Smiling through a Funeral

Tears and crying are part and parcel of most wakes and funerals. That’s logical. But I’m learning that the funerals of people who have lived their lives well include hearty laughter and many smiles, too.

Today John Welch had such a funeral. Although his grandchildren, most in their twenties, had difficulty talking about their grandpa without crying, they also found themselves joking through their tears. Grandpa’s death caused sadness only because he was such a powerful presence in their lives, which was a good reason to smile.

The pastor turned to these “kids”, nearly twenty of them, and said, “I hope you realize how fortunate you all are, to have had a grandfather like yours, a man who prayed for you every day and told you he loved you every time he talked with you.” When the magnitude of blessing is that great, a funeral brings joy to its mourners along with their tears.

Those of us who attend such a funeral as secondary mourners, i. e. not part of the deceased’s family, find ourselves taking our cue from the primary mourners. We gain courage from their smiles and enjoy conversation with them and other dear friends we’ve not seen in years. Funerals are important events, and caring people gain courage from grieving together.

Something else positive happens at the funeral of a person who finished strong. We in the audience leave the event with a fresh resolve to live better ourselves, because the one being celebrated did so well. John Welch’s relatives described this man as one who prayed volumes, found good in everyone and steadily grew in his faith. After hearing this, I want to do the same.

Several speakers mentioned John’s attitude of humble servanthood and his gift of helps saying, “No job was beneath him.” As I listened, I asked myself if that was true of me. Was I willing to step into any set of circumstances where there was need? All I could see was massive room for improvement.

Joy and sorrow are closely linked. The old expression, “I might as well laugh or I’ll cry,” has a world of truth in it. Although John Welch had reasons to cry during his life such as having to bury both of his beloved wives, he practiced his hearty laugh on a daily basis and encouraged others to focus on the good in their lives.

He consistently testified that the only reliable source of true joy was his relationship with Christ. And because of this, he could laugh with gusto at his own troubles, and we could smile throughout his funeral.

“Even in laughter the heart may ache.” (Proverbs 14:13a)

11 thoughts on “Smiling through a Funeral

  1. Thank you so much for the picture of dear John. All you said is so true about him. And you are so right about who we are and being challenged by our dear sisters and brothers in the faith. Until we see Him face to face, I pray I keep growing and obeying my Lord and am a joy to my family and friends.
    God bless you and have a wonderful Christmas, dear Margaret.l
    love
    Beth

  2. Thank you, for sharing, knowing and encouraging us once again today.

    Love to the whole family

  3. What an grand reunion there will be in heaven with our Savior and so many precious treasures as well.

  4. It truly was a beautiful service and a tribute to a great man. I found myself reflecting on the shepherds who when they left to manger scene, they “returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen”. What a challenge to us as grandparents and example of how to be most influencial in the lives of our grandchildren, whether we have 2 or 20.

  5. I will always remember John. His brown eyes full of laughter, and always a smile on his lips. As a teen at camp, he and Jeanette “nursed me”, when I had a badly infected mosquito bite on my ankle. John took an old camp wooded ironing board, padded it up very well, propped it on my cot, and had my whole leg rest on this elevation. He’d check on me, frequently. In some of his last phone visits, he recalled these great camp days.

  6. I am such a pansy when it comes to driving in the snow. I wanted to come but the snow kept me off the roads last night. My father considered John one of his closest friends and I know Dad was on that welcoming committee in Heaven along with so many of others of our mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles and loved family members that have gone before him. John was a very special man and served His Lord faithfully. Now John is experiencing the presence of Jesus. Connie, you had very special parents, your family is blessed and for years to come the influence and prayers of your parents will be felt and answered.

  7. Could not agree with you more, Margaret. To see the influence that one man can have is a real encouragement. People like John Welch are few and far between, and I feel privileged that our whole family knew and learned from him. Thank you for your post.

  8. It truly was a God-honoring funeral. Loved the color guard unit honoring this WW veteran, but especially loved the legacy video of his deep faith and hearty laugh at the end. What a great example to all of us to impact our kids and grands in prayer and encouragement and humor.