Category Archives: Marriage

Young Love (#105)

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November 1, 1969

As Nate and I drove the well-traveled road between our Champaign apartment and my folks’ Wilmette home, we realized it was the first day of November – our wedding month! Although we’d been engaged for only 4 months, the wait seemed forever. Neither of us had any second thoughts, and we could hardly wait till November 29.

From my journal: As for my feelings about getting married, I’m anticipating it with eagerness! Everyone says marriage is a challenge, but I can’t wait to get started. Over these last few months, I’ve gotten lots of valuable advice in hash-over sessions with Mary, Mom, my girlfriends, and others. I have a lot of theories about husbands and wives and am going to try them all out. Nate and I have also talked about sex a lot. Maybe that’s why we’ve been able to abstain thus far. But that wedding night? It’s going to be sweet!

Drake HotelAs we drove, we talked about our honeymoon, making the decision to spend all 4 days at Chicago’s historic Drake Hotel. The first night we decided we’d pay the extra price for a suite of two rooms but after that would move to a regular room. During the day we’d stroll the Chicago streets, do a little shopping, walk along Lake Michigan’s beaches, and “take naps” back at the hotel. In the evenings we’d eat out and attend one live show and a movie or two.

When we arrived at Mom and Dad’s, the kitchen was still torn up, and new appliances had been delivered…. to the living room. But Mom still wasn’t worried.

Kneeling benchDad was spending every free minute at Moody Church, supervising the installation of a new sound system suspended from the super-high ceiling. While he was there, new carpet had been laid on the steps leading to the lower platform where we would be married, and a new kneeling bench had arrived. The church had also ordered new white cloth runners for the very long double aisles in the sanctuary, and they too had been delivered.

As soon as we stepped into Mom’s front door she said, “Wait’ll you see this!” She led us to the garage where a long table was piled high with tiny white boxes about 3 inches square. Our names and the wedding date were printed on the lids. “Groom’s cake!” she said. She explained how her friends had spent 3 evenings folding all 500 boxes.

Fruit cake“And I’ve ordered 104 pounds of fruit cake. When it gets here we’ll slice it, wrap each piece, and fill the boxes. You know what they say. If you’re a single lady wanting to be married, put a piece of groom’s cake under your pillow, and one day your prince will come.”

Nate raised his eyebrows and looked at me, not sure what to say. I just nodded our approval and said, “Good job on the boxes!”

That afternoon as Nate put twinkle lights on the back yard evergreens, I went to meet with our caterer. But when I walked through her door, a group of 25 friends came around the corner and shouted, “Surprise!”

It was another bridal shower!

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” (Romans 12:15)

Young Love (#104)

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October 30 – 31, 1969

 

Now that we were less than a month from our wedding, it was time to ask my principal for some honeymoon time off. We would be marrying on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and hoped he’d give us a week beyond that. A seven day honeymoon would be short, but Nate needed to get back to his classes anyway.

Principal's officeWhen I approached Mr. Scarce in his office, he greeted me with a big smile and a couple of jokes about becoming a married lady. He was in a good mood, and I had the feeling I was going to get what I asked for.

 

Back in Chicago, teachers were given  3 paid “personal days” during the school year and a handful of sick days. In Danville it was different. And in Mr. Scarce’s opinion, a week’s absence wasn’t reasonable. I explained I wasn’t asking for paid vacation, just time off… but the answer was still no. He joked with me about a one-day honeymoon, but it wasn’t that funny.

When I walked out of the office, he’d given me permission to miss 3 days – without pay – mentioning that there were others who would love to have my job if I was unable to do it.

Since I was very grateful for that job, I smiled and thanked him for the 3 days but knew Nate would be disappointed. Not counting our actual wedding day (which would end at about 11:00 PM), we would have a whopping 4-day honeymoon.

When I arrived home and gave Nate the bad news, he responded with a couple of reasons why 4 days would be just fine. For one, we didn’t have much money and a short honeymoon wouldn’t cost much. Also, missing fewer classes would be a good thing. “We’ll just make the most of each of our 4 days,” he said. “Besides – once we’re married, every day will be a honeymoon.” (Spoken like a man in love.)

Knowing how few days we would have, it was easy to structure a plan. Rather than waste time traveling, we would honeymoon right in Chicago, a fascinating city with much to explore. But we’d have to keep our location a secret, or my family just might drop in uninvited.

John and CathyThat evening we asked one of Nate’s law school buddies and his girlfriend to come for supper. John was one of the groomsmen, and since he was located in Champaign, it would be easy for him to keep a secret. So we asked him to be our getaway driver. “It’s very likely we’ll be followed when we leave the church. Would you be up for helping us escape?”

 

Fondue potJohn and Cathy loved the idea and promised they would succeed at their assignment. As we shared a meal using the new fondue pot we’d received at the last shower, we strategized and came up with a complicated scheme — not only to evade mischief-makers when leaving the church but to hide Nate’s car and our honeymoon luggage somewhere in the city several days before the wedding.

After that, the only thing left was to plan our 4 precious honeymoon days in Chicago.

“Be content with what you have.” (Hebrews 13:5)

Young Love (#103)

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October 27 – 29, 1969

 

Although both Nate and I slipped quickly back into our work routines, we began the week knowing we’d be driving the 156 miles back to Wilmette on Friday. There was still a tall stack of wedding invitations to address and mail.

MusicSheet music needed to be sent to the 7 bridesmaids so they could memorize their singing parts, and we needed to figure out their headpieces. I hadn’t had the final fitting on my gown, and Nate had to work on the tuxes, getting the sizes from each of the men.

We needed to meet with the photographer and sit down with the pastor. Figuring out the order of service and writing up a program was on the long to-do list, too, as well as checking with the bridesmaids to see how they were doing sewing their gowns.

I needed to find hostesses for our reception supper in the church basement and chat again with the caterer. Mary and I wanted to shop together for wedding shoes and a few things to pack for the honeymoon. And coming from a family that loved to play jokes on people, we needed to find a getaway driver that could be trusted.

Through the week it was difficult to stay focused on teaching my first graders to read while my mind was on the wedding. My little girls quickly picked up on the excitement and peppered me with questions.

“What does your wedding dress look like, Miss Johnson? Will you have a veil? Is there a flower girl? What will she wear? Can we come?”

The brideDuring free time they drew pictures of brides and grooms, wanting me to take them all home – which I did. When I told them my groom was keenly interested in their artwork, they beamed and ran for the crayons. On the playground I found myself running around with the kids as if I was one of them, full of happy energy.

One thing the children didn’t like, though, was that I’d soon be changing my name. “But you’re Miss Johnson,” they said. I had them practice repeating “Mrs. Nyman,” insisting it would still be me, but most of them turned up their noses and said, “We’re gonna call you Miss Johnson anyway.”

PumpkinsNate and I bought pumpkins and carved them in our tiny kitchen, enjoying every minute together. The mailbox continued to bring fun messages from loved ones. My Uncle Edward from California (Aunt Joyce’s husband) wrote:

“My Magee – We sure look forward to the BIG event and a chance to meet Nate, with whom I must now share my love and affection. I do remember you both daily and am REAL happy for both of you. When you need me, call me collect!”

Uncle Edward.

When he said he “remembered us daily,” he meant in prayer – an awesome gift. Blessing was pouring toward us from all directions, and in our nightly prayer times we couldn’t help but be overwhelmed.

“Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:20)