Monthly Archives: December 2012

A Slippery Slope

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Hauling them upToday Hans, Louisa, and I took 3 little ones to our snow-covered beach where we careened down slippery dunes on plastic sleds amidst abundant giggles and squeals. Twice our sleds ended up in the creek, but wet legs and mittens never dampened spirits.

When we first arrived, the children couldn’t get enough of the “down” but resisted the arduous “ups”, pleading to be pulled to the top of the snowy dune while sitting in the sleds. We complied, wanting them to gain enough enthusiasm for the sledding experience to stay all afternoon.

Pull me up!After a few hauls up, however, we adults began insisting the children climb back up by themselves, to which there was unanimous objection. Ages 3, 2, and 2, they planted themselves at the bottom, refusing to come up without assistance. We stood at the top cajoling them, but still they refused, wanting us to make the experience easier on them.

I’ve done something quite similar when God has asked me to make a hard climb toward a difficult goal he’s set for me. Knowing it would be difficult and that he could make things easier caused me to plead for him to do so. But the hard truth was that without the pain, I’d have missed the gain.

Our little ones could have chosen to stand at the bottom of the hill indefinitely, but if they had, they’d have missed the delights of a fast ride down on a sled. Something similar happens when we mentally shake a fist at God and say, “You aren’t being fair! None of my friends have had to go through what you’re putting me through. I simply refuse to obey you.”

In that situation, God says the same thing Hans said to his children this afternoon. “Ok, have it your way. But you won’t get to slide down if you don’t come up first.”

All of us would rather live life on a continual down-hill, but that trajectory would put us on a slippery slope to self-indulgence. When we refuse to take any route other than the easy one, we become lethargic and spoiled. Worse yet, we miss the joy that becomes ours after we obey an all-wise God.

Ready to go!Even a young child can figure that out. Today after one of our little ones finally decided to trudge up the dune to get a ride down, the other two stumbled their way up, too. It was rewarding to see how well they adjusted to doing the difficult thing, if it meant they could have another joyful sled ride. Before long they were running up the dune to “go again.”

And it works the same with us. Once we’re willing to tackle God’s prescribed challenges, the excitement of sharing in the results he brings makes it much easier to trudge up next time, so we can “go again.”

“What I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.” (Deuteronomy 30:11)

When we can’t understand…

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Having young children among us is always a plus. No matter what the stresses of the day, just when we need a lift, they come out with something interesting.

Neighbor's swing

For example, last week 4 year old Skylar and I walked across the road to take a break on our neighbor’s bench swing. (Thank you, Klints.) We were enjoying a conversation about whether or not the wet wood would dampen our clothes when she switched the subject. Pointing to a tall pine in our line of vision she said, “Wow, Grandma Midgee, look at that big tree!”

“Isn’t it pretty?” I said. “It’s still green in wintertime after all the other trees have lost their green leaves. It’s called an evergreen.”

When she didn’t respond I looked over. She was gazing up at the 50’ tree with a knitted brow, thinking deeply, and I knew something interesting was about to come out.

Tall evergreen

Finally she said, “Evergreen? What about ever-red or ever-purple? How ‘bout having some of those?”

Good question. Unless I wanted to go into the wonders of photosynthesis, I didn’t have a ready answer. So I just said, “That would be beautiful, Skylar. What a good idea!”

And that’s the thing about children. They’re always thinking, trying to understand the many mysteries in their world. As we adults grow older, we learn that there are scores of mysteries we’ll never understand. Maybe that’s why we subconsciously stop trying. When we get around children, though, their curiosity becomes contagious, and we begin again to wonder why things are the way they are.

To me the biggest mystery is why God continues to have any interest in us at all. Scripture makes it clear we were a tremendous disappointment to him when we chose sin over righteousness, and we continue to do it again and again, virtually daily. But for some reason unknown to us, he pursues us relentlessly, calling to us through circumstances, through the Bible, and through other people.

Why does he want us when we continually fall short of his ideal? The answer he gives when we ask is, “Because I love you.” That kind of love is a mystery to us, since we give or withhold love based mostly on performance.

In answer to that, he says, “Remember, I’m not you.”

So the only way to satisfactorily live with such a profound mystery is to simply accept that it’s true, and bask in that amazing love. One important thing to remember, though, is that doubting this divine love will only cause us trouble. Accepting it despite not understanding it is clearly the best choice.

Skylar

The only other thing we might do is ask a child. It could be that Skylar has an idea about why God continues to love us. In the mean time, as I’m pondering this great mystery on my walks through the woods, I’m going to keep my eyes peeled for some ever-reds and ever-purples.

“Show us your unfailing love, O Lord.” (Psalm 85:7)

Christmas Gifts from Nate

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Nate’s been gone for 3 years. Elements of grieving linger in our family, and we all think about him daily, sometimes hourly. Once in a while I still have a minute-to-minute day when he’s in my thoughts constantly.

The holidays when we’re all together except him can trigger renewed grief, but this year Nate “appeared” during our family Christmas celebration by putting a gift for each of his children under the Christmas tree. Not directly, of course, but through me.

I’d kept all of Nate’s neckties except those having to do with the holidays. (The Ties That Bind) Those went to his office mates, since they’d loved teasing him every December when he wore a different Christmas tie each day. But the others (60 or so) hung in my closet, a potent reminder that he was gone.

Maybe the sight of them should have cheered me, but during the 3 years since he died, they’ve produced only sadness. So last year I hung them in the back of the closet where I wouldn’t see them at all, which remedied my immediate problem but wasn’t a permanent solution. I contemplated giving them to Good Will, but that didn’t seem right either.

Nate loved ties and had over 100 of them. He enjoyed the selection process each morning and wore them all, even the ones that had dots of salad dressing or other stains. The truth was that I loved his ties, too, each one a mini-friend. I really wanted to keep them “in the family.”

So, at the beginning of this year, I asked God for an idea. What could I do with the ties that would be meaningful to my family without being a sad reminder of Nate’s absence? As always, the Lord had a great idea. He reminded me of a friend of a friend who sews for a living. Could she do something with Nate’s ties that would transform yet preserve them?

After a few emails back and forth, she and I settled on 16” throw-pillows made from the ties, so I mailed them all to her and hoped for the best. When the finished pillow covers arrived in early December, I knew God’s idea had been the perfect solution. Each pillow was unique and beautiful, and the ties were no longer unused and sad, hanging in my closet.

As I wrapped the pillows in Christmas paper, I worried our children might feel funny about seeing all those familiar ties cut into pieces, but they loved their pillows and quickly identified their favorite ties.

Our God is utterly faithful in all categories. When he invites us to pray, he intends to answer. And he always, always follows through, even if it’s just with an idea for what to do with a husband’s ties.

“My God will meet all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)