Yearly Archives: 2010

Family Updates, Part I: Children

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Our seven children and two children-in-law are far-flung these days, but of course no one actually flung them. They are where they are because they made plans to be there. Many have asked, “Where is so-and-so now? What is he/she doing?” So here are the answers:

Nelson – After leaving our cottage last December 31, he joined the leadership of Youth With A Mission on what’s called an Around the World Discipleship Training School (DTS), based in New Zealand. He helped prepare students over a three month period for their global journey pursuing various mission projects in the months following. They began in South Africa and worked their way north to Morocco, ending in Jerusalem. They debriefed in Egypt, and this week Nelson is in Amman, Jordan. After a stop in England, he’ll arrive back at the cottage on Labor Day weekend, planning to lead another Around the World DTS in 2011.

Lars –When we learned of Nate’s cancer last September, he accepted an offer to transfer from his San Diego insurance company to a branch office in the Chicago area, in order to be near us. Working hard in a difficult sales market, he visits me often and frequently entertains friends from San Diego. He’s been my mainstay on paperwork and personal financial stuff, having a head for numbers that I don’t have.

Linnea and Adam – Living in Florida, they have visited me often since Nate died and will return again in September. During that month they’ll celebrate their 7th anniversary. Adam continues to work in the family contracting business, which is bouncing back after the difficult days most builders have experienced in recent years. Linnea is a stay-at-home mommy to Skylar and Micah, who will be the subject of tomorrow’s Part II update.

Klaus – Logistically closest to me, he lives one mile away and pops in regularly, asking, “Need anything done?” It’s reassuring to know help is nearby, when I need it. He works for a cousin-in-law in the building industry and is enjoying the extended family relationships that come along with the job.

Hans and Katy – They’re busy around the clock caring for three babies who all arrived in the same 15 month period. Hans is a gardener with more work than he needs, and also a school drum teacher. He teaches privately as well, with students coming to their house for lessons. Katy stays home with the little ones, who will be part of tomorrow’s Part II update on grandbabies. They’ve been married three years.

Louisa – This week she’s working on moving from Chicago to Michigan before leaving the midwest for a nine month school of intensive Bible study in Kona, Hawaii. She’ll be studying at the University of the Nations, which is the main campus of Youth With A Mission. Her coursework at the School of Biblical Studies (SBS) will finish in June of 2011.

Birgitta – Now settled in at the University of Iowa in Iowa City, she has begun an academic journey toward a degree in art therapy, a new and growing field of psychological counseling. After her year of working and living in Chicago near the Loop, school looks good again.

And those are our kids, Nate’s and mine. Although I started to write “those are my kids,” that just doesn’t seem right. Despite Nate’s absence, these 7 + 2 will always be “ours”. They have filled our coffers to overflowing.

”May the Lord bless you… all the days of your life; and may you live to see your children’s children.” (Psalm 28:5a,6a)

You just never know…

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Mom was born in 1912. Arriving several weeks prematurely, she was the fourth baby in her family. Because she was tiny, the doctor told her parents, “Don’t give her a name. She’s not going to make it, so you don’t want to get too attached.”

But Mom fooled everybody; she lived to be 92. You just never know…

Our firstborn nearly died at nine months with a case of croup we thought was just laryngitis. When he couldn’t sleep for all the coughing, we called the doctor, who sent us to the hospital. En route, the baby went limp, his eyes rolled back, and we were terrified.

Thanks to quick, discerning doctors, he lived, and after four days in the hospital, he slowly recuperated. When it was all over, Nate and I fell apart, realizing how close we’d come to losing our little guy. You just never know…

Fast forward to last year, when Nate and I relocated to Michigan. His plan had been to work full time until 2011, then subtract one work day each week for the next five years. But “untimely” cancer arrived, and 42 days later, our plans were shelved. Nate had died “ahead of schedule” at 64. We hadn’t planned on that, but you just never know…

None of us ever knows. The biblical character Methuselah lived to be 969 years old, but then King David’s new baby died.  Not one day is guaranteed to any of us. When we were born, God didn’t promise old age. Yet we find ourselves angry when someone is taken “before their time.” If they’ve died, though, it was their time. We just can’t know, because God doesn’t tell.

