Nate used to talk often about his favorite Christmas gift, received in 1955. His one and only wish as a ten year old was that he get a BB gun from his parents, but he knew it was nigh unto impossible. His folks were not “outdoor people” or hunters. Besides that, his mom was cautious and not big on letting children take risks. Their home was managed with efficiency and order. Nate knew it was a long shot but when asked what he wanted for Christmas, he answered, “A BB gun.”

When he saw the long skinny box under the tree on Christmas morning, he could hardly believe it. Even this year he talked with fondness of the feeling he had when he tore open the gift and saw exactly what he wanted. His impression was a mix of “They really love me a lot!” and “Oh boy, am I going to have fun!”

So how about this Christmas, 2009? It won’t be that much fun. Gift-buying seems out of sync with Nate so recently gone. I used to call him “Big Giver” because of his desire to give us whatever we wanted, and that included BB guns for all four of his sons. None of us are expecting a big gift-unwrapping session this year, but all of us have received an early Christmas present, something that couldn’t be gift-wrapped. Hans and Katy called from England to give us the exciting news that their expected twin babies are one boy and one girl! While God has been weaving together these two little lives, knowledgeable of every detail, we’ve been longing to know more about who they were. Boys? Girls? The information that Katy and Hans will be greeting a son and a daughter is a fresh blessing that’s brought us all great delight.

These two children, along with Linnea and Adam’s baby boy arriving in February, are gifts of life the Lord is bringing to our family to help us move from sadness over Nate’s death, to joy over new life. The timing is not accidental, and I appreciate God’s creativity in helping all of us in such a dramatic way. All of these babies were astonishing surprises, gifts of immense value. Nate’s cancer was a surprise, too, although it was not a gift.

This morning during my prayer time, the Lord reminded me of a blessing I hadn’t directly thanked him for yet. It has everything to do with Nate’s death and was actually hinged upon it. At several points during his adult life, he’d experienced spiritual dry spells, as so many of us have. Those times were frustrating for him and also for me, and I’d prayed passionately that God would open Nate’s heart and mind to fresh understanding of himself and his ways back then.

What occurred to me this morning was how abundantly God had answered my prayers! Nate is with the Lord now and no longer has to “live by faith and not by sight.” He’s living with the Christ he can actually see and talk with. His questions have been or are being answered, not just through the written words of Scripture but by the Lord himself, face to face. No more dry spells, not ever! He has received the fresh understanding I’d prayed for, with benefits beyond measure.

Thinking about that this morning was another early Christmas gift to me. And the Lord reminded me of something else, difficult to absorb but nevertheless true. In order for Nate to have been given the gift of no more spiritual dry spells, the gift of living in the Lord’s presence where a person’s understanding is expanded like never before, he had to go through cancer and then through death’s door. If I look at it this way, his cancer actually was a gift after all. That’s hard to believe, but it turned out to be Nate’s avenue to vibrant, fulfilled living such as none of us has ever known. And this is superior to any gift that could ever be found under a Christmas tree… even a much desired BB gun for a ten year old boy.

“If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” (Philippians 1:22-23)