know how enamored he was of her “features”. But all in all, it’s probably best that she never knew.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Chemo #8 went as usual today. I’m thankful for answered prayer about side effects continuing to be mild. Thank you!
  2. I praise God for generous, encouraging friends!

In a Timely Manner

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Train couponMany months after Nate died, I came across an expired coupon worth $8.00. The title read, “NICTD CONFIRMATION OF A LATE TRAIN.” Google let me know that NICTD stood for Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District, and it was clear what had happened.

Before Nate and I moved to SW Michigan in 2009, he had commuted to Chicago’s Loop from the suburbs for 37 years. After we moved, he still traveled to the Loop, but from the opposite direction, riding the South Shore Line from Michigan City.

Although Nate often bragged about the punctual Chicago trains, apparently the NICTD didn’t have the same track record. Many late trains coaxed them to establish a coupon system offering passengers a pay-back for extreme tardiness. Along the side of Nate’s coupon it reads, “60+MINUTES LATE.” That’s a woefully overdue train.

The cross-shaped punches in Nate’s coupon indicate he was on board this “at least 60+ minutes late” train on his fourth commuting day. With his back in severe pain and his body suffering from hidden pancreatic cancer, he must have been beyond miserable while the train sat on a track neither here nor there.

I can tell from Nate’s oversized handwriting on the coupon that he was frustrated. I don’t know why he never redeemed it, surely intending to do so on principle. He used to say that when someone contracts to be on time, they should be, and each ticket purchased is a mini-contract.

Nate was always on time. If he was late for anything, it was because I had something to do with it, an aggravation during our early years together. He was right to be punctual, and I was wrong to be late. But as married people learn to do when compromise doesn’t work, one partner gives in, and with us it was Nate. I wish I’d tried harder to pull myself together.

South Shore LineBut God was watching, appreciating Nate’s desire to be on time. I say that because God is never late, and we are to emulate him. He usually waits to act until we think he is late, but when he comes through, it’s always spectacular. In this, he’s trying to teach us it’s important to be on time.

Those who’ve mastered punctuality on earth have already stockpiled treasure in heaven. Nate gets double credit for his efforts, because he put the interests of his wife ahead of his own by giving me grace. But both “early people” and “late people” will get some time-related perks in paradise. The “earlies” will never again have to struggle with the “lates”, and the “lates” will have all the time they need.

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand. (Psalm 31:14-15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. As I receive infusion #8 tomorrow, I thank you for praying against nausea.
  2. My extra-busy week continues through this week as well. Thank you for your prayers for stamina and proper rest.