Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Right Emphasis

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This week I’ve left home to attend a writer’s conference in Wheaton, Illinois. It’s being held at Wheaton College, my alma mater, and being back here is a mix of past, present, and future.

WheatonMuch has changed on campus since I graduated in 1967, but its “bones” remain the same. Two dorms and the off-campus housing of senior year are as they were, and last night I enjoyed a miles-long walk while reminiscing, picking out the rooms I had called home and the places I’d spent so much time. At the end of my walk I sat on a park bench in the center of campus and tried to process it all.

Park BenchPart of looking back is dealing with regrets. Did I make the most of my opportunities? (no) Was I serious enough about studying? (no) Did I separate from best friends to make time for new ones? (no)

But the past is past, and those books are closed. Instead it’s wise to focus on the present, my reason for being on campus this week. This conference is a place to hone the craft of writing, to meet people who love it as much as I do, and to learn of new opportunities. That turns me toward the future.

M & BMost people struggle to find a good balance between what has been, what is, and what is to be. I think of Mary and all that’s happening in her present. Occasionally she wonders if doing something different in her past might have avoided cancer (no). Yet now she faces a worrisome future.

The Bible speaks to our predicament of wondering how much to invest in our personal past, present, and future. The most concise summary is in 1 Corinthians 13:7 where it says that love bears all things [the past]… hopes all things [the future]… and endures all things [the present]. In other words, it’s ok to dip in and out of all 3 time periods, but when we do, we should put the emphasis on love. What does that mean? The phrase just before verse 7 tells us.

It says that love rejoices in the truth. So we can ask ourselves, what’s the real truth about my past? My present? My future? We can choose to love the good in each time frame and rejoice in those truths, letting God take care of all the rest that might bother us.

That goes for me at the Wheaton writer’s conference this week and for Mary, as she faithfully follows through with the treatment at hand.

Jesus said, “Blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.” (Luke 11:28)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful for a full day with daughter Stina working on wedding plans.
  2. Please continue to pray about my feeding tube pain, which inhibited my walking today.

A Concrete Solution

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Deck progressAs the days go by, our new deck grows. Most homes in the neighborhood already own good-looking decks, but this is our first ever, so watching it take shape has been satisfying. In a couple of weeks we’ll be enjoying it much like kids enjoy a tree house.

Our plan is to build a low-ceilinged room beneath the largest part of the deck, fully protected from the weather. Since we have no garage, this under-room will serve as a garage-sized shed while giving double-duty to the yard space already taken by the deck. Last week workmen poured concrete for the floor of this room, partnering it with 50 year old concrete that was already there and still in good shape. Watching the process was fascinating.

The truckWhen the cement truck arrived, it was too big to make the turn into our drive, so the men had to ferry the wet concrete from the street to the back of the house, one wheelbarrow at a time. Thankfully the “pour” wasn’t too big, and they finished quickly.

As they dumped their loads into the rectangular space, I was surprised at how full-of-chunks the cement was. Would our floor be made of sharp rocks? From my perch in the house above them, I watched carefully and finally went out to ask.

“It’s gonna be so bumpy,” I said, bemoaning the stony texture.

Bumpy cementGetting glassy“Just watch,” one guy said. “I’m gonna bring all the cream to the top. It’ll be so smooth it’ll be slippery.” That was hard to believe.

But sure enough, as he manipulated the wet cement with his tools, little by little the sharp rocks disappeared and glassy-smooth began to appear. A final step to put broom-texture on the surface changed slippery to safe.

Watching this transformation reminded me of how God works on us over time to smooth away our rough edges. Scripture calls it “purifying” or “refining” or “perfecting”.  The Lord starts with our coarse state of natural self-focus and prods us with the tools of circumstance toward refinement. No difficult experience is without his spiritual intention, and we’re given lots of opportunity to get the irregularities knocked off of us.

None of it feels good and can include anything from “uncomfortable” to “excruciating”. Mary is currently enduring a long refining process in her fight with cancer and chemo, putting her toward the excruciating end of things. Though she often seems already-refined to us, from God’s perspective every human being (no matter how godly) always needs more.

BumpsAs a reminder of this, I added a couple of “bumps” to the smooth surface of our new concrete: a 2014 penny to mark the date, and a beach stone to remind us that God always has more work to do in smoothing us out toward Christ-like-ness.

“Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” (2 Corinthians 7:1)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful for a sister who faithfully sends out these prayer reaquests and keeps everyone informed about my situation.
  2. Please continue praying about feeding tube pain.

The Best Years?

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Every mother of babies and toddlers has been stopped by strangers who’ve said, “Oh honey…. these are the best years.”

When mommies hear that, they’re usually exhausted from getting up during the night, carrying a baby all day, dealing with toddler-tantrums, and listening to an exorbitant amount of whining. “The best years?” they say. “If these are the best, how will I ever cope with the worst?”

Of course what strangers mean is that these are the only baby-years: pudgy bodies, sloppy kisses, first words, first steps. In that sense, they’re good years, though they don’t happen without exacting a high price from parents.

When there were fiveI love little children, especially that amazing year between the first and second birthdays when they learn to walk, talk, eat, think, and so much more. Those developments usually come in a predictable order, but parenting has plenty of surprises, too.

One of them is the intense joy of relationships with our non-baby children, the ones who’ve grown into adults. We’re still their parents but no longer bear the burden of responsibility for them, so are free to interact as friends, too. The big surprise was how much fun that turned out to be.

For example, this weekend I got a call from our community mail house that a package marked “perishable” was waiting for me. It had come all the way from Hawaii, but from whom?

???????????????????????????????Inside a nest of shredded newspapers was a spectacular array of tropical flowers like I’d never seen before, amazing blooms with secondary blossoms growing out of those.

Nelson and TomFishing for the card, I found the signature, “From the Hawaiian Dynamic Duo, Nelson and Tom.” Our Nelson is operations manager on the Youth With A Mission base in Kona, Hawaii, and Tom is the head electrician there, a guy with “flower connections.”

I contacted Nelson immediately to exclaim over my gift and said, “But what’s the occasion?”

His answer was one of those lovely parenting surprises that come from grown children: “Just to say I miss you.”

Tropical bountyDecades ago when I was slogging through stores with young children and someone told me those were the best years, I never dreamed the years with adult kids would be in close competition. Even more than the exotic flowers last weekend was the joy of hearing that Nelson misses us as much as we miss him across the 4300 miles between us.

I’ve seen Mary and Bervin’s children elicit the same delight in them, especially during these days of cancer and chemo. Their grown kids have come alongside and expressed their feelings through words, gifts, and service, special perks genuinely needed and fully appreciated.

Happy mamaBTW, these unexpected pleasures from adult children are unavailable from our pudgy little ones, even though those are “the best years.” But God’s intention is that parents view each child as a  blessing always… at every age.

“Children are a gift from the Lord.” (Psalm 127:3)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m grateful for a wonderful Monday without chemo this week.
  2. Please pray my feeding tube will stop acting up with discomfort/pain, though I’m thankful it nourishes me through the night.