Monthly Archives: May 2013

A Happy Ending

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It was back to the cemetery for our family today, a tradition of nearly 50 years. If we count our parents’ visits, it’s much longer than that.

Rosehill Cemetery

So, in this morning’s cold rain, 8 car-loads of relatives left Michigan and headed toward Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery located at Bryn Mawr and Western Avenues. Though we have no formal program there each Memorial Day, the family historian (Mary) encourages people to prepare memories, even silly ones, about any of those buried in the family plot.

Today our brother Tom started, having brought a book detailing the history of this interesting cemetery, including its Civil War veterans. He read aloud, describing the notables buried nearby, and we were reminded of the care some take to leave detailed burial instructions for their heirs. All of us hope to be remembered well, and in an effort to shape the thinking of those still living, Rosehill burial monuments range from fascinating to bizarre.

Explaining who is buried.

This morning Mary brought photos of past cemetery visits when the adult children present today were still babies. Her notebook included large photos of each deceased relative, and she showed the children how to match the pictures to the tombstone names. The idea of death being a part of everyone’s earthly life is a topic we’ve all been encouraged to freely discuss.

We talked about Nate (the most recent death) and his loyalty to his law clients, his infectious laugh, and his soldiering on through difficulties.

We also talked of Dad bringing Mom to this spot on some of their first dates in 1940. He was letting her know that family was a top priority with him, and it might even have been a test to see if she felt the same. Now, after 50 years of marriage, they’re buried side-by-side.

Dad had also mentioned that since his brother and mother both died in the early 1900’s before effective embalming and weatherproof caskets, their bodies had probably decomposed. He told us, ”Most likely their remains are feeding the roots of this big oak tree here.”

We found his comment odd and also funny, but it revealed an acceptance of death as part of life. Dad believed, as the rest of us do, that those buried in the family plot had gone ahead to better lives.

Key words? “Gone ahead.”

These deceased relatives now know far more than we do about life after death. Though their bodies may have deteriorated at the end of their lives and after death, their spirits  soared to life-spectacular. That’s why we can stand at the cemetery every Memorial Day and talk openly of their lives and deaths without spooky feelings, uncertainty, or fear. We’re confident each of them is privy to a happy ending. Thankfully, the rest of us can be sustained by the same hope.

Prayer of gratitude

Traveling 200 miles today to be reminded of that was well worth the drive.

“In [God’s] great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you.” (1 Peter 1:3-4)

Signs of the Times

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Let's celebrate !Today was a day of celebration centered around our middle child, Klaus. Last week he graduated with a degree in Human Resource Management from Purdue University at the same time as he turned 32, and he’s close to launching an interactive web site he’s been developing for 3 years, www.fishaband.com. On top of that, he and Brooke are 3 weeks from their wedding and a honeymoon in Hawaii, making these particular months an extraordinary time for them both.

Every life includes significant mile-markers, and looking backward we can see them clearly. Some are celebratory events like today’s party, but others would never be labeled “celebrations”. We don’t think of the negatives as being mile-markers, but they’re probably more significant than the party-worthy ones. For example, a critical comment might be a marker that ends up changing a bad behavior pattern. Or an unexpected job loss might lead to a much better career.

An important marker might be a parent’s dementia when they no longer recognize their own child, or the death of someone dearly loved. These milestones aren’t good ones but are profoundly important just the same. And good things can come from all of them. Klaus is a case in point.

Nate and I had to take him out of college (for financial reasons) when he was only half-finished at age 20, a big disappointment to him at the time. Today, degree in hand, he looks back at that signpost and says, “It’s better this way. Back then I had no idea what I wanted from life.” Good has come from what was a “bad” marker 12 years ago.

A GOOD day...

Another Klaus-example was the signpost that occurred when he chose to leave the bustling Chicago metro area to live in a tiny Michigan town. After living his whole life “in the big city,” his move to a small town seemed difficult, but down the road he ended up meeting his true love.

Scripture tells us if we turn our lives over to God’s direction, every mile-marker after that will have positive results….. eventually. As always, patience is required, but if we’ve given our lives to God for his purposes (which are always good), without fail those purposes will stand. (Proverbs 19:21)

Klaus has committed his life to Jesus Christ, and the markers we celebrated today are part of what has resulted. He recognizes that this year’s many important signposts are exactly what God had in mind for him. Though there may be disappointments or even catastrophes in his future, they won’t come without God having sanctioned them first, and since that’s true, Klaus can proceed with confidence and optimism.

Cousins Emerald and Jones, 1 week apart

One of his gifts today was a box entitled, “Your Life in T-shirts.” Each one represented a life-marker, beginning with a tiny baby shirt embossed with his name. He’ll wear many other shirts in coming years such as “fishaband.com” or “Welcome to Fatherhood!” or “Little League Coach.” Today we celebrated the signposts thus far…. while God was busy putting the next markers into place.

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” (Isaiah 30:21)

Keeping an Eye

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All of us treasure our eyesight. In reading through scriptural references to the eyes, we’re told we can gain much by what we allow ourselves to look at and can get into trouble the same way.

One biblical reference to an eye, though, has always puzzled me: “Keep me as the apple of your eye.” (Psalm 17:8) I know being the apple of someone’s eye means you’re very special to them, possibly more important than anyone else. It’s a position of loving favor. But what’s the logic of an apple being put together with an eye?

In the psalm above, David is talking to God, confident he is the apple of his eye. And he’s right, since God has already told him so. In Zechariah 2:8 God warns that anyone who hurts his people hurts the “apple of his eye” and will have to pay serious consequences.

Since the Bible contains the oldest references to the apple-eye phrase, I decided to research its meaning: (1) the ancients thought the eye’s pupil was a sphere much like a round fruit, calling it the apple of the eye; (2) the original Hebrew for this idiom was translated “little man of the eye.” The Latin word pupilla, which is much like the word pupil, means “little doll.”

Apple of his eye

So here’s the connection. When we stand face-to-face with someone, looking at each other closely eye-to-eye, we each see our own reflection in the pupils of the other. And so the phrase “apple of my eye” refers to a very close, one-on-one relationship with someone.

Only one person at a time can be close enough to see their image in another’s pupil. It doesn’t work with two. Thus there’s only one person who can be the apple of another’s eye. So how did this work with David and God? Or for that matter, with God and us?

Because the Almighty is who he is, superior to us in countless ways, he can (miraculously) be eye-to-eye with all of us at the same time while still remaining one-on-One. He’s a personal God, able to be all things to all people simultaneously. I can be the apple of his eye at the same time you are. It’s one of those divine phenomenons of 100% here and also 100% there.

God the Father has told us no one can look directly at him and live. But he’s given us the apple-eye expression as a way to understand how important each of us is to him, hoping we’ll feel the same in return.

In a related Scripture, God tells us he’s willing to guide us with his eye (Psalm 32:8). As we’re gazing at him, he passes along his all-wise guidance, which is then easy to receive when we’re that closely focused on him.

So no matter what happens to my earthly eyesight, I don’t want anything to damage my apple-eye vision.

“[God] shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye.” (Deuteronomy 32:10)