Nelson has no idea that by the end of this month, he will begin feeling poorly in several ways. His symptoms are mysterious and unwelcome, and they don’t even hint at the disastrous diagnosis they will ultimately reveal.
Heavily on his mind at the beginning of February is whether or not he and Ann Sophie should schedule a break from the day and night pace of working with YWAM while pastoring a church. Soon they would become parents, and Nelson planned to be very much involved in parenting the little boy God was preparing to them.
Repeatedly in his journal he has asked what God thinks about making a big shift. Logic tells him that with the baby coming soon, there’s no time like the present to tackle the decision. The problem was all the questions that came to mind when he tried to puzzle it out. Should they give up one of their commitments? And if so, which one(s)? And when? And if they left, where would they go? To do what?
Nelson senses big changes coming but has no idea how extensive they’ll be. He is also unaware that in the end, he won’t have to decide anything, because God Himself is going to step in and do it for him.
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February 3, 2022
Early morning, still dark at our place at Hale Ola. Annso in the next room, pregnant as all get-out.
We’re packed up for the termite tenting today [all food double bagged, right], but first a beach staff meeting. Should be better than usual, with just 4 of us today.
Seems that whoever we have on staff over the years, people really need these meetings to unload and get stuff off their chest, though sometimes it lands on us. That can be really stressful, but it’s part of the job.
I am looking forward to a break from YWAM but not sure what exactly it will play out like. It’s the 3rd day of February, 2022. The date seems unreal. The 1990’s seems like ancient times. Actually, time is going so fast, 2019 seems like the old days but it was just 3 years ago.
Lord, I’m thankful for all of it. Thank you for the uncertainty and the certainty, although there is much more in the first category. Thank you for the joy you brought through Annso and the prophecy from Mom years ago to that effect. You are so nice to me, and I deserve none of it, especially not her. We have our little challenges here and there, but mostly, we get along so well.
I pray for the wisdom on how to do our taxes. Seems I vacillate between being overly honest to the point where we hurt ourselves and don’t need to, and just not reporting things we probably should. You have been so kind to me after all my trouble with the IRS in the past. We have no debt, no financial trouble at all, and you have given us all sorts of income streams. Being in Hawaii, it’s easy to rent things out [scooters, cars], and that helps.
I pray you would guide us in this transition, possibly into living off campus and not running the Kokua Crew anymore. It’s not our ministry anyway. It’s yours.
I pray for our little guy who is about to come into the world and that the delivery would be quick and easy for Annso. I’m sure millions of people pray for things to be easy, and maybe what’s the point, but I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least ask. You have been so nice to us and for us, that it seems the beginning of stuff is the hard part—like when we were dating and spending all that time apart being the worse part, and the marriage itself being the easiest. I pray the same thing for our little baby.
We had such a hard time getting pregnant, and if it follows the same trend, you would make the delivery easy. Why not? At least I can ask.
I pray for my meeting with Jimmy today about church and the time we have left in his internship. We’ve hit an all-time low in attendance. I have felt we should quit pastoring for some time now, and maybe the writing has been on the wall much too long. Same thing for Kokua Crew. We had a good run at it, but I don’t want to stay with it until maybe someone asks us to leave.
Please give us the wisdom to know what to quit and when to quit, if anything. You know what’s coming and have put us in the right positions at the right time. You also know the boundaries we should set, both with work and with personal relationships. Just let us know what to do.
I pray for a kingdom mindset with taxes, faith, possessions, status, location, what we do with our time, everything. Thank you for our invitation to spend a little time up north at Steve’s place for a day and a night away. I know it will help us.
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“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.“ (Proverbs 16:9)