In a Round-about Way

When Skylar and Micah were here (ages 3 and 18 months), we frequently walked to a nearby playground to ride a small merry-go-round. It had no ponies, brass poles or circus music, just boards to sit on and painted pipes to hold. Their daddy spun it again and again, and we all enjoyed their grins and giggles.

One day we decided to give them a real merry-go-round ride and drove 20 minutes to a giant beachfront carousel. Although we’d talked about it ahead of time, seeing the massive horses (lions, birds and dinosaurs) concerned them. Both wore serious expressions as we waited in line.

When it was their turn, they were skeptical but did want a closer look. And then we were moving, the kids atop bejeweled steeds with their manes flying and teeth showing. At one point Skylar said, “Can I get off now?”

When it finally stopped, they were both eager to climb down, neither one wanting a second go-round, though back at home they continued to enjoy the simple playground version.

Sometimes less is more.

I discovered that after trying to condense two homes worth of stuff into one. Drawers were so packed they refused to close, and my china cabinet was no longer safe for breakables, which were stacked six deep. But when little by little I eliminated half of everything, open shelf space began to appear, and drawers functioned properly.

I can think of only one instance when more is always better: time spent with God. We’ve all heard Martin Luther’s statement about his daily prayer time. He prayed two hours every morning, unless he faced a busy day. Then he prayed three.

In this high speed era of fast-track education, instant availability, and microwavable dinners, slowing down enough to sit quietly with God for several hours seems unthinkable. Yet he’s the only one who controls the happenstance and opportunity of life. To spend time with him brings direct benefit to us.

But there is some 21st century good news waiting for us on the flip-side of Luther’s long prayer times. If we can’t possibly find two hours, a lesser period of intentional time works, too. God’s influence isn’t limited by less effort on our part.

For example, he can bring eternal life to someone through one scriptural phrase or redirect a life purpose through one whispered sentence. Such awesome work removes our guilt when we wish we could spend more time but just can’t make it happen. God doesn’t want us clocking minutes with him, just to match saints like Luther.

The principle is like being thrilled with a simple wooden merry-go-round, rather than riding on a jewel-studded carousel, anxious to get it over with.

Jesus prayed, “I have made you known to them, [Father], and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:26)

Dear Nate

I miss you.

Especially today, because it’s your birthday.

Sometimes my longing to be with you is so strong it grows into an ache that’s hard to handle. One day that longing will melt away, when I travel to be where you are now. That’s comforting.

Two years ago, you and I were still celebrating our birthdays together, an annual double-header. With only 10 days between us, we were the same age 355 days a year. But that calendar has aged me into 66; you locked in at 64. It’s hard to get old without my birthday-buddy.

In August of 2009, cancer wasn’t part of our lives. Mary and Bervin hosted a party for the two of us, remember? And despite ongoing back pain and a mysterious stomach ache, you smiled for the camera.

I never heard you complain about physical pain, not in 43 years of knowing you, but that summer you didn’t feel good. One day you even said you wondered if something other than back problems might be wrong. A month later we found out you were right.

Today I spent time praying about you. Of course you don’t need my prayers in Paradise, but I wanted to thank God for bringing you into my life and for choosing you as my husband, a man who was willing to love me with a 1st Corinthians 13 love as well as to father and support 7 children.

I also re-read journal pages from those days surrounding your birthday two years ago and found something utterly astounding. Your back had become so severe that the highlight of every day had been at 8 pm when you eased yourself onto the bed atop two ice packs placed at the small of your back.

I was concerned about our future, upset by your pain, and worrying about what God was doing (or not doing). So I wrote out a 3 page prayer to him, all about you. Here’s part of it:

Lord, please touch Nate’s body with your supernatural power, I pray. Lift this back misery right out of his life. I cry out to you to bring him to your feet, into your presence, Lord, fully dependent on you.

And that’s where I caught my breath, because that’s exactly what God did! Touched your body… lifted away your pain… brought you to Jesus’ feet… into his presence… dependent on him.

(I bet you’re getting a kick out of this,  probably laughing with joy. Oh how I miss your hearty laugh!)

I know you’re glad I read that journal today and made the God-connection, saw how he’d answered my prayers. Although your departure wasn’t my choice, I want you to know I’m doing ok (partly because I know you’re doing ok). All of the credit goes to God. I don’t know where I’d be without him…

…but I know you can say the same thing.

Happy Birthday, Nate. I love you.

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” (Psalm 90:17)

Can we fail?

This week my friend got some shocking news. Cancer has invaded several of her major organs, and short of God’s intervention, her prognosis is terminal.

Thankfully she’s a Christian and believes wholeheartedly that either way, live or die, cancer or healing, her faith in God will carry her through. And I hope it will.

Today I prayed for her out of Psalm 27: “The Lord is my light… I will fear no one… I will not be afraid… I will trust God… marvel at his goodness… ask for his guidance… triumph over my enemies… sing and praise Him.” I prayed these things would be true for her as the future unfolds and that her trust in God won’t weaken.

Apparently there’s a chance Christians can lose their faith. I don’t mean lose salvation, just their hope in the Lord. After a terminal cancer diagnosis, it’s easy to become downcast, weak or defeated. If that weren’t a possibility, Jesus himself wouldn’t have demonstrated how to pray against it.

In Luke 22, we see him detailing last minute instructions to his dearest friends, the 12 disciples. They’ve finished sharing the Passover meal and within minutes Jesus will leave the room and walk to Gethsemane where he’ll begin suffering intensely for you, for me, and for these 12.

His time on earth is running out, and surely there’s urgency in his voice, no doubt making the men uncomfortable. He tells them that shortly a friend will betray him, after which he’ll be intensely tortured, then forced to sacrifice his own body and blood.

Certainly the men, sitting in the glow of gentle lamp light with full bellies, don’t want to hear this. They quickly change the subject, but Jesus, possibly on the edge of irritation, needs their full attention and does his own subject-changing. “Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.” (v. 31, NLT)

And suddenly they’re hanging on his every word thinking, “You mean our names came up in a conversation between you and Satan?” This would alarm any of us. But it’s Jesus’ next statement that should have concerned them most. “I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail.”

We learn by following the story that despite Jesus having already prayed for Peter, he does fail, causing heartache for Jesus and anguish for Peter. How many of the others failed, too? How many lost hope in Jesus and behaved accordingly?  How many of us? What about my friend?

To know Jesus is praying strong faith into us today increases our determination to hang onto him tighter, no matter what’s going on around us… even if it’s terminal cancer.

I’m going to pray for my friend the same way Jesus prayed for his, that her faith won’t fail, from now until the very end.

“Teach me, Lord, what you want me to do, and lead me along a safe path. I know that I will live to see the Lord’s goodness in this present life.” (Psalm 27:11,13)