Monthly Archives: May 2014

Arms Wide Open

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There’s no friend like an old friend. As the world is shrinking and people become more mobile, maintaining old friendships gets tougher. Hanging on requires a deliberate effort to stay in touch, and not just through social media. There’s nothing like putting your arms around a good buddy to nourish a friendship.

???????????????????????????????This weekend seven of us recharged some long term women-friendships. For 25 years we’ve worked to stay current with each other, but recently it’s become increasingly difficult. A decade ago we met monthly, rotating in and out of each other’s homes for evenings of conversation, laughter, and good food. These days, however, finding monthly dates has been impossible, partly because we’ve become grandmas with 43 grands between us.

When we finally do get together, though (this time after 7 months), something special happens. And we’ve just had a very special 24 hours. This was the first time we’ve been together since Mary’s cancer, and during our prayer time today, voices were catching and tears were falling.

Sunny friendshipsBut one of the reasons old friends stay friends is the absence of secrets. Looking around the table at breakfast this morning, it struck me that we seven know virtually everything about each other. We can ask any question and know we’ll get a thorough, honest answer. No subject is off limits, no games are being played. No one is trying to impress another, and there’s no one-up-man-ship.

ConnieThese are the friendships that mean the most to women, and I think to God, too. He wants us to set aside the goofy notion that we can hide something from him or keep him from knowing the whole truth about us. He’s hoping for transparency.

In the Gospels Jesus invites us into open friendship with him, offering to reveal his true self to us. After such a magnanimous offer, how can we refuse to “wrap our arms around him,” preferring arm’s length instead?

This weekend we began to understand that maybe the Lord wants us to view earthly friendships as a hint of what’s waiting for us in Paradise. One day we’ll have a camaraderie with Jesus that will far surpass even what we seven had this weekend. And it will satisfy our longing in an overwhelming way to finally be able to put our arms around Jesus, our true Friend.

5 of 7“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a nourishing weekend with old friends, for sunny weather, and for feeling wonderful
  2. Pray for Monday’s chemo infusion. Mary said, “I know chemo is the right thing to do, but it’s a reminder of the difficult truth that I have cancer.”
  3. She said, “Pray I’ll find the right mental balance between denial (when I’m feeling good) and negativity (when I’m feeling nauseated).

Spiritual Pluck

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SufferingGod’s desire that we go through “fiery trials” willingly is tough for us to swallow. What we usually want most is immediate relief from any suffering, without considering what his purpose might be in allowing (or orchestrating) it in the first place.

I remember listening to a married couple speak at church years ago about the anguish of infertility. They had no problem getting pregnant but had suffered through 11 miscarriages. Eleven!

Their hearts were breaking, and the wife cried that day as she spoke. But she said something I’ve never forgotten, something applicable in any distressful situation. “None of us want to endure pain, whether it’s something big like infertility, or something less consequential like hunger pangs. No matter what it is, our immediate response is to try to get rid of it. We want pain-free lives.”

Then she said, “God has unique purposes for the pain in our lives. To automatically work to get free of it might be to miss something wonderful.” She went on to tell of God’s blessings in the midst of pain and of her stronger-than-ever love for him.

Paul being stonedThe Bible offers an example of this same thing in Paul, a man who suffered willingly, even eagerly, if it meant he could promote the cause of Christ. He had the vision of God’s purpose in pain and saw each struggle (and there were dozens!) as an opportunity to showcase his faith. His M.O. was to direct people to Jesus, and if bearing pain with grace could do that, he said, “Bring it!”

Paul would have approved of Oswald Chambers who said we ought to “rise to the occasion” of each fiery trial. “It doesn’t matter how it hurts,” he wrote, “as long as it gives God the chance to manifest himself in your mortal flesh.”

Reading that makes me believe only the truly godly do valiantly with serious pain, whether physical or emotional. While the rest of us try to get rid of it, the righteous embrace it, fully expecting God to supply the fortitude necessary to make it through in a way that will accomplish something eternal.

Which brings us to Mary’s cancer.

One of her regular prayer requests has been to be the light of Christ to everyone who touches her life during this time, from surgeons to custodians to nurses to registrars to family to the general public. That’s because she’s conscious of being watched just as Paul was, wanting to demonstrate that God’s grace is sufficient.

Chambers wrote, “May God find us full of spiritual pluck and athleticism, ready to face anything he brings.” And that’s Mary. Spiritually plucky! It doesn’t mean she’s happy to have cancer or thrilled with chemotherapy. It does mean she’s willing to go through it, though, while looking to God for his supply.

“If you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.” (1 Peter 4:19)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a full day of activities without any nausea
  2. Praise for a weight gain total of 9 pounds!
  3. Pray she will keep her eyes “fixed on Jesus” without getting distracted

The Choice

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PackageYou blog readers and many others have gifted Mary with everything from daily prayers to letters, greeting cards, flowers, books, cozy clothing items, two prayer shawls, health foods, and more. She’s made use of everything, gratefully wrapping herself in the blessings you’ve shared.

Recently we were talking about all this bounty and she told me (with exclamation points in her voice) how astounded she’s been at the way each gift has been perfectly matched to her need-of-the-moment. “Of course it’s God putting these things together like that,” she said, “but he’s using the generosity of friends to do it. It just amazes me.”

But I think Mary has something to do with it, too. Even in her debilitated condition, now with nausea plaguing her on top of fatigue, she’s making a conscious choice every day to embrace what people send. She could have chosen the opposite approach, thinking, “I don’t deserve these gifts. I’m just going to set them aside. Besides, I can’t read all the books, can’t absorb all the messages.”

Instead she has received each one eagerly, knowing it’s the Lord who’s behind the perfectly-timed arrival of every item. And she doesn’t want to miss anything he’s trying to say to her, through these gifts.

Jesus TodayAs we talked further, Mary gave me an example: “Somebody sent me Sarah Young’s new book, Jesus Today,” she said. During a discouraging moment I opened it to entry #9 and found God’s exact instruction of what I needed to do to lift my mood. Writing from a first-person point of view as if she was Jesus talking, Sarah wrote, ‘As you go through this day, you will encounter things that make you cringe, things that are wrong or ugly. […like cancer] Do not let them become your focus’.”

Mary went on to tell me how the devotional challenged her to “look the right way,” which is to look at Jesus. Ms. Young wrote, “You yearn for perfection, and I [Jesus] am the fulfillment of that deep longing. I am able to stay close to you as you walk through this sin-stained world. So look the right way – toward blessings, toward Me – and the Joy of My Presence will shine upon you.”

Mary marveled at God’s well timed delivery of personal encouragement that day, as he’s done over and over with the gifts she’s received. But when she said, “I want to choose to do that, to ‘look the right way’,” I had to smile. I’d say she’s been doing pretty well at that already.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for sisters in “Club Chemo” who have come alongside with tips and encouragement 
  2. Praise that today was a day with minimal nausea; please pray that this will continue
  3. Pray for the strength to get through the 4 busy days ahead