A Man of Integrity

Today is the 20th anniversary of my Dad’s death in 1991. He married for the first time at 42 and was privileged to hit the 50 year mark with Mom, shortly before he died. Although he didn’t have even one health issue at the ripe old age of 92, a fall that splintered his pelvis into 13 pieces proved fatal. Although a young person could have tolerated traction for so long, immobilizing an elderly man worked against his survival.

Dad was born in 1899, a fact we children flaunted on school playgrounds. Mom used to say he was a contemporary of D.L.Moody who died 3 months after Dad was born. As a kid I used to reason that older was wiser, so Dad must have been the wisest father around.

The first child of parents who’d immigrated to America as teens, Dad spoke only Swedish when he walked into 1st grade at age 6. But he was quiet and observant, quickly learning English and other American ways, like how to avoid the knuckle-smack of an angry public school teacher.

He lost a little brother to pneumonia when he was 12, and his mother to TB at 13. After helping raise two younger siblings then training with the Army during World War I, he rode a streetcar to Northwestern University and emerged with two degrees. He navigated the Great Depression as a 30-something, and worked tirelessly to preserve his dying father’s real estate business.

My sister, brother and I loved hearing stories about the early 20th century, viewing him as a walking, talking history book. As a kid he chased after horse-drawn ice wagons hoping for loose chips on a hot day, and watched donkeys drag wagons of dirt out of hand-dug tunnels, Chicago’s eventual subway system. The city was paved with mud, election results were announced with fireworks, and all of it fascinated us.

Dad was honest to a fault. If a letter arrived with the stamp uncanceled, he’d say, “You can’t reuse that stamp, you know. It did what it was bought to do, and using it again would be robbing the postal service.” Letters only cost two cents then, but his statement was more about integrity than money.

Despite a bumpy background, Dad never experienced self-pity or bemoaned his losses, accepting life as it was. Although he wasn’t demonstrative and rarely shared his emotions, we all knew he loved us and would do anything in his power to help us. We also knew he gave 50% of his income to God’s work at the peak of his business career, which spoke volumes about his faith priorities.

My siblings and I were given a gift in Dad, but also a responsibility. Scripture says, “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” (Luke 12:48)

And then there was Dad, who had much taken, but gave more than he’d been given anyway.

“Those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” (1 Corinthians 4:2)

 

 

Jolt of Joy

Nate has been gone a little more than two years now. Yesterday I found a stack of pictures I’d tucked into an upstairs drawer, photos I hadn’t seen in over a year. He was in every one of them. The value of these images has skyrocketed, because we can never make more.

I love looking at pictures of Nate, staring into his face, thinking about him. For a split second, he’s back.

Last week I came across one of the weekly index cards he wrote for each of our away-from -home kids every Sunday. As always, it was covered with his difficult-to-read handwriting, sharing family news. I read it three times, studying his words and especially his signature, “Love, Papa.”

Today I had a third split second visit from Nate in the most unlikely place: our basement freezer. I was digging around for a bag of pecans I knew were in there someplace, holding frozen packages of meat, veggies, and chocolate chips in my arms, when a pale pink Post-it fell to the floor. It had a tiny white shoe taped to it with the word “Thoo” and an arrow pointing to it.

When our toddlers were learning to talk, Nate had always been fascinated with their mispronounced words. He loved language and read dictionaries for pleasure, but no words fascinated him more than the ones his kids created. He found particular delight in using their nonsensical vocabulary in his own conversations, words like “chach” for lunch, “setsup” for catsup, and “eltenoh” for elephant.

As for the pink Post-it, one of our 18 month old girls had first called her shoe a “thoo,” and Nate found that charming. He began using it to refer to his own “thoo’s,” and years later, when Barbie-doll and her beau Ken-doll joined our family, he laughed and laughed over their tiny shoes. Long after the girls had left dolls behind, we gave away our accumulated Barbies, Kens and their dilapidated wardrobes, including enough shoes to impress Imelda Marcos.

Then, as we were packing to move two years ago, one of Ken-doll’s miniature white bucks appeared under a bookshelf, its mate long gone. Nate didn’t just enjoy a private chuckle and sweep it into the dust pan. He put it in his pocket instead and made a plan. Eventually, the “thoo” silently appeared on my dresser, a tiny inside joke between a husband and wife.

How that piece of paper got into the freezer I’ll never know, but I have a hunch. Our God cares about the little things and loves to surprise us. He knew I’d get a little jolt of joy today from that tiny shoe and so arranged for it to walk back into my life via the freezer…

…a thoughtful God reminding me of a thoughtful man.

“Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:8a)

Overloaded

Today while running errands I was waiting at a light when a spectacular semi-truck turned in front of me. It had more tires than I’d ever seen on one vehicle, all doubles, 4 to an axle except on the cab. As it drove past, I counted: 36 wheels.

All I could think of was how difficult it must be to keep that many tires in good shape simultaneously. Are they wearing properly and balanced correctly? Are their lug nuts snug? Rotating tires must be a nightmare similar to playing Mancala with game pieces too heavy to lift.

Why so many wheels?  The answer is, tons of weight inside.

It made me think of all the excess weight we carry, not in pounds but in burdens. Trouble comes when we try to carry too much on only 2 wheels.

This morning in Bible study we were in Exodus, reading how Moses was trying to lead a million obstreperous people through miserable circumstances. He was doing the best he could, but it wasn’t good enough. He didn’t have enough wheels to hold up his heavy load, and it was ruining him.

God saw the problem and brought Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, to the massive Israelite camp at exactly the right time. In learning how burdened Moses was he said, “The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” (Exodus 18:18)

So God planted a fresh idea in Jethro’s mind, and Jethro passed it along to Moses. The heavy weight was quickly redistributed to helper-judges, which gave Moses the 36 wheels he needed to continue moving the massive group forward.

Years later he again found himself weighed down by the impossible burden of his role. The people were crushing him with their complaints, so once again he went to God. “I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me.” (Numbers 11:14) It was time for a new set of tires. God provided them again in the form of many able helpers, and Moses’ load was lifted.

What about our 21st century loads? More often than not we take on impossible weight, dragging under the heavy burden while trying to give the impression we’re living feather-light. When others see us bent beneath our loads and ask if they can help, we say, ”No thanks,” not wanting to add to their loads. But as we learned in Bible study this morning, if we accept the help of others, a blessing comes to them as well as to us.

Moses modeled what to do when we’re overloaded. Step 1: ask God to lighten it up. Step 2: listen for how. We’re to avoid the extremes of either asking no one, or asking many of the wrong ones, because our best burden-lifter will always be God.

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” (Psalm 68:19)