Monthly Archives: August 2012

Dear Nate,

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Yesterday was your birthday, or at least it would have been, had you lived. You died a few weeks after we turned 64 (ten days apart), and this year I turned 67 without you.

Remember how we always celebrated together? The kids would plan a “double-whammy” party, complete with a treasure hunt for our gifts. Their enthusiasm rubbed off on us, and before we knew it we were playing all their silly games with gusto.

The birthday cakes they concocted tasted pretty good coming from such young bakers, but of course even earthly angel food cake could never match whatever heavenly food you’re enjoying now. Maybe you don’t have to eat at all, but my bet is you’re partaking of all kinds of delectable goodies.

Since you left us, life has changed considerably for our family. Four new grandchildren have been added, with another due 8 weeks from today. I wonder what you’d think about Birgitta’s unplanned baby. Although we’re predicting a mix of happiness and struggle, you probably see it differently. Since you live free of calendar dictatorship and the bondage of the clock, maybe you’ve already met this 7th grandchild. While we wait, you may know.

I think often about you, sometimes every hour, always wondering what you’re doing. This morning I was remembering Jesus’ departure from earth to heaven, relating to the disappointment of the disciples who loved him so much. He said, “You can’t go where I’m going,” and they must have been miserable, wondering how they were going to live without him.

I know just how they felt.

When you left the earth, I couldn’t accompany you either. But Jesus encouraged his disappointed disciples by saying, “If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father.” (John 14:28) As unhappy as I was when you first left, I can now genuinely say, “Because I love you, I’m glad you’ve gone to the Father.” Besides, my turn will come, just as it did for all the disciples.

You probably know that these days I’m not blogging about you nearly as much on my web site. Sometimes I feel funny about that, but it’s happening because my heart is feeling much better. I rarely think about your cancer anymore but dwell more on our good times together. Paging through old photo albums this week has made me appreciate you more than ever, and I wish I had thanked you more often, when I had the chance.

I’m glad I can write this letter while thinking about you and your special day, August 18. Although you’ll never again go on a treasure hunt for your presents, surely that doesn’t matter now. These days every minute of every day is found-treasure for you.

“I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord.” (Isaiah 45:3)

An Abundant Life?

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Today I met a train Nelson stepped off of after being abroad for a month. My oldest son is a well-traveled man, having literally circumnavigated the globe, making lots of stops along the way. He flies over oceans like I drive to Walmart and never tires of travel, even in 3rd world settings. This is partly because creature-comforts aren’t that important to him.

Years ago Nelson said he hoped never to own more than could fit into one suitcase. Though he’s owned and operated a couple of businesses since then which necessitated larger-than-suitcase possessions, for the most part he’s remained close to his goal.

Nelson has experienced the freedom that comes with owning little. Granted, he doesn’t have a family with its accompanying need for “stuff,” but living life with a focus on trimming possessions to a minimum is a worthy objective for any of us. But keeping life simple isn’t easy, and because we so often fail at this, an entire industry has been developed to help us.

Life coaches guide individuals in the how-to’s of uncomplicating their lives, and TV’s reality shows about hoarding show us what can happen if we don’t. Most of us know deep down that we’re just one garage-full away from the same out-of-control scenario.

So we buy books and magazines that promise solutions to our overstuffed lives: Real Simple, Simplify Everything, How to Simplify Your Life, and Everything You Wanted to Know about Simplifying Your Life. Cover art for these publications stands out as different from the rest. Just looking at them makes us relax our jaws and take a breath.

And that’s the thing about simplifying: it stands out; we stand out. Living an uncluttered life of minimums goes against the grain of a society that’s currently promoting consumerism, accumulation, and the maxim that “he who has the most toys wins.” To live simply requires backbone enough to buck the norm.

When we moved from Illinois to Michigan in 2009, I learned how hard it was to simplify. Two packed houses had to be trimmed to fit one, which meant parting with lots and lots of possessions. The many resulting mini-separations produced stress, but when it was all over, our lives had been streamlined to our benefit. It felt much like going on a diet and losing all the excess weight. Lighter meant less, and less was simpler, and simpler felt pretty good.

Self-control is one of the gifts God’s Spirit is willing to give us if we’ll be intentional about following his lead, and in the case of simplifying, that translates to keeping a tight rein on accumulation. After all, Jesus didn’t even own enough to fill one suitcase.

And speaking of suitcases, it sure is nice to have Nelson home again. It didn’t take any time at all for him to settle in. When you live light, unpacking is easy.

“One’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” (Luke 12:15)

Needing Help

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Tonight my blog site has a few additions: the cover of my book and a photo of Jack and me at the beach. My accommodating son-in-law, Adam, has faithfully managed www.GettingThroughThis.com since its inception three years ago and has been my go-to guy for problems of any kind.

Now, as a result of his fine work, my little devotional book is available in the margin and can be ordered by clicking on any of the web addresses beneath its picture. It will be ready for shipping next week, and my prayer has been and will continue to be that people who are swamped with grief over losing a mate will secure a copy and be uplifted by the short daily devotionals inside.

When I first posted on this web site, I had no idea I’d one day write a book that would be available in the margin. But then again I had no idea back then that widowhood would be the subject line. Of course God saw all of that and even now sees what might be posted in the margin next year at this same time. None of us should put anything past God’s doing.

One thing I’ve learned, though, is that whenever God puts opportunity in our path, he also puts helpers and encouragers there, too. Adam has been both of those for me in my relationship with this web site. Over time he has good-naturedly taught me how to use its features, and that has meant many repeated explanations of the same web task, over and over.

But Adam is a patient young man, and never once has he criticized his non-techy mother-in-law for being a slow learner. Because of that I don’t ever hesitate to ask him new questions, and I never worry he might respond harshly. God was the one who put him next to me in this web undertaking, and in these three years I’ve gotten to know him well enough to believe that even when I’m not around, he isn’t complaining about me. The fact that he married into our family was, as Nate often said, “a home run.”

Adam has taught us all by his example. He’s been willing to be used of the Lord in the lives of others, and because of that, God has used him. And the good news is that any of us can follow suit and experience that same lofty privilege of being a tool in God’s hands. So if we want our lives to count for something valuable, something permanent, all we need to do is tell the Master, “I’m available” (as Adam has), and God will do the rest.

“If anyone purifies himself from anything dishonorable, he will be a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” (2 Timothy 2:21)