Monthly Archives: August 2012

Balancing Act

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My grandson Micah was recently gifted with something I’d never seen before: a balancing bike. It resembles a small two-wheeler but has no pedals and relies on push-power to move.

Although Micah is only two, he took to it immediately and has learned to sail down the length of his driveway without taking a tumble. He shoves off, then lifts his feet, and whoosh, down he goes, managing the tricky art of balancing. At some point he’ll want a traditional bike with pedal-power, but for now he and his wheels are inseparable.

Parents find themselves coaching their young children to learn several other balance-related maneuvers too, the first of which is learning to sit up at about 6 months. After that it’s walking, pumping a swing, rollerblading, ice skating, and others, all needing balancing expertise.

Certain kids take to balancing naturally (like Micah) while others need prolonged assistance and encouragement. After children master the physical art of balancing (say, their pre-teen years), they’re ready for the much harder task of balancing their lives. For some, even that comes easily, but the rest of us struggle, wobbling or even crashing completely once in a while.

And that’s where God comes in.

Children don’t need him to hold the seat of a two-wheeler or run alongside, because he’s given that assignment to parents. His balance-assistance is for grown-ups, since we’re the ones so often doing it poorly by ourselves.

Years ago The Tonight Show’s host, Johnny Carson, invited a plate-spinning comedian to perform one of those chaotic demonstrations we all love, but this performer was absolutely the best. He kept a dozen plates spinning atop wiggly sticks while balancing three more on his forehead, nose, and chin.

Surely he’d had a triple-espresso before coming on stage. His body was a blur as he leapt back and forth along the sticks, rescuing some just seconds before they threatened to crash to the floor. He was a balancing aficionado.

Of course this isn’t what God means when he asks us to bring balance to our lives. But plate-spinning mania is often the way we feel day-to-day while trying to meet our varied commitments. So what do we do?

We follow Micah’s example, tackling one balancing act at a time. If he’d started with a balancing bike, a pedal bike, and a mountain bike all at once, he’d have been in for some nasty road rash. The same goes for spinning plates. Few is preferable to frenetic, and with the first broken plate, back-pedaling is our only solution.

All of us have limits on what we can accomplish, limited time, energy, money, motivation, skills. But if we let God hand us exactly what he wants us to balance, he’ll never let us tip out of balance. After that, if we add any “plates” against his advice, it won’t be long before we’ll need a broom, a dust pan, and a revised balancing-plan from the Lord.

“Letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

Label it love.

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Most women love to be romanced, and most men are completely confused about what that looks like. One reason for the disconnect is that romantic behavior usually doesn’t mean much to a man. He thinks it’s silly, even stupid. (Of course, a wise man doesn’t  mention that.)

I well remember the time I concocted an elaborate plan to gift Nate with a romantic evening. I arranged for our then-three children to sleep at their cousins’ house overnight and worked hard cleaning, cooking, and filling the house with flowers, candles, and music.

I bought new bed sheets and sprinkled them with spices. (That idea came from the Bible.) Nate reacted positively and thanked me profusely, but his responses probably would have been just as enthusiastic without all the romantic touches.

Male-female relationships have been a challenge since Eden. When Adam and Eve were booted out after tasting the forbidden fruit, no doubt Adam blamed Eve for taking the bait, and Eve blamed Adam for not stopping her. Couples have been squabbling ever since.

In the beginning, Eden’s Garden was a perfect place, and its citizens were sinless. We’re not sure if that lasted 10 eons, 10 years, or 10 minutes, but originally the first couple lived in perfect harmony. What fun that must have been, to enjoy marriage without a single difference of opinion. Each received from the other exactly what he/she needed, and the battle of the sexes didn’t exist.

God hadn’t yet needed to define agape (undeserved) love, since both Eve and Adam deserved the perfect love they received from each other. These days, however, undeserved love is rarely given, and the love we do give has labels: sacrificial love, brotherly love, enduring love, childlike love, patient love, sexual love, romantic love.

And selfish love.

All of us have occasionally loved selfishly, which simply means that on the other side of it, there was something in it for us. In a way, that’s what my gift to Nate was. Since he’d never arranged an elaborate romantic evening like that for me, I put something together based on my own desires and labeled it a gift for him.

Someday, though, when we’re all living in a New Eden, labeled love will be obsolete. Each of us will know how to love like Adam and Eve did (before that fateful bite of fruit), loving perfectly and without limits. We won’t even have to work at it.

Meanwhile, we do have to work at it and should be intentional about loving each other. Even then, probably the best we can do is label-love. One thing we can rejoice about now, though, is that God’s love for us is an Eden-kind of love already, since it’s absolutely perfect in every way. After all…

“God is love.” (1 John 4:8)

Ok, c’mon.

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The stairway in my cottage was last refurbished 40 years ago. (Think indoor-outdoor floral carpeting of kiwi green and sunshine yellow.) By leaving it in place we’ve seriously dated our decorating taste, but we kinda like it.

At the top of the stairs is a wooden swing-gate that’s “always been there.” If  opened, its tight metal spring quickly snaps it closed, assuring that both young and old won’t fall down the stairs. We all like that idea, except for one:

Jack.

When I go upstairs to write, I usually close the door at the bottom of the stairs so Jack doesn’t follow me. If he has dirty paws or plans to beg for treats or pester for a walk, it’s preferable that he not be upstairs. But once in a while, he noses the door open anyway and makes his way up. At the top, though, he’s stopped by the gate.

Jack is a big dog and could easily push it aside but usually just waits with pleading eyes, hoping someone will come along to open up for him. We wondered why he didn’t nudge his way through, since he often does that with other doors.

One day we decided to spy. When no one came to help, eventually he did get the gate open but not like we thought. Because the spring quick-snaps it closed, he had to shove hard with his nose, then endure a whack in the face on its rapid return, before sharply shoving it a second time to squeak through. Ouch.

On the days when I invite him to come upstairs, it’s a different story. No waiting. No pleading. No nose-shoving. No face whacks. When I  say, “Ok, Jack, c’mon,” he can bound up the steps, and at the top the gate is swung wide for him.

Jack’s “wait-or-whack” relationship with the gate reminds me of the Lord’s relationship with me. I often question which way I should go, much like Jack wonders if he can come upstairs. When I don’t get God’s go-ahead (which is probably his “not now”), I move forward anyway.

I proceed “up the steps” or in whatever direction I want to go, only to find I’m blocked when I get there. I can quickly interpret those spoiled plans as God being unfair or leading me astray, but of course he didn’t lead me there at all.

At other times I might pray for God’s guidance, then find doors of opportunity suddenly closing. When that happens, he’s probably telling me “no”, but just like Jack, if I want it bad enough, I’ll force the doors open, and whack. Ouch.

It’s taking time, but slowly I’m learning that the best way to “get upstairs” or to reach a goal I’m shooting for is to wait until the One in charge looks at me and says, “Ok, Margaret, c’mon.”

“I am the Lord, who opened a way…” (Isaiah 43:16)