Monthly Archives: October 2012

Making It Through

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When this blog site was established, widowhood was the farthest thing from my thinking. Illness wasn’t on my mind either, nor was radical life change. I just wanted to practice my writing, see if I could meet my own deadlines, and spend extra time with my keyboard.

Now, 3+ years later, I marvel at how this small blog has morphed into a classroom with readers teaching me and each other. As they do their best to get through this, whatever “this” is, they’ve willingly shared wisdom by way of comments and emails to benefit us all.

Because my own getting through has been my husband’s death and its resulting widowhood, many other widows have joined me in these posts, most of whom have been new acquaintances. Back at the beginning I had no idea that a simple blog could yield new relationships.

Other widows have taught me unique truths, even in the midst of the shock and sadness of their first year alone. As they’ve posted powerful comments, they’ve influenced others, some of whom aren’t widows or even women. Every reader wants to know how to get through, and nothing shows us as well as the story of someone who’s been knocked down but is testifying from an “up” position. We think, “If she can do it, so can I.”

One cyber-friend speaking from an “up” position (despite being a widow for only 6 months) sent a short list detailing what she’d learned. Her insight hit me over the head (in a good way, of course) and is an excellent summary of why anyone struggling to get through something can look to God for rescue. She wrote:

The Lord smiles at 3 things:

  1. when I say, “I give up.”
  2. when the experts say, “There’s no way.”
  3. when his children say, “Yes, we’ll wait.”

These 3 statements speak volumes about God’s character and why we can trust him to successfully get us through whatever is threatening to hold us back. In a practical sense,

  1. when we say, “I give up,” he says, “I’ll take over now.”
  2. when we say, “There’s no way!” he says, “Watch me make one.”
  3. when we say, “I’ll try to be patient,” he says, “I’ll make it worth it.”

Receiving this kind of wisdom from blog readers is a priceless bonus I never expected. And with the above thoughts, I’ve been given 3 things I can do to put a smile on God’s face.

Greater wisdom than that can’t be found anywhere.

“Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.” (Psalm 72:18)

 

Lookout Point

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In August of 1972, Tim Taylor, a 13 year old Boy Scout, hiked alone up a mountain peak in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. He wasn’t technically alone, since his scout troop was down the mountain a ways, enjoying a rest on their 3-day camping trip.

When Tim noticed that his topographical map had no name for that particular peak, he wondered if any human had ever been up there. That’s all it took for him to lace on his hiking boots and go. Once he reached the summit, he marked his milestone by writing a note and folding it into a small metal film canister, tucking it near the base of a massive rock.

One month ago another hiker, maybe just the second person to reach that spot, found the rusted canister, now 40 years old. The note, “looking like it was written yesterday,” said:

“TIM TAYLOR CLIMBED TO THIS PEAK, AUGUST 17, 1972, AGE 13 YEARS. ANYONE FINDING THIS PLEASE WRITE…” In an effort to be thorough he also wrote, “HEIGHT OF PEAK: 12785.”

The 2012 hiking party (a grandfather, son, and grandson) searched for Tim Taylor, now age 53, for over a month. No one at the old address had heard of him, but an article posted on the front page of the local paper jogged the memory of former neighbors and friends, and they notified Tim, who was astounded.

“It’s been a fun week!” Taylor said during an interview. When asked if he’d recently thought about his 1972 note, he said he’d wondered about it, off and on, throughout the years.

Surely as a boy he thought a great deal about the little canister sitting on the mountaintop, sometimes covered with snow, other times baking in the sun. Had anyone found it? Had it blown away? Was it still closed tight? Was the note ok?

Tim had questions, but of course the only one with the answers was God. He had his eye on the canister throughout those years, just as he has his eye on each of us at all times. As my mom used to say, “God keeps the books.” In other words, he’s watching over all parts of his world and all of us, all at once, all the time.

This is good news for people who quietly go about doing the right thing without being noticed. It’s bad news for those who do the bare minimum or act with wrong motives or cause damage. Nothing can be hidden from God, though he does encourage us hide ourselves…. in him.*

So what about Tim Taylor? Today he’s a San Diego County Superior Court Judge, probably writing lots of notes. Though he isn’t ready to retire, I’ll bet when he does, he’ll be lacing up his hiking boots and heading for that unnamed mountain.

* “You [Lord] are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.” (Psalm 32:7)

There’s a limit.

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Having been raised by a “yes-mom,” I wanted to be one too, but sometimes that got me into trouble. Like the time I agreed to let Louisa own a couple of piranhas. But my “yes” was for a good reason: a school science project. Her plan was to see if piranhas were as ferocious as everyone said they were, by watching and charting their eating habits.

We went to the local fish store, and the proprietor led us to a divided tank where two piranhas lived. While he netted and bagged them, Louisa and I listened to his fish stories, which were entertaining until he stuck his finger in front of our noses and said, “See this big notch? A piranha tried to eat me once.”

But Louisa’s two fish were already bagged, so with wide eyes, we left the store.

Apparently piranhas will eat anything, gobbling up other fish, plants, whatever looks tasty. They’ll even attack prey larger than they are, including (gulp) humans, if they have the chance.

Louisa faithfully fed her piranhas by adding several goldfish to the tank each day, careful not to get too close when she did, and little by little, the goldfish disappeared. It was impossible to watch the piranhas eating them, though, since they wouldn’t dine while she was in the room. Eventually she left a video camera running and did catch them eating, on film. The camera, however, couldn’t detail the lightning fast attack-and-gulp of those piranhas. Each kill happened in a split second.

Louisa’s piranha project didn’t yield too much scientific data, but it did deliver an unexpected conclusion. A few days after she had stopped taping, she walked into her room and saw that one piranha had eaten the other.

These fish have insatiable appetites, along with strong determination to satisfy them, no matter what. Sadly, we humans often operate the same way, going to great lengths to satisfy our desires, and I don’t mean just with food but in all categories. Walking that center line between wanting something good and pursuing too much of it is a difficult place to live, but that’s usually the exact spot where God wants us. The question is, why?

Maybe he’s assigned us the difficult job of setting limits for ourselves so we’ll have repeated opportunities to be victorious. Then, as we’re willing to work on it, he roots for us, offering help along the way and hoping we’ll succeed.

After Louisa’s science fair ended (without a blue ribbon), she had wanted to keep the remaining piranha as a pet, but I was nervous about housing such a vicious animal. So we brought him back to the store, for lack of any other ideas of how to get rid of him. The guy took one look and said, “Whoa! How much did you feed this guy? He’s 4 times bigger than he should be!”

And I guess that’s a good reminder that giving in to big appetites only leads to bigger ones.

“Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. [God] tempts no one.” (James 1:14,13)