Monthly Archives: February 2014

What’s your moving date?

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This week I cooked a traditional dinner, a “three-pile-meal” as we used to call them when the kids were growing up: meat, veggie, and starch. I haven’t done much three-pile cooking since Nate died, but I go back to it when others join me at the table.

This time, however, when I made such a meal, I did a little gambling. I had promised to make “cheesy potatoes,” Betty Crocker’s version of homemade scallops, which comes in a box. Since her products are laced with preservatives, I figured the expiration date didn’t really matter.

???????????????????????????????After dinner I said, “So… how were the potatoes?”

“Great!” said Nelson.

“Tasted fine,” said Birgitta.

“Especially good!” said Louisa.

“I’m glad,” I said, “because they were nearly 3 years expired.”

*            *            *            *            *

Processed food isn’t the only thing that expires. Eventually we all do. The dictionary defines “expire” as: to die out, to come to an end. When we use the word in reference to a human being, we mean they’ve died. A life has ended.

But God doesn’t see it that way and doesn’t want us to, either. Death is simply a life-shift to a new dimension and a new way of living. This is the reason Christians don’t fear dying. They believe earthly death is merely the route that moves them from one neighborhood to another, and it’s an upward move to be sure. In that sense, the concept of a human expiration date just doesn’t fit.

Ticket to heavenWhen Mary first received a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer she said, “I think I just got my ticket out.” In other words, she (and all of us) thought this was the beginning of the end of her time on earth.

She made her ticket-comment without fear or sarcasm but with a sincere belief in God’s truth about moving from the here-and-now to the hereafter. Though she didn’t know “how long she had,” she figured her moving date was about to come into sharp focus.

But today, after many tests and a long meeting with multiple doctors, she was told her “ticket out” will be dated far in the future. The experts are optimistic that a surgical procedure called the Whipple can remove Mary’s existing cancer (all in one place) and give her an indefinite earthly-life expectancy. Although the operation is both complicated and temporarily debilitating, they linked the word “cure” with a successful surgical outcome.

The Whipple

So, does Mary still have a “moving date” on God’s relocation plan? Of course. All of us do. But her ticket out, once thought to be close, has been moved to the vast unknown like the rest of us. And because of that fabulous news today, we are all singing, “Hallelujah!”

(BTW, the night I served those expired cheesy potatoes? I didn’t eat any, just in case we needed a designated driver to the ER.)

“If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:8)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Clarity for the doctors as she seeks a second opinion
  2. Wisdom to make decisions over the next few days
  3. Praise to God for today’s good news!

Sister Sob Story

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This morning I had a meltdown, a 20 minute cry over my sister Mary and her cancer. As the days pass and additional medical recommendations are made for her treatment, all of us are increasing in hope for a brighter future than we first thought. Time after time I have to remind myself this isn’t a repeat of my husband’s rapid-fire cancer, and we are NOT approaching Mary’s final days.

This morning, however, I lost sight of that for a few minutes. But it wasn’t just that.

???????????????????????????????Mary and Bervin’s son Luke has been an extraordinary asset to his parents since her diagnosis on February 15. As a highly successful consultant to hospitals around the country, Luke has absorbed a wealth of medical information, not just about specific doctors and health care institutions but about patient care, therapeutic drug use, and diagnostic testing.

Since the diagnosis, Luke has been Mary’s medical champion and full time troubleshooter. Although I know only a fraction of what he knows, he and I jive perfectly on one thing: Job-One is to protect Mary from all harm.

For example, we’ve known from the very first day that too many phone calls, texts, and visits would overwhelm and exhaust her. So Luke and I talked about that and have steadily worked to shield her from an overdose of social life ever since.

Yesterday, for instance, a group of ladies very dear to Mary emailed me with the hope they could spend time with her today. I texted Mary for her opinion, but when I didn’t hear back, I made the decision to handle it myself. I told them a visit would be too much for her and that they shouldn’t do it. I wrote, “How about notes or flowers instead?”

Eventually Mary and I talked about their request to visit, and since these women were from out of town, she opted to let them come. This morning, as I mentally constructed an apologetic email to the ladies, it hit me that as passionately as I want to protect my sister from harm, I can’t really do it. And it’s not because of phone calls, texts, and visits.

???????????????????????????????Mary has cancer! And I can’t do anything to defend her from this enemy’s ongoing assault. That was the real reason for my morning meltdown.

As I talked to God about it through this day, he gradually convinced me that it doesn’t really matter if I can’t protect my sister. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that that’s his job. “I’ve got this,” he said.

And so, although cancer does have the powerful ability to cause meltdowns, God has the greater ability to protect Mary in whatever way he chooses.

“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you.” (Psalm 91:2,6,9-10)

Mary’s prayer requests: 

  1. For courage and confidence in the Lord 
  2. For God’s will to be done  
  3. Continued prayer for her kids

Thanks!

An Important Preposition

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Mary and I have been working through a challenging Bible study together in the last few weeks. Louisa and Birgitta have been doing it too, and all of us have become aware that the preposition “in”, though little, has big significance.

Believing GodOur study is titled “Believing God,” and one of the first things we learned was the monumental difference between believing God and believing IN God. Most people, if stopped on the street would say, “Sure. I believe in God.” But is that the same as actually believing him?

In our Bible study we’ve memo- rized 5 statements that are critical to God-belief without the “in”:

  1. God is who he says he is.
  2. God can do what he says he can do.
  3. I am who God says I am.
  4. I can do all things through Christ.
  5. God’s Word is alive and active in me.

In our Bible study we repeat these powerful truths aloud at the beginning of each session, reminding ourselves that if we don’t agree with these five, we’re believing IN God, not believing God.

I'm believing God.And that’s not all. Our video instructor asked us to find a blue ribbon or cord to tie around one wrist during our weeks of learning. Much like a string tied around a finger, it was to be a reminder of those 5 truths. When we saw our blue cord many times each day, we were supposed to say, “I’m believing God,” accompanying it with sign language: “I’m (pointing to chest) believing (pointing to head) God (pointing upward).”

Two Thursdays back, Mary had a fever and wasn’t feeling well, so she missed our study time. We decided not to proceed without her, hoping she’d be back the next week, but by then she’d learned about her cancer. Now we’ve pushed the pause button indefinitely, because our little band of believers wouldn’t be the same without her.

When I visited Mary the morning after her diagnosis, her blue cord was peeking out from under her hospital gown, not much more than a few threads now. But there it was, testifying to those 5 rock-solid reasons for continuing to believe God, despite pancreatic cancer.

Believing God, even nowI’m wearing my blue cord, too, and as we chatted that first painful morning, I quietly planned to do the finger exercise at an opportune time, pointing to chest, head, and upward. Mary would know what it meant. But she beat me to it. Only a few minutes into our conversation her arm went up, she pointed to her blue cord, and did the point, point, point: I’m – believing – God.

So how, specifically, is she believing him? Today, she said it was this way:

“The Lord will cover [me] with his feathers. He will shelter [me] with his wings. His faithful promises are [my] armor and protection.” (Psalm 91:4)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1.  For God’s wisdom in making treatment decisions
  2.  For preparation of each family member for what they will learn this week
  3.  For comfort, especially for her children

Thank you!