Yearly Archives: 2013

Building a House

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Skylar's birthdayIt’s been a week of celebrating for our family: Klaus and Brooke’s wedding, three family birthday parties, out-of-town company, and unnumbered festivities wedged in between. But when all the excitement is over and life settles into its new normal, what will be remembered most?

Today I re-read the notes Nelson used to officiate the wedding, taking another look at his more serious comments to the bride and groom. He agreed to let me quote him here, as he addressed Brooke and Klaus:

Happiness!Although having fun together, having good chemistry, and having lots in common are great places to start a marriage, these are not the bedrock that will hold you guys together over the long haul. Consider the words of Christ from Matthew 7. “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house. Yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”

Today you’re starting to build a house. It’s a spiritual house. From this day forward, you’re not building alone, but together. The Lord uses everyday images to teach these simple principles. Consider the big beautiful houses built right on Lake Michigan. What if a builder constructed a multi-million dollar house and then set it on a sand dune without a foundation? It would be certain failure.

But the Lord’s words are reassuring and empowering on this wedding day. He says that while “the winds blew and beat against that house” the house didn’t fall. We might say, “When trouble comes into your lives as a couple, you won’t fall, because your foundation is on the rock.”

That rock is Jesus Christ and your building blocks are his words. The Christian couple stays together because their faith is in someone far greater than each other. Walking this faith out one day at a time is building on that solid foundation. Marriage is meant to last a lifetime, not a week or a year or even ten years. It goes well into the unknown future.

Many marriages begin with a contract contingent on the performance of the individuals. “If you make me happy, I’ll love you.” It’s performance based. This may work for a few years, but when storms come, people pack up and leave. They’ve built on sand and the house collapses.

A God-centered marriage will last a lifetime because it doesn’t stand based on the performance of either person. It’s built on the bedrock foundation of Jesus Christ. Today you’re starting to build that house.

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!Although our recent wedding day included lots of wonderful words, these from Jesus surely are the most significant, not just for Brooke and Klaus but for all of us.

 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.” (Matthew 7:24-26)

Tying the Knot

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Brooke and Klaus have spent many months preparing to be wed, not just by gathering decorations, organizing the ceremony, and planning a menu but also by talking with counselors and pastors before ever getting engaged, in an effort to troubleshoot before trouble comes. They arrived at their wedding day more prepared than any couple I know.

The ceremony.

Part of the reason for this is that they’d been through several relationship challenges during their 3 years together. These they viewed as blessings in disguise, warnings to show them where weaknesses were hiding. Their desire was to stand together on their wedding day with the wrinkles smoothed out as much as possible.

Prayer time just beforehand

The result of their counseling was wholehearted, individual dependency on God, and part of their vows to each other last Saturday highlighted promises to keep Jesus Christ as their top priority, to go to him first, should difficulties arise. And just before the ceremony, they went to him in a fresh commitment, and also to request his blessing on their day, their guests, and their lives together. I admire them both greatly.

Because they had put first things first, their wedding day was carefree and joyful, a barefoot bride facing her groom in a lush outdoor setting with guests seated comfortably on bales of hay. Tears from both of them during the ceremony testified to tender hearts for each other and deep sensitivity to God. Nelson, who was officiating, reinforced that: “As long as you both keep Christ at the center of your marriage, you can’t fail.”

Triple cord

On this day when Brooke and Klaus “tied the knot,” they chose to symbolize the importance of tying themselves to the Lord by braiding three cords together. They want their marriage to be a trio with God rather than just a duo. Nelson explained: “Two people who are bound together in Christ are stronger than the individuals themselves.”

Of course we all know that life frequently dishes out the unexpected, and this young couple won’t be exempt. But I do think they’ll do well, mostly because they tied their knot in a triple cord with the One who has the power and ability to hold them together. May God use their relationship to coax the rest of us to do the same.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Done!

The Rehearsal

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I began praying for my children before I’d met any of them, and one of my ongoing requests was for their future spouses, should they choose to marry. It was fun to think about those other children, wherever they were during the growing-up years, being raised in other families, yet being prayed for by ours.

As the dating years arrived, I secretly wondered, “Is she that one? Or maybe is he?” Just like parents longing to meet and get acquainted with their not-yet-born baby, I longed to put names and faces with my prayer requests for these future spouses.

The face and the name

Now I have the pleasure of connecting Klaus’ bride with a name (Brooke) and face (lovely), which was great satisfaction when it happened. And last weekend my prayers for my son’s future bride changed to prayers for my new daughter-in-law.

It all began, though, with a rehearsal, just as most weddings do. Those in the wedding came together to run through it at the selected location, which in this case was a beautiful estate complete with woods, rolling hills, two ponds, several fountains, homes, and a lawn just right for 150 bales of hay (seating).

Hauling bench-bales

After filling up on pizza, everyone received instructions and took their places. The four young children did exactly as directed, and the “preacher,” our Nelson, reviewed the order of service with bride and groom. The sound man tried his equipment, and Birgitta practiced the song she would sing.

Little wedding people

Spirits ran high, and even little Emerald happily watched the proceedings. Although an untimely rain constantly threatened, everyone proceeded as if it didn’t, hoping the ceremony wouldn’t end up in the barn.

Much of life can be rehearsed beforehand. We can make plans to research how situations will most likely go. We can role-play, troubleshoot, and do dry runs in an effort to be prepared for what’s around the corner.

But some things can’t be anticipated and take us by surprise. An argument. A diagnosis. An accident. A break-up. We wish we’d known ahead of time so we could have gotten ready, but there we were, exposed and unprepared.

God offers to help in times like these. Nothing takes him by surprise, and because of that he is always prepared. He has already seen what’s ahead and wants to soften the blow for us if we’ll let him. All we have to do is ask.

The rehearsal.

Brooke and Klaus worked hard to prepare for their rehearsal, which then prepared them for their wedding the next day. And because they planned to move into their marriage arm-in-arm with the Lord, any surprises that can’t be rehearsed ahead of time shouldn’t threaten them. Since their God is always prepared, they won’t have to worry.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)