Travel Time, Part II

Posted on March 19, 2011 by Margaret

After entering an automatic car wash with a car carrier strapped atop our van, the kids and I didn’t understand Nate’s stunned expression when he saw us come out. “What happened to the carrier?” he said, alarm in his voice.

When I looked up and saw it was gone, I knew where it had to be. All of us looked back into the car wash and sure enough. There it was, in two mangled pieces, completely empty. Its contents were scattered on the car wash floor, including the contents of several suitcases that had torn open. Wet carpet strips gently dripped suds over the whole mess like salad dressing over lettuce.

Since I was unable to put a sentence together, Nate spoke first. Passing up a choice opportunity to accuse the guilty, he said, “It’s as much my fault as yours. I should have stopped you from doing it in the first place but wasn’t thinking.”

And it was my turn to be stunned.

Whether Nate knew it or not, he had modeled God’s love that day. He stood in front of me and took the blame for something that was clearly my fault, which translated to, “I love you anyway.”

When he refused to blame me, I instantly escaped everything that usually accompanies being blamed: judgmental words, embarrassment, a lecture. Although I deserved those things, because of his kind response, it all went away.

This wasn’t the first irresponsible act I’d committed, nor the last. All of us repeatedly goof up now and then, and when we do, we should willingly take the blame. Every mess is somebody’s fault.

God is the only one who’s never made a mess, goofed up or acted irresponsibly. He is never to blame… well… except for once. It happened when Jesus hung on the cross in anguish, voluntarily taking the blame for all our sins.

On that dreadful day he paid the price for every wrong deed we’ve ever done, every wrong thought we’ve ever had. Though we ought never to blame Divine Perfection for the messes we make, Jesus Christ accepted blame for them all. And what we hear him say through this incredible sacrifice is, “I love you anyway.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

At a car wash half way between Illinois and Florida, we gathered up our soaked belongings and loaded them into the van, which put us back to square one on over-packing. Nate asked permission of the gas station manager to leave our trashed car carrier next to his dumpster, and we were on our way.

Although there were material losses that day, there was one phenomenal gain for the kids and I: an unforgettable demonstration of godly love.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Where sin increased, grace increased all the more.” (Romans 5:8,20)

Travel Time, Part I

Posted on March 18, 2011 by Margaret

Although Nate always dreamed of having the freedom for extensive travel, I’ve always been happiest at home. When the two of us would go away, he couldn’t squeeze in enough sight-seeing, but walking back through our own front door was always the highlight for me.

Now, however, I have grandbabies. Although I’m getting “up there” in years and going away offers its inconveniences, spending time with these little ones has brought a new dimension to travel. Today Jack and I are on the road, headed south to meet up with two year old Skylar, one year old Micah, their parents, others of my children and all of my sister’s family. We’ve rented a couple of condos in the Florida Gulf.

My travel buddy, Jack, rides like royalty sprawled out on the back seat as we clock our 1425 miles together, visiting friends along the way. Our mostly-empty vehicle reminds me of many a crowded car trip with children jockeying for their fair share of space. Without the benefit of seat belts or car seats in the early years, personal boundaries were loosey-goosey and hard to define.

Just like every family, we always over-packed, pulling out of the driveway loaded to the ceiling. Then car-top carriers were invented, and we bought a tan plastic model from Sears that could have doubled as a giant McDonald’s burger box. It didn’t do much for the wind-flow around our station wagon but held seven full-size suitcases. Although it was a beast to load and unload, it cut down on passenger over-crowding and, by that, on parental insanity.

Driving from Chicago to Florida in March is to travel through three seasons in two days. But when northerners glimpse that first palm tree, it’s like walking out of a blizzard and into a botanical garden show. Winter ends and flip-flop season begins.

One of our many family drives to Florida was particularly memorable. We’d purchased our first mini-van and were excited to break it in together. The car-top burger-box was old and worn by this time but still worked well. As usual, it was crammed full of both soft and hard suitcases.

Half way to Florida we were gassing up and buying candy bars when I noticed a sign for a $2 sit-in-the-car wash. Since we’d started our journey on Chicago’s snowy, salty roads, the new van looked old, and none of us liked that. So as Nate walked into the gas station to pay, I said, “We’re gonna go through the car wash!”

Forgetting all about our carrier, the kids and I sat up straight while the automatic treads pulled us into the tunnel. Massive brushes and thick carpet strips quickly smothered us in bubbles.

Suddenly there was a tug on the van, followed by a mysterious racket behind us as the carrier straps snapped and the car wash brushes knocked our box off. Because of all the suds, though, we were oblivious.

At the end of the wash, our clean van sat sparkling in the sun just in time for Nate to see it as he came from the mini-mart holding a coffee in each hand. I was smiling, but he was not. “What happened to the carrier?” he said, looking at our rooftop.

[…to be continued]

“Don’t begin until you count the cost.” (Luke 14:28)

Who’s your hero?

Posted on March 17, 2011 by Margaret

Although it’s St. Patrick’s Day today, I’m still thinking about Valentines Day. I’ve just thought of a great gift every husband would love: a list entitled “TEN REASONS WHY YOU’RE MY HERO.”

Since Nate is gone, it’s too late for me, but I know he would have loved receiving such a list. Many men are under-confident in their abilities as husbands, and written reassurance would probably feel good.

The list could be ten character qualities you’ve seen in him or ten experiences during which you’ve watched him perform well. Wives and husbands often share secrets no one else knows about, and a hero-list might be ten of those. Or it could simply be ten reasons why you love your man.

Once in a while I see a Facebook comment between a husband and wife that’s upbeat and complimentary. Because it gives me a little burst of joy, I imagine the recipient feels joy-times-ten. Sadly, though, it’s more common and much easier for us to take our spouses for granted and assume we’ll always have them. The fact that more marriages break apart than stay together is a testimony to the lie of that assumption.

But there are ways other than divorce that marriages can fail. Loneliness is a cancer difficult to cure. When schedules get crowded, we expect spouses to understand and sacrifice couple-time for the greater good of the whole. The needs of children, too, can override time together and squeeze the love out of a relationship.

My mom often said, “You began as a couple and will end there too, so make sure you put him first all along the way.”

This is a mouthful when it comes to everyday life, and I wish I’d done it better. Nate did well enough for both of us, which probably caused me not to be as attentive as I should have been. But I missed many a chance to enrich his life by not communicating that he had hero status to me. Three sentences he often said were, “I love you; thank you; and I’m sorry.”

In a wife’s mind, these valuable words are the glue that holds a relationship together. When a person says these things, he/she isn’t taking a partner for granted but is nourishing the relationship and moving it forward.

Marriage was God’s idea, and once we tie the knot, he’s involved. Whether we sink or swim is important to him, and he offers to help us when the relationship gets frayed at the edges. I believe he’ll also quiz us about our behavior when we eventually stand in front of him. It’ll be part of “giving an account” of how we lived.

My chance to better my marriage is over, but those who are still married can lavish happiness on their #1 earthly relationship while simultaneously gaining God’s approval. So, putting your husband on a hero-pedestal becomes win-win for both of you and makes every day Valentines Day.

“Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.” (Romans 14:12-13)