The Bible describes long life as a blessing, and everyone seems to want it. God sometimes rewarded righteous behavior by extending a life. Today, for those who passionately want to increase their time on earth, Scripture gives the how-to: obey everything God says.

At least five times the Lord plainly advises that keeping all his commands, decrees and statutes, and living by his wisdom, will lengthen life. We can’t know from what original end-date he’s computing that, but if we believe the Bible, obedience definitely brings additional time.

Mom was thankful for her long life and lived each day vigorously. But in her last years she often said, “Old age isn’t for sissies.” Troubles of all kinds pile high on the elderly, weighing them down with woe, and she was no exception. Maybe that’s why the genuinely righteous are the only ones who get their death-dates bumped; God knows that in order to handle those burdensome days, great stores of wisdom and godliness are a prerequisite. When we seek longevity, we’re signing up for the toughest challenge of our lives.

You just never know…    But then maybe it’s better that way.

”No man has power over the wind to contain it; so no one has power over the day of his death.” (Ecclesiastes 8:8)

Hide and Seek

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Most TV game shows are a study in psychology. No doubt a group of psych majors create competitions to outfox contestants by side-stepping their probable responses. I recall one game, however, that was straight forward and simple. The host walked through the audience waving a hundred dollar bill, looking for a willing participant.

Once he chose a woman to play, he might say, “Do you have a wooden match in your purse?” (…or a picture of a baby or a deck of cards?) If she produced the item he asked for, he’d hand her the $100. Occasionally someone would empty her purse right there on camera, flinging lipstick and keys in the laps of those nearby, frantic to find the winning item.

People say a woman’s biography can be written by the contents of her purse: pictures, pills, a wallet, money, make-up, pens, a phone, a key ring, glasses, receipts, a camera, gum, candy, credit cards, a comb. Each item has been carefully selected to be in the purse, and therein lies the biography.

This morning I needed some Post-it notes and opened Nate’s dresser drawer to get them. Although I’ve given away many of his things, the three top drawers in his high boy are exactly as he left them. And just like a woman’s purse, they say a great deal about who he was.

If you’re curious, read on: a lint roller, a hunting knife (in a leather case), a knife for filleting fish (also in a case), business cards (his own and others), three shoe horns, four pairs of black shoe laces, shirt collar stays, current contact info for our children, his watch (still ticking), one of my watches (not ticking, needing repair), 3×5 and 4×6 cards (for his Sunday notes to the kids), prescription glasses and their cases, a commuter train schedule, three pocket knives (small, medium and large), a tiny eyeglass fix-it kit, a gold tie clip with NIXON on it, pens galore, pencil lead in several sizes, refills for ball points and fountain pens, and a Wordless Book Gospel bracelet with a printed explanation of each colored bead.

As I fingered the items, everything inside of me nodded in recognition of my husband. The bottom line of his biography? Nate kept no secrets.

What if I’d found a bit of pornography hidden in the back? Or maybe an envelope of secret cash? There might have been mysterious phone numbers or names or web addresses.

Instead, every item made complete sense. Although Nate couldn’t have predicted that the contents of his drawers would be listed on the World Wide Web, he had nothing to hide. The list is clean.

Sometimes we operate as if we can hide things from God. In addition to stuff in our purses and drawers, we try to conceal the contents of our minds, a ridiculous sham. God can’t be deceived, tricked or conned. He sees it all.

I’ve asked myself, “Would I be happy with the contents of my drawers being listed on the web?” And more importantly, “Am I satisfied God is observing the thoughts in my head?” He says that one day everything hidden will be spotlighted, so this surely is food for thought.

Tonight I put everything back into Nate’s drawers, glad to know he was exactly who I thought he was: a man of upright character. And this fact offers sweet widow-comfort to me.

“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.” (Luke 12:12)