Shuffling Along

When plans go awry, we shuffle our thinking and come up with a new plan. Birgitta and I have spent our day shuffling, trying to catch up with unplanned events.

Her plan was to drive her car from Chicago to the University of Iowa today,  to begin an eight week summer school course. But tonight her car has been sold as junk.

My plan was to head from Chicago back to Michigan. But tonight, at 1:00 am, I am typing in Iowa City, Iowa.

Jack’s plan was to be sleeping in Michigan tonight, after a romp on the beach. But  he’s bedded down  in a “doggie designated room” in a Days Inn in Iowa.

I’m on and off www.GettingThroughThis.com just long enough to let you know I’ll explain tomorrow.

Pinpoint Pain

When we’re in pain, we think of little else. I remember Nate arriving home from work early one day, 6 months before he died. We knew nothing of his cancer but were aggressively seeking relief for his throbbing back.

When he walked in, I could see the pain on his face and didn’t have to ask why he’d cut his day short after only 4 hours. “This hurts so bad I can’t think straight,” he said, moving toward the bed with an ice pack.

All of us have experienced pinpoint pain that yanked our minds from what we were doing and focused them on our misery. I remember the jolt of an abscess tooth so painful it threw me backwards. As it continued to escalate, I longed to feel pain somewhere else, anywhere but in that one, specific spot. That’s exactly how Nate felt.

I have several friends who live with chronic, pinpoint pain. They tell me pain management therapy has helped them cope by teaching ways to think around the pain instead of within it. The intensity doesn’t disappear, but through specific brain-tricks, they learn to think differently about it. The brain is retrained, so to speak, in an attempt to fool it into feeling hurt less.

Maybe it’s possible for our brains to take a pinpoint of intense pain and spread it throughout the body like we might stir a spoonful of dark chocolate syrup into milk, turning white to tan as the chocolate dissolves. Most of us prefer diffused pain over concentrated.

The apostle Paul, a guy who wrote most of the New Testament, was an example of someone who struggled with pain, repeatedly begging God to take it away. After all, he’d given his life to promoting the Gospel and saving souls. Surely God wouldn’t hamper that eternal work by adding the weight of physical pain. Wouldn’t that be risking the success of the mission?

But God thinks differently than we do. He listened to Paul’s pleas for relief but gave him a “no.” Amazingly, Paul accepted this huge disappointment without objection and went one step further, acknowledging it could be a tool in God’s hands to teach him something. He had become famous as a learned speaker and intelligent debater and was worried about his pride.

When God insisted he live with pain, Paul knew it was in his best interest, an astounding response. But leaning harder into God for the skill to think apart from pain and successfully focus on spreading the Gospel turned out to be a faith-booster. And it never harmed the mission.

Might it work the same for us?

It didn’t for Nate, but God had a different idea for him. Rather than make him an example of strength-through-weakness like Paul, he decided to terminate the situation completely with a tool called cancer. Crescendoing pain burst into oblivion, and Nate became pain-free.

And Paul? He eventually got his wish, too.

The Lord… said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” (2Corinthians 12:9)

Doing Life God’s Way

Today I was waiting in line at a bank drive-through with the window down, listening to nearby bird songs. Since winter doesn’t leave many birds in the Midwest, hearing them each spring is a special treat. Today their music seemed quite close.

Sure enough, there was a nest just above the ATM sign perched on a tiny ledge. The mama was comfortably nestled in, although with our 88 degree temperatures, she needed have worried about cooling eggs. I snapped a picture and made a mental note to check back for babies.

After making my bank deposit and passing through the lane, I noticed a second nest, this one nestled in a tiny corner next to the bank wall. Another mama was in residence, but this time daddy was on hand, too. I stopped my car and opened the door to get a better camera angle, but he said, “I don’t think so!”

He took a swoop across the roof of my car, circling back immediately for a second pass. Neither of them appreciated my camera or me, and in an instant both daddy and mommy left their ledge and came at me again! I took the hint and drove away.

Both birds followed, looping around my car in wide circles, one of them swooping in front of my windshield as I sat at the nearby stop light. They were black with split tail feathers, and as they flew they flashed orange. Their lack of hospitality notwithstanding, I’ll be watching in coming weeks.

The bank birds reminded me of an incident with two year old Nelson. We lived two blocks from a commuter train station and walked each evening to meet Nate as he arrived. Little Nelson disliked his stroller, preferring to toddle on his own.

His strawberry blond curls bobbed as he walked, and apparently the local birds thought they’d make good nesting material. A couple of red winged blackbirds dove at his head, doing a fast flutter just above him as they plucked at his hair. I shooed them off in a panic, thinking of Alfred Hitchcock, and after that Nelson wore a hat to the train.

Fear tactics aside, nest-making and egg-defending have been programmed into these birds by God himself. Most animals automatically care for and protect their young without any schooling, doing a good job for one reason: they’re following God’s prescribed plan.

Everything works better when we do it God’s way, and that includes human parenting, too. In the Bible he’s detailed exactly what that is, listing do’s and don’ts and including stories of success (following his instructions) and failure (ignoring them). Thinking we might know a better way is laughable at best, catastrophic at worst.

Even now, as the mother of adult children, I want to do it God’s way rather than my own. I’m feathering my nest with slate tile and polyurethane sealant rather than strands of strawberry blond hair, but there’s still a mother-role to play.

My nest is usually empty these days, and I’m not chasing predators away, but as God shows me how, I want to do my best.

“Love never gives up.” (1 Corinthians 13:7a)