Rejoice and be glad.

After two weeks visiting three grandbabies in England and several days with two more in Michigan, I’m up-to-date with our five youthful relatives. Cameras are clicking non-stop, but sadly their Grandpa Nate is only in a few of the photos, and he’ll never appear with three of these children. As a matter of fact, none of the five will ever know him.

Skylar                                                Nicholas                                  I’ve worked hard not to camp there in my thinking. Instead I’m trying to focus on God’s spectacular timing in sending three new lives just as we’re painfully adjusting to losing one.

All of us pray for good health, protection and safety. When circumstances dish out the opposite, disease, injury or danger, it means God has overruled our prayer requests for important reasons that will ultimately be to our benefit.

As an example, take the 9/11 terrorist attacks. In the beginning it was all about anger and revenge. “What kind of a God would let this happen?”

But a month later, the entire country had recognized God as a force for good in America and had begun appreciating people in new ways. Many had started going back to church. Prayer meetings abounded. And those who’d lost loved ones in the attacks vowed not to wait before telling family members of their gratitude and love. Yes, there were losses, but there were also gains.

Henry Blackaby, an author and teacher I admire, says when we pray about specific situations, we ought to carefully observe what happens next. God will show himself in the circumstances that follow.

I remember years ago when a missionary friend who was based in the States (but a citizen of another country) was trapped in governmental red tape. Trying to renew her visa for traveling in and out of America, she’d been left in a third world country when her team had headed home. Unable to get back into the US, she sent out a call for prayer.

I began praying but wondered if I could help in another way also. I asked God what to do. Within days I “happened to hear” a broadcast on the power of fasting and decided God wanted me to fast for my friend.

At the end of a week’s fast, my friend actually called to say she’d not only received the paper work she needed but had secured permission to exit and enter the States indefinitely for ten years, something she’d never expected.

Was it an accident I was influenced to fast? I believe it was God’s response to my question of what I should do. When we seek him, he shows himself.

So here I am today, missing Nate and praying daily about my family’s different future without him. What should we think, Lord? What should we do?

His answer has come with three babies born in the first five months after Nate’s death. God has shown us we’re not to dwell on our losses but to focus forward and give thanks for where we are today.

We will never forget Nate. We’ll always love him dearly and delight in recounting our endless memories of him. And although his five grandchildren will never know him personally, we aren’t to spend time bemoaning that. Instead we’re to rejoice in their lives and move into the future with gladness and gratitude for the way things are… today.

“This is the day the Lord as made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

Power over Sugar

I love sugar, especially candy. Cake and cookies are right behind it. I call them my “Three C’s,” and if I could remain healthy doing it, I’d eat nothing but.

The sad truth is that none of these are good bodily fuel. None provide energy, strength or nutrition, and I know this from trying it. As a 22-year-old teacher in the Chicago public Schools, I packed my lunch every day: a bag of Chips Ahoy, Oreos or Pecan Sandies, followed by a Snickers bar or a Baby Ruth. Although everything tasted good going down, afterwards I didn’t feel very well.

But, I reasoned, God made sugar. He knew my mouth would love it more than anything else so must have meant for me to enjoy it. I was willing to leave the gravy and butter to someone else, along with the chips and dips. My love affair was with sweets. Although I’d try to eat right again and again, eventually I’d end up back with the Three C’s.

Frustrated with this on-again, off-again eating pattern, I finally approached God, seeking a solution. His instruction didn’t beat around the bush: “It’s not good to eat much honey.” (Proverbs 25:27a) Although he made sugar to enjoy, he never meant me to go whole hog.

All of us have our weaknesses. I believe God deliberately designed us this way so we’d have areas in which to practice control. If life was about self-indulgence, how could we ever develop self-discipline?

Food control is an issue for many of us. Reality tells us, “Eat some, but not too much. But definitely eat.” It’s like telling Jack, “Chase that squirrel to the tree, but stop when you’re half way there. But definitely chase him.”

Once we define the areas of our lives that lean into exorbitance, it’s probable we’ll be skirmishing there for the rest of our lives. That reality makes me groan with discouragement. When Adam and Eve lived in the Garden, they didn’t have this problem. But how long did that last? Maybe a couple of weeks?

They had to square off with self-control immediately after God kicked them out of Eden. The harsh reality for all of us is that lack of moderation is the result of jet-black sin. That’s why giving in never satisfies. After one sleeve of Chips Ahoy, a second will always be needed. Whenever I melt into temptation with the Three C’s, its sin that needs removal just as tumors need removing with surgery. The only real satisfaction comes through denial.

Did Jesus crave sweets? Or gravy? Or anything? Our impression from Scripture is that he didn’t eat regularly or much. We also know he fasted, one time for over a month! He was probably skinny, and food was most likely a low priority. But was this easy for him? Probably not. No one likes to feel their stomach growl.

When I think of my love for the Three C’s and my love for Jesus, sugar quickly falls into its proper place at the bottom of my list. Although my mouth will continue to demand it until the day I die, denying it is a chance to become more like Christ. His desire was not to satisfy his earthly appetite but rather to please his Father, God. And mine ought to be the same.

” ‘My food,’ said Jesus, ‘is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.’ “ (John 4:34)

Coast to Coast Love

Lake Michigan has been a familiar and well-loved shoreline since my earliest memories. My siblings and I grew up loving both the Illinois and Michigan sides of the lake, while our California cousins grew up on a different shoreline, next to different waters. They fell in love with the mighty Pacific Ocean and its beaches.

All of us appreciate our pasts on different shores and try still to “beach it” frequently. These wonders, shells, rocks, white powdery sand, tan squeaky sand, salt water, fresh water and sea glass, fascinate us. The rocks, especially, bring delight to me. This week, while looking over my multiple buckets of stones, each one picked up because of its beauty, I came across my small stash of heart-shaped rocks. None are more precious than the 16 hearts the Lord hand-delivered to me on one beach walk during Nate’s struggle with cancer.

Although I might go many months without finding one heart-stone, that day I came home with 16, one for every member of our family including the three then-unborn babies. It was a bonanza of love poured down from my heavenly Father. Although his love surrounds all of us every minute of every day, he knew I needed a visual reminder and delivered it with excellence. (See Oct. 18 blog post, “Take Heart.“) Since that unusual day seven months ago, I’ve found only two additional heart-shaped stones.

This week I chatted with my friend Linda, an artist and lover of all things beach, about the possibility of framing the 16 hearts. She gave me the ideas I needed to pursue the project this summer. Once this collection of hearts is hanging on my cottage wall, it’ll be a steady reminder of God’s ever-present love, available in abundance and surrounding us continually, even when we can’t see it.

Recently I received a package from far-away California sent by a beach-loving relative who has the same high regard for stones that I do. The small box my cousin Patti sent was filled with sweet love, and it means a great deal to me. Attached to the sand-colored box was her intriguing note: “From my beach to yours, remembering Nate and thinking of you.” I paused to ponder what might be inside but couldn’t guess.

Lifting the lid, I saw a spectacular rock sitting atop a square of cotton fluff, the likes of which I’d never seen. Carved by nature into the layers of this sedimentary specimen were multiple hearts, one inside the other as if a sculptor had done it on purpose. And in a sense it had been sculpted, but not by a person. The Artist who created beaches in the first place is still busy producing impressive stones and most probably did sculpt it on purpose.

I know Patti would like to have kept that remarkable rock, yet she surrendered it to me, knowing of our shared love for beach stones and wanting to send love across the 2000 miles between us in a meaningful way. She succeeded, and I count her stone among my most precious treasures.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)