Nate would be appalled. Without realizing it, I’ve been running around without any health insurance. I went over the handlebars on my bike without insurance and spent six hours in the emergency room without insurance. I had a full head scan and 21 x-rays without insurance and today at my annual ob-gyn appointment, the woman at the desk said, “Did you know you don’t have insurance?”
After telling her that wasn’t possible, she mentioned my insurance company was going out of business. I knew that. Two months ago I’d signed up for a new plan with a new company (which translated to several hours of being “on hold”) and pulled the new insurance card from my purse to prove it.
But after 30 minutes staring at her computer while she brought up my accounts with both insurance companies, we concluded she was right. I was wrong. Apparently there was a three week gap between the end of one and the beginning of the other.
Oh how I miss Nate! He would never have let this happen. Although I’d asked what seemed like hundreds of questions in the process of terminating the old insurance and setting up the new (with additional “hold time” while waiting for the answers), apparently I hadn’t asked the one question that could have saved me from the mess I’m in, which was, “When does it start?”
Today I’d driven from Michigan to see the doctor but heard the lady behind the desk say, “If you keep your appointment today, you’ll have to pay for everything yourself, which we call self-pay.”
Since I’d waited three months to get in and needed a new prescription to combat osteoporosis, I nodded and said, “OK.”
The doctor, who has become like a friend after many years, spent 45 minutes with me, taking time to ask questions about Nate and all that’s happened. I left her office with a fist full of prescriptions (mammogram, colonoscopy, bone density test, Fosamax) and in my usual daze, walked right past the girl at the desk and straight out the door. On my mind was whether or not Jack had gotten hot while waiting in the car for two hours. (He was OK.)
An hour later, just as my car was driving over the Michigan state line, my cell phone rang with the doctor’s office on the caller ID. “Did you walk out without paying after you said you would?” the girl at the desk asked. “I’ll take your credit card number right now.”
I’m learning the hard way, and tomorrow will most likely be another day spent “on hold” as I try to talk to both insurance companies and my insurance man. Hopefully, after enough time “holding on,” I’ll be able to unravel the confusion.
By now I’m used to the fact that as a new widow, my part time job is listening to “musak” and hearing a phone robot tell me my call is important to her.
But never mind. I’ve got a Bluetooth, a skein of yarn and two eager knitting needles to make all that “hold time” worthwhile.
“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8-9)
Oh Margaret, Bruce can’t go before me! He takes care of all that and I am not even good with the check book! There should be a whole chapter in the Bible for widows! You are doing so much better then I think I would. Praying for the practical for you as well as the grieving!!! God is so good to walk with us even in these issues. luv Beth
That’s like a nightmare, Margaret. Can you at least hold off on the tests until the new insurance kicks in?
Lord, as Margaret faces the task of getting all of this insurance figured out, go before her and make the rough places smooth. Give her favor among every person she interacts with either on the phone or face to face. Put before her people with compassion, correct information and counsel, and patience to help her unravel this. Whatever costs have been incurred in between insurances, wipe them out. Let this thorny issue be instead another marker, another memorial stone, where You showed up to be her husband and caretaker. Amen.
Love,
Terry
I certainly EMPATHIZE with you Midge; becoming a widow is ‘hellish’ in it’s own right….assuming the role of ‘taking care of yourself’ it a whole new entity. Having been on my own at a very early age taught me ‘the ropes’ of doing so…but widowhood for someone who has had a ‘lifetime’ of being cared for by a loving spouse…and having to make such important decisions during a time your mind just seems to ‘go to lunch without you’ sometimes…is major challenge. If I may make a suggestion to all who read these blogs and comments, and there are people who- like Beth Jones said “her husband takes care of all that’…learn what to do and when to do it – NOW- DO NOT DELAY !!
I found it helpful to make a list for the house, vehicle, myself, and took on the maintenance schedules, etc…for all. When I turned 65..Medicare kicked in…since coming to Fla. the insurance thing has been absurd, but Tenn. was great! Widows have a special place in the heart of God…what a wonderful ‘husband’ he is to me…and will be for us all – if we let Him.
Being in the financial world I have come to realize how important it is for all of us women to be involved with, not only budgeting, but knowing where all of the money is, where it goes and what it buys. Daily I talk to women about finances, insurance, and knowing a little about investing smart. I encourage everyone who reads this blog to get more involved with the bills and not rely on spouses (which is very tempting) to take care of things. Yes it can be challenging and overwhelming but it is our responsibility to be informed. Margaret, you can do this, I know you can. You are smart and patient and if someone talks “above your head” ask them to rephrase in english. Stand your ground and above all, God will see you through. He is protecting you. I will be praying for you as you conquer this Goliath. “Lord, please rain upon Margaret today your wisdom and patience as she tackles the insurance maze. May the people she encounters be pleasant, helpful and desiring to see her succeed. Guide her to the best policies and give her peace about her decisions. Thank you for the people in her life who have helped navigate her and if she needs them today, may they call even before she realizes she needs their help. May you now do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to Your power that is within us. Amen.
GGpatzian, you are so right on with your comment… DO NOT DELAY. Great advise.
Going through so much of that is why I had to write From One Widow to Another: Conversations About the New You. My biggest insurance battle was with Aetna. I spent 22 hours on the phone in one week to get the ‘in home health care’ we’d been paying for. Uggh.
Yes, Margaret, you will prevail